Convenite's Lil Meet-Up

Is that a Cornetto in your hands?

"No, mummy, I'm NOT eating a Cornetto all by myself"

Work has been piling since I was back in the lab after the traumatizing CNY road trip. Yes, it did have THAT much of an effect on me. When we came back to Johor Bahru, Daniel came down with fever, on and off, and rather alarmingly high. Turns out, he had a middle ear infection. I've always been a little anxious and maybe a little paranoid too, about babies having fever. Some mothers are little more relaxed about it, saying that it is normal for babies to have higher temperature than adults during fever. But there is always this lingering fear of what a simple high fever can do. So, I constantly 'test' Daniel to reassure myself. So far, nothing serious that needs to be addressed.

And oh yes, he did finish the whole Cornetto all by himself. Nothing for me.. boo hoo.

Back To Work

Finally, after what seem like an eternity, I'm back to work! And happy birthday to me! I hit the big 3-0!! To celebrate this significant event in my life, I shall compile a list of 30 things that I'm blessed with in my life. But before I get to that, I have some unfinished business to complete for the previous post, because I was so tired then.

On my last day in Ipoh, I managed to meet up some of my coursemates from UPM for lunch. And as tradition goes, this is the time of the year to Toss The Fortune Fish. I just made that up, the name that is. In chinese, it's lou yu sheng, something like 'toss raw fish'. Why fish? The character 'yu', meaning fish, is closely associated with prosperity, because the sound for that character is identical to the sound for the character for surplus or plenty. Thus, the New Year saying 'Nian Nian You Yu' that means 'May there be surplus every year'.



Here are some more pictures.




So, in the between the lunch reunion and being back home in Johor Bahru, I was in the car...for another 10 hours.

Now, I'm sitting in my office, feeling dazed, wondering if this is reality. And trying to compile a list of the 30 things I'm grateful for in my 30 years of life so far. AKAN DATANG!

My *Happy Happy Chinese New Year

I CAME BACK ALIVE!!! Holy cow, I have so much shit to share. Good shit and bad shit. But first of all, thank you for all the comments to my previous post, especially my dear concerned friend who is lucky enough not to marry an Asian MCP. Sim, 800km may be exaggerating, and OK OK, I lied. BUT, after what you're about read, the entire journey will seem like it's 800km. I. KID. YOU. NOT.

And GONG XI GONG XI GONG XI NI AH means... if directly translated, it means congratulations, congratulations, congratulations to you AH. It's simple actually, it just means Happy New Year.

My fantastic journey to Seremban from Johor Bahru started on Friday the 16th. I drove all the way, which indeed, was less tiring and less nauseating compared to the backseater. When we started our ride, our little precious monkey already had his quality nap, so you can imagine the energy he had in the car for the first 1.5 hour. Man, I was laughin'. And it was a good laugh...in my heart. Hehehe, so evil hor. As I occasionally take glimpse through the mirror at the activities behind me, I cannot help but gloat. It was exactly what I used to experience when he drove and I took the backseat. Entertaining the little one, constantly shifting his position ( I hate the slippery leather seats and noise it makes when you move about ), asking the little one to sleep, making milk, giving him water and snacks and the whole caboodle. Through the eyes of the driver, it didn't look hard at all. Midway through the journey, he said (pathetically) "Gosh, why does it seem so long. Aren't we there yet?"

I felt like I won a million dollars.

It's called the backseat syndrome, time seems to be longer, I said with a smirk.

We arrived safely in Seremban in time to chill before the reunion dinner. This year though, it wouldn't be considered one because according to tradition, when a family member pass away, we mourn and do not celebrate the Chinese New Year. We do not visit other folks and do not give out red packets. Of course, many Chinese people nowadays tend to bend the rules.

Saturday was spent in the car, and I mean it. We started our journey to Ipoh at 2.30pm and arrived at our relatives' house at 1am, the next morning. We could've reached Thailand. I could've had a great time shopping for cheap Vision cookwares and wood-carved figurines of a man and a woman doing the nasty.

We stopped only twice, for input and output. Extra inputs for The Men since they are fans of carcinogens in the form of ciggies. Quite impressive eh. A month ago, when the hubbie told me that we're going to Ipoh this CNY, I gave him an immediate 'No' and I told him why. And we got into this big fight because he feels I don't like to 'follow' his side of the family. He was torn between making me happy and making his father happy. I'm telling you, this is a classic modern-meets-traditional problem. I gave him the logic, but all he wished was to do it just this once to make his father happy and proud. I can understand why. But seriously, after the entire stay, although there were some family-bonding-fellowship thingy, I could clearly see why I was there. It's all a show. Who's there and who's not.

We arrived glassy-eyed and were greeted warmly nonetheless. The poor little boy was already fast asleep, and couldn't care less to explore the new big house, which was perfect for paying hide and seek.

I brought my camera of course but I couldn't even bother. Sorry folks, no pictures of the delicious home-cooked food. Yep, the food was worth it. Funny thing is, I did mention that Ipoh is famous for its food. But we never stepped out of the house, only once for dim sum, which was so-so only. The days were spent helping out in the cooking, minding the little one, and catching up with the family members.

Hmm... I think I'm going to get sick. I'll stop here for now.

Gong Xi Gong Xi!

How was Retailer's Day folks? I don't know about those who spent ridiculously marked up Valentine's Day Special Set Course Dinner and what-nots, but I had a fantastic set course dinner of satay, ketupat, and sotong rojak at my local neighbourhood foodcourt. I am just not in the mood for romance these days. Maybe it's because I have ambitions. And also maybe I have this long list of errands to run before the Chinese *GONG XI GONG XI GONG XI NI AH DONG DONG CHIANG* New Year hit me in the face.

This will be the first CNY without mom-in-law, the time we'll miss her the most. The house will never be the same again this festive season. So, for a change, the whole family will be heading to the lovely town of Ipoh, about 800km from where I am sitting right now...or more. That was her hometown, where her siblings are. One of her successful brother built a big house to accomodate as many family members as possible who came to visit, eg for this coming CNY, so we graciously accepted the invitation to suss out the new home and of course the town which is very popular for its good food and white coffee. Ipoh, here I come, and don't let me down!

This is also the time my parents will be alone, separatedly if you know what I mean. This is when I hate traditions and cultural 'rules'. Of course some manage to bend them. This is also the time I wished I married a JohorBahruan or a Singaporean. Everyone will be nearby! I know, I know, it's the Ally-cannot-get-over-the-going-back-to-inlaws issue. It will ALWAYS be an issue, because we are two people who are filial and wants to be close to our own side of family, he, being the only son, and me, being the only child. And we're stubborn too. Maybe it's something simpler ie. I just hate long drives.

I learnt that driving is actually easier than taking the backseat minding an active toddler. I get carsick. I need to focus on the horizon but it doesn't help if my horizon is kicking his legs and wants me to sing him songs and clap hands and play This Little Piggy on his toes and fingers. The hubbie won't let me drive. The hubbie has not experienced the backseat syndrome. The men always drives. Silly me.

Great, this trip to Ipoh will have the car fully occupied, with no room to even stretch my imagination. Of course The Men (hubbie and father-in-law) will take the front seats all throughout the journey simply because they are men almighty. This leads me to a topic of men. Men have all the advantages in life if you ask me. But I will not rant about that now.

I'm done ranting. Gong Xi Fa Cai. Drive safely. Eat to your heart's content. Play mahjong all night and win. Year year got fish. Adios!

Beach Sunday

I love impromtu trips, like this one to Desaru, just an hour's drive from home. Desaru is probably the only decent beach that is nearest to us. The monsoon period isn't exactly over yet, so the beach was closed ie strictly no swimming. Nonetheless, the sunny and VERY windy weather was good enough for a little sand play.


It's always a joy to see the little one in a new place, seeing new things, learning about new things... like sand on the beach.


My favourites boys...

Read between The Lines...

Pulled out from The Star today:
Married men, take note. Your wife is your 'Prosperity God' and the more you hug her, the more prosperous you will get.

Taiwanese feng shui master Yu Yang has this tip for those who wish to usher in good fortune during the Year of the Pig. But for it to work, wives have to cooperate.

“Men, hug your wives more; and women, do not turn down the loving hugs,” Yu advised during her feng shui talk show at Queensbay Mall ( Penang )here.

What's going on? Hug for the sake of good fortune and not because you truly love your wife? What kind of message are we teaching people here ha, hug your wife for wat.. more money and to win lottery.... tsk tsk tsk. Shameless fortune-hungry pigs! Well, I think wives are already THE fortune.

I also can't help but to cynically decipher the motive behind that advice. Hmm, are we encouraged to have more 'pig' babies? This led me to pull out something else from the news:
People are excited about the coming of the year of pig as the year 2007 is not ordinary one but a very special year of pig, "the Year of the Golden Pig," which comes every 600 years.

A person born this year is likely to be a good parent. He may be easy to anger, but he is intelligent, honest, courageous, completes projects, gallant, and sincere. People born in these years are honest and straightforward. They can be relied on to see things through. They tend to be popular and make lasting friendship and are good neighbors.

The year 2007 is the "Year of the Pig," according to the Chinese zodiac. But it's not an ordinary pig year, which comes every 12 years it is believed to be the "Year of the Golden Pig," which comes every 600 years, according to fortunetellers.

They say babies born in the golden pig year will have comfortable and wealthy lives.

I love reading horoscope sometimes because it always offer hope and something good out of every zodiac sign. So I went on pull something out for the Snake people like myself:

People born in the Year of the Snake are deep. They say little and possess great wisdom. They never have to worry about money; they are financially fortunate. Snake people are often quite vain, selfish, and a bit stingy. Yet they have tremendous sympathy for others and try to help those less fortunate. Snake people tend to overdo, since they have doubts about other people's judgment and prefer to rely on themselves. They are determined in whatever they do and hate to fail. Although calm on the surface, they are intense and passionate. Snake people are usually good-looking and sometimes have marital problems because they are fickle. They are most compatible with the Ox and Rooster.

While I'm at it, might as well, pull something for my Dragon friends:

People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic, excitable, short-tempered, and stubborn. They are also honest, sensitive, brave, and they inspire confidence and trust. Dragon people are the most eccentric of any in the eastern zodiac. They neither borrow money nor make flowery speeches, but they tend to be soft-hearted which sometimes gives others an advantage over them. They are compatible with Rats, Snakes, Monkeys, and Roosters.

Anyway, all this hoohaa about pig babies and how easy it is to take care of a 'pig' baby ( according to my babysitter), I must admit, I am tempted to try for one, but to think that the poor overpopulated pigs are going to have a tough competition for school and many aspects that will affect their future... hmmm. Maybe not.

Toys These Days

This is probably the coolest books for dino-lovers, who are old enough to understand biology too. I grabbed this last baby on the shelf for my 7 yld old cousin who just started school, but it'll require his dad to read and explain to him though. An educational toy that also bonds parents and child! What more could you ask for...


I'm tellin ya, this book is totally biology-geek awesome. My eyes twinkled when I flipped through the pages that were actually layers of the T-Rex's anatomy all in a 3D space. Each page reveals a system (ie skeletal, cardiovascular, reproduction etc) with the corresponding organ displayed. Cool right...


His tubs of dinosaur toys cannot beat this one for sure... or am I speaking in a biology geek's point of view. Hee hee.

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle Rules The World

This may be an underrated notion. But I see it coming. Look at Hilary Clinton, she is running for the U.S presidency.
Women are realizing that they.. ahem... WE can really make this world a better place!

Unfortunately, we still live in a patriarchal world. I think civilization is evolving, always has been, but lately, I feel a storm brewing. The Stepford wives are going to wake up and clean up the morality mess!

In the context of events that has been occuring in Malaysia, or at least from what I've read in The Star papers and from 'coffee shop talks', I think the governmental and political parties lack women as part of their workforce. Women with power to do the right thing. Women with knack for details and good foresight. Women who are nurturing in nature. Women who wants a job done efficiently for the good of mankind, instead of money, status and lust. Women who are less corrupted.

I don't know but this could be just the first step to a revolution.
"...women were being appointed Village Development and Security Committees (JKKK) heads, not because there were no male candidates, but because they kept ignoring the responsibility until the post was at last handed to a woman." This is real you know... there!Lazy 'family men' a cause for concern

In the meantime, I will try my best to raise a good leader and an impeccable man. I think that's where it should all start. From the warmth and secured corners of our homes. Hmm.. maybe that's what the empowered women are doing, ie raising good children, while the men play golf and try to mess up the country. Ooops..

*aruri falls from being pelted with rotten nangka*

How To Accidently Cook a Gai Tzao (Wine Chicken)

Accidents make wonders sometimes. Look at this one.

That's not the point actually. I was preparing dinner last night, and one of my dishes was this simmered chicken in soya sauce and a bit of wine and whatever-I-can-rummage-out-of-my-super-ingredient-drawer. This recipe is courtesy of a colleague's cookingexpertmom which I modified. Now, this bottle of lovely wine, was personall made by my late mother-in-law, oh bless her, for my confinement two years ago. I think it's rice wine, and some aunts also made grape wine, right at their own kitchens! The only wine I know how to (accidently) make was forgetting to wash my rice cooker pot for 2 weeks... garnished with funguspores.

Here's how to repeat my disaster that turned out to be quite palatable:

1. Marinate chicken pieces ( I used chicken wings ) in a pinch of salt and sugar, sesame oil, soya sauce and a bit of wine in a mixing bowl, for 20 minutes if you're rushing, one whole day if you're not.

2. Crush some ginger with a pestle if you have one, or a chopper, like how Mr. YanCanCook does. With one super stroke.

3. Heat a pot, add cooking oil. Fry the ginger, then add the chicken, and continue frying for 5-10 minutes.

4. Add a bit of water, keh chi (those little almond-shaped reddish orange coloured seeds called wolfberries) and wine.

This is the part where you pretend you're going to add a bit of wine, but accidently pour out more than you want. That is how you practise agaration (agak agak la!) How? You hold the bottle of wine above the pot, tilt your wrist to pour, then as if you have wrist spasm, you jerkily twist your wrist summore. THAT is how you achieve wonders.

You may keep bottle of wine next to you while cooking, to sip if you like.

5. Simmer for another half an hour if you have time. Add more salt or wine if desired.
6. Serve with pride.

Disclaimer: Not reproducible. This is only a guideline. Keep alcohol away from children.

p/s I will take picture next time.

Namasite

I'm reading a science paper, and all of a sudden, I lose myself. I look up and I forget who I am, where I am and what I am doing here. I let go of who I love most, who I hate, what I love most, what I hate and I feel, for a brief moment, nothing. I feel nothing. Just plain nothing. How fascinating is that. It could be what they say an enlightenment.

Like when you're in a yoga pose, maybe in a rather challenging pose that you've been practising for some time, and out of nowhere, this sensation of being at ease in that pose is attained. No strain, no pain. Just at ease.

How priceless is a moment of stillness, in this life race. I had no past to haunt me, and I had no future to worry about. No opinions, no judgements, no worries.

Then I felt this urge to blog. Pooof goes my enlightened moment.

Oh, where was I on the science paper... ah yes... Introduction.

Weekend in Penang

My family and I flew to Penang to attend my cousin's wedding. Daniel flew for the first time! My first time flying too.... on AirAsia that is. Not bad I'd say! Smooth take-off and landings, nothing too dramatic for the little one to handle. And since he figured out all seatbelts work the same way more or less, he fastened his own without any introductory lessons.


The afternoon was spent eating char kuey teow, oyster omelette, penang asam laksa ( damn shiok!) and lot of lap chap side dishes... if only the hotel served those during the wedding dinner! It was so unfair at the thought that I was having typical 10 course boring dinner when I'd rather be eating those hawker food outside, and sweating and getting dirty with my hands!

Once you have a kid, every outfit you wear to weddings no matter how elegant it is, will be (un)matched with a huge toty sports/baby bag. No more glam matching clutch purses. Well, the Marry Poppins bag may be out of place, but it has everything you'll ever need to survive for 10 years in a bombshelter.


Social butterfly at work:

The Delectable Apple's iPhone

I wanted to post this yesterday when I heard the news. THE news of the millenium. THE mother of all mobilephones was born.

I knew it was going to happen someday, despite a very persistant and confident 'NO' from another die-die Mac user.

One thing Apple is very good at, and that's making us Asians hot and bothered. Aku panas! When something so irresistable like this is launched, it will only crawl to Asia's hot-sweating-hungryforthenewiphone-shore in 2008. Never mind, better still. Alpha generation.

Gawd, it looks so good, can you hear my panties drop?!! Go check it out at apple.com

Water Baby

Babies and water are like peas and carrots, burger and fries, laksa and seehum. Ecstatically inseparable. Not surprising, since they spent 9 months in it.



That's the great thing about living in undesirable hot and humid tropical weather, you get to dip in the pool anytime you want!

What I heard on the radio today:
This navy leader from Singapore was among the chosen ones to participate in a sail on a replica of the ship seen in the movie The Master and Commander (the one starring Russell Crowe, and a cute little boy had to amputate his arm, remember?). He shared one of his most memorable moments.
" There was this night when the storm was very heavy, and the crew had to climb the rig to pull the sail down due to the strong winds. One crew member puked at another member's face. But the crew is very understanding, even when you puke at each other's face, they don't complain"

So it's ok to puke at each other's face when the weather is bad.

Sharon Tan's Wedding & My First Day Perm

Our flawless-complexion Convent classmate Sharon Tan finally tied the knot with long-time beau Ping Long, Tingkatan Enam STPM schoomate. There were people I have not seen for 12 years! The last time I saw some of the Convent girls, we were all wearing pinafores. But the familiar faces brought back the good 'ol nostaligic days again.

I wished I had taken more pictures if Daniel hadn't hogged my camera, especially of my Sixth Form classmates.

From left: Me and Daniel, Sharon the bride, Chui Ling, Siew Lee and her son.




From left: Me&Daniel, Su San, Sharon, Chui Ling (sitting), Queenie, Anna and Ai Ping.


Couple of the hour.


Now, what you didn't know was... I permed my hair that very day. And I'm talking about big glam curls. It's just ingeniusly hidden as a pony-tail.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sure, I'll show you. Me.Poodle.You.Laugh.


Do I or do I not look like a Korean housewife. Now I understand, boredom breeds disaster. In the meantime, these tight curls are going to loosen up and become softer and look more natural ( by Chinese New Year, according to my friendly neighbourhood hairdresser) which by then might make me look like a Korean mistress! We'll see...

Blog-Deprived

I gave up blogging since last Tuesday. Super-slow connection I think is equivalent to no connection at all! I can't help wondering if the end of the world is indeed looming near. Natural disasters are increasingly fiercer and weather is becoming strange sometimes. Who would imagine a small town like Kota Tinggi flooded like this.


Poor mom, lamenting that natural disasters have been occuring during her birthdays, tsunami being the worst. But that didn't stop me from whisking her off to the new largest mall in Singapore called VivoCity.


It was huge alright. For the first time in many many years, I shopped ( and window-shopped ) for 10 hours non-stop!! Amazingly, I wasn't tired! Well, not that amazing really, because the little monkey wasn't with me... hee hee. But everytime I see other kids his age, I just miss him so much. My mom is also quite 'geng' hor!

We headed to Food Republic for lunch first before embarking on our fiery shopping spree. Food Republic is the new-ish modern food court concept where all the best food stalls/signature dishes in Singapore are housed together.


I must say that the design was incredible. The entire place was made of old antique-ish furnitures and decors from the past century, and brightened up with modern contemporary Victorian-styled lights and shades. There was even this whole line of old wooden doors! You may still be able to see these kind of doors on old colonial buildings or row of old houses in places like Malacca. How nostalgic!


My mom saw this Thunder Tea rice and told me it's a traditional Hakka dish.

She says "Girl!! You married a Hakka and you don't know ah?!! Get a set and learn how to cook it"

Stunned.

This is how it looks like before you pour the bowl of the Hulk green basil leave sauce into the bowl and mix it real good.

As you can see, it's made of taufu, long beans, some green leafy vege, fried anchovies and peanuts. Looks weird. But surprisingly, it taste good!


Not going to show our shopping bags (mostly hers). Scary.

The wonderful experience ended with a hot spicy dinner at a Thai restaurant. There's my contented mother.

Viva Monsoon

It has been raining for the past TWO days, NON-STOP. Serious.

Johor Bahru is a wet wet city of potholes, flood and supa-dupa traffic jams. Fun and laughter for everyone. Here's a tribute to one of Paul's colleague who left Taman Century at 7.45am for work, and arrived at Taman Molek..........at 1.30pm !!! (it's a supposedly 20-30 min drive) Damn jia lat. Damn miserable.

Finally, the rain stopped this morning, and the sun is out! And my table is filled with chocolates! SO happy.

An Open Letter to the PM

An open letter to the PM
by Jacqueline Ann Surin

Dear Prime Minister Abdullah, When you first came into power after the 2004 general election, you promised us that you would be prime minister for all Malaysians.

In fact, I still have the letter you sent out to voters before the elections that promised you would fulfill your duties with sincerity, integrity, efficiency and fairness.

It was a letter that moved people, including staunch Opposition supporters.

There was hope that a new leadership which was more conciliatory, more willing to listen to differing views and more just was in store for the country.

And people invested in that hope by voting the Barisan Nasional back into power with a clear majority.

But recent events, including your administration's reactions to these events, have been deeply troubling.

The most recent has been the disruption of a peaceful and legitimate public forum in Penang organised by a group of non-governmental organisations that wanted to help people reclaim their rights under the Federal Constitution.

It was unfortunate, but really no longer inconceivable, that those who opposed such a civil discussion should frame their opposition in ways that incite hostility, threaten violence and make false accusations in the name of Islam, a religion that in fact promotes peace and justice.

What is actually more troubling is that as prime minister, you have also publicly announced that these issues of Constitutional rights are "sensitive" and the organisers of such events must be careful not to tread on "dangerous ground", lest the government has to use the Sedition Act against them.

Why would you lend legitimacy to the argument that Malaysians should steer clear of discussing issues which affect us all as citizens, whether Muslim or non-Muslim?

By continuously telling Malaysians these issues are "sensitive" and "dangerous", isn't your administration really creating a self-fulfilling prophecy? Aren't you in fact supporting the argument that these issues should not be discussed?

Additionally, Malaysians have been reminded by Minister in the Prime Minister's Department Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz that it's not for no reason that the word "amok" comes from the Malay community.

Non-Muslims - and that easily translates to non-Malays in this country - are told we cannot speak out about the way Islam is used to formulate laws and public policies in this country even though they affect all of us.

We are told that not just the Sedition Act can be used, so can the Internal Security Act which allows for detention without trial.

In fact, I found it deeply paradoxical that Nazri could repeat the threat of the ISA at an international meeting of experts on Islam and human rights last month.

How can an unjust law be Islamic? We know it cannot, and yet, it would seem your administration is wielding it as a way to silence citizens in a democracy.

The way I see it, naming something "sensitive" and "dangerous" is just a disingenuous way of saying, "This is not open for dialogue and discussion. We might tolerate your views but only to a certain extent."

What that extent is, is left to be seen. We hope your election promises will be kept for all Malaysians, but really, many of us are more fearful than reassured.

From a non-Muslim perspective, the events leading up to the need for public discussions such as the Article 11 forum in Penang, have been disconcerting and troubling.

The painful injustice suffered by S. Shamala who found that her estranged husband could unilaterally convert their children to Islam, and the widow of M. Moorthy who discovered she could not bury her husband according to Hindu rights, are real and frightening.

But those instances of injustice are not being framed as "sensitive" by non-Muslims. They are not being used to threaten violence or incite hostility in order to silence discussion of the issues at hand.

Additionally, when you upheld the decision for the tudung to be used in police parades, did you consider how it would make non-Muslims feel? How can it still be a surprise then that most non-Malays will not join the police force?

Really, I don't need to be a Muslim or a Malay to have a stake in this country. But even that might be delegitimised because in more ways than one, I'm a minority.

And I'm constantly reminded that my views and concerns must give way to the privileges and rights of the dominant race, and a specific interpretation of the faith they profess.

But really what I want to ask you is this: Why do I have to constantly feel afraid in my own country? Why am I continuously told I have less rights to discuss important issues affecting my community?

You promised to be prime minister for all Malaysians. We hope you will remember that promise.

A Malaysian citizen.

Jacqueline Ann Surin believes that you cannot be neutral on a moving train. She is an assistant news editor at theSun.

Life's Lesson

This is one of those forwarded send-this-to-10-people mails that you probably read before, but the most meaningful one I find.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

We conquered outer space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

Xiu Ye Tzai

Got him a man's man pajamas. Look so xiu-ye ( young master of a rich and influential household in typical olden Chinese soap opera)



The hubbie will be spending half his time in KL from next month onwards, having been assigned some projects over there, in which his performance will be heavily evaluated by his superiors and peers to determine if he'll be the right person to fill in the position of a manager. It will be a rather stressful few-months period, not to mention tiring, as he will be travelling to and fro. But this is a golden opportunity that he has been waiting for, and I support him all the way.

So IF he does get the big seat, I'll be packing my bags too.

I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm happy. I'm sad.

To leave my comfort zone and land myself in uncertainty is definitely mind-boggling. But I will have to do it. KL is a place I wished to live in, 5 years ago. In my impression, it's a haven for young hot clubbin', minglin' singles. Maybe it is a good place to raise a family, I don't know, but I saw a glitter of hope when recently in the papers, the Sultan of Selangor says he envisions Selangor to be a dream state for every resident who wants development and loves peace. His Majesty's Vision*fingers crossed*

I worry for Daniel and his generation's future in Malaysia. There are so many factors arising recently that make me doubt about our nation's stability and development 10 years from now. Is Daniel going to be safe here? Will he get the opportunity to develop himself fully to be a good person? Will the education system improve with time? Are the leaders in the government going to be fair? We'll never know. But I hope they know the people are getting smarter and won't tolerate stupidity and injustice. Talk about those useless manipulative unscrupulous money&power-hungry politians can vomit blood.

Oop, sidetracked there a little.

SO. Right now and all along, the hubbie has ample time for himself which he spends mostly on golf. Me on the other hand, have 15 minutes a day for myself which is spent showering and applying lotion on my body ( doesn't take long, as surface area is small ).

I start to imagine a reversed fate. I look forward to better times.

Bollywood Night

T'was my company's D&D last Friday and Bollywood t'was the theme.

I made myself a choli, which is a top worn with saree or long skirt according to traditional Indian costume. Unfortunately, I did not take pictures of the process because my camera was out of orbit then, which would've been quite interesting to see. I cut out an old red T-shirt and sewed sequins and silver borders all around...and wa la!


I spent about 5 hours in total and S$15 on my choli that won me The Sexiest Award! Had to work for the prize leh. Anyway, the prize money will probably be spent on diapers. Or... maybe not...heheh.

As usual, the event was made even more fun with individuals who dared to dream and make it a reality.

I hope he hadn't gone ALL the way.... to Dr. Ragu's Indian Vulva Design Clinic at Homo Sutra Complex.

Me and my wonderful colleagues who have become like one big happy family.


That's it for pictures from my strange camera that worked after I pressed a few buttons like crazy. Will post more if there are good pictures from other cameras.

Vanakkam!

Just some pictures

Both pics below taken with phone camera. Quality of pictures is proportionate to light.

When mothers are judged

Recently, I have this feeling that some of my friends are judging me as a mother. A working mother.

No doctors, experts, baby books or bible have ever discriminated against moms who chose to work. But yet I feel discriminated by my own friends. Or maybe it's just me being over sensitive.

It was never an easy decision to go back to work, believe me. It is a constant battle of guilt and deliberation, but I decided to take it in stride, to be strong and to exploit the pros.

Every mother-child relationship is uniquely different and in many ways, instinctive. No outsider can feel what you feel towards your own precious one, even when that outsider is a mother herself. My decision to work is based on those instincts and also my environment.

Where I am now, working moms are aplenty. Two of my neighbours and a lady who works in the sundry shop around my place, have their babies whisked off 300km away to be cared by the (babies') grannies, and could only meet once a month or so. My babysitter used to care for two kids whose mom worked in KL. Heck, even Paul himself was under his grandma's care in Ipoh while his parents worked in Singapore. I am not debating or justifying anything, but merely stating facts that are common here.

While it helps that there are many experienced, reliable and reasonably-priced babysitters in every neighbourhood whom we affectionately call "Auntie", factors like increasing cost of living (we're talking about Johor Bahru which is literally inlfuenced by Singapore whether you like it or not) , having to support aging parents as an only child( are you giving your mom and dad allowances?)and expensive medical care ( did you have to pay RM10,000 for having a baby?), no wonder everybody agrees that you cannot survive with single income. This is the kind of environment that compels you to do the right and wrong thing.

When I am with my baby, I am completely his. My time with him is filled with my reserved energy, fun and quality play. My life is in moderation and I am happy with the way things are now. I am a mom, and I have my professional and social life too. And I am financially capable of providing my family with the best, without having the hubbie to carry the burden all by himself, and that makes him less stressful and a happIER man. Most importantly, my happy baby loves me as much.

I believe everything happens for a reason and it happens when the time is right. Maybe I'll have the chance one day to be a stay home mom, I mean who wouldn't want that right?

When Apple Rules the World

Pulled this out of a website sent by a friend. H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.

"What does it mean when you really, really want to lick a new MacBook, and swoon?

I have right here in my hot little hands that actually aren't all that little and are only slightly warm at the moment a brand new lick-ready smooth-as-love Apple MacBook Core 2 Duo Super Orgasm Deluxe Ultrahard Modern Computing Device Designed by God Herself Somewhere in the Deep Moist Vulva of Cupertino Yes Yes Don't Stop Oh My God Yes.
I believe that is the actual name of the product. I might be wrong. I do not really care.

This machine, this silky hunk of aluminum and wire and divine Chinese factory-made love, was recently delivered into my hands by a squad of naked cooing angels who all happened to look exactly like Jenna Jameson or perhaps Eva Green and who also gave me a free foot massage and four hits of premium Ecstasy and a complimentary 3-hour tongue bath, all at the same time".

Hmm... I think that's what happened to me when I received my love machine too.

Romance Never Dies

On our first anniversary, the hubbie made me cry. He remembered, but lacked the planning effort to romance his *fantabulous* wife. His contingency plan included a sobbing wife in the nearest cozy little steakhouse he could find, which he claimed made him felt like the worst man on earth. Thanks for screwing up our first anniversary which I happened to place an utermost importance on. But the best thing about feeling hurt a few hours is the days and days of apologetic affectionate stunts that followed and the joy of smirking.

This year, his beloved mother left us, on our anniversary. I've cried on my anniversaries consecutively. How cool is that. There was a moment when I felt angry. From now on, a supposedly happy day filled with warm loving memorable thoughts will always be shared along with sad ones. Sigh, call me a perfectionist.

Last night, the hubbie made me smile. I came home to a pleasant surprise in the form of a dinner-for-two lamb chops.



Actually, the sweet juicy honey tomatoes made me smile.

Maternal Instinct & Reaction

On one of the days during my MIL's wake, I demonstrated a mere maternal instintive reaction that was deemed negatively by my sis-in-law, H, who loves kids but does not have her own yet.

The baby and I, hubbie, H and her bf were at the table, just chilling out and snacking, when I noticed Daniel holding a small clear bottle containing a few tablets that was my father-in-law medication. He was screwing and unscrewing the cap, like he usually does with anything screwable. THEN, to my horror, I saw his mouth moving as if he was chewing on something. At that time, he also had swollen and sore gums, of which could be the reason he was trying to sooth himself by moving his tongue around in his mouth.

Now, if he was your flesh and blood, what is your first reaction?

Like duh... search his mouth right? I bloody know for sure that I did it as gently and swiftly as I could because of the fact he was having a sore mouth too. But the essential life-or-death point was to ensure he had not swallowed any of the pills. NEVER ever underestimate what adult medication can do to a small child.

So, our lovely H commented that I gave him a big scare. Maybe I did shocked the little one, who wailed after my finger-sweep-in-the-mouth stunt, but HELLO? Did I not mention life and DEATH consequences? And by the way, during the wake for 3 days, Daniel was not himself, he became this totally different baby who wails even when you make funny faces at him. So, as expected, he would definitely wail after my good-intention act of love.

There was a hint of insult that I did something wrong to my child, like I don't know how to be a mother. Like I scared him intentionally. Like I enjoyed it. F.

What's worse than being judged by other mothers? Being judged by a NON-mother. F.

Being a gracious person, I soon forgotten about it, until last weekend. When I arrived home (Seremban),

FIL: How is Daniel? Is he OK now?
Me: Yes, better and back to his usual happy self.
FIL: That's good. He must've been disturbed a lot during the commotion last week.

H: Ya la! Frightened him summore by 'korek-ing' his mouth!
Me: (Super-stunned and silent)

I never did managed to regain my composure to defend myself. I was literally on fire. I MUST BE THE DUMBEST MOTHERLY ASS ON EARTH.

Again, being the dumbest gracious person, I dimissed it and didn't have any grudge towards her at the end of that day.

I hope some day, when she brings it up again, I will be calm enough to stun her the way she stunned me.

I also believe that what goes round, comes around.

My New Toy

Nothings beats a sleek, shiny, spanking new Macbook, armed with 2GHz Intel Core 2 Duo, 1GB RAM, 80GB space available for my porn collection,Superdrive for me to burn my porn collection to DVDs or CDs, and in-built Bluetooth and Airport Extreme for wireless networking.


Photo Booth is one of the new feature which vain people will absolutely love. Unfortunately, I'm not... THAT vain. But it is a load of fun I tell ya. There's some little holes above the monitor/screen if you zoom in to the Macbook, and that's iSight which is like a webcam. What's fun about Photo Booth is, that it not only allows self-potrait, it has got all these fun effects that you can view as you pose!
Mirror effect
Pencil Sketch efect

Fun stuff aside, I am actually using it for work. Faster speed, enhanced performance means a more enjoyable experience with data analysis.
Mummy doesn't want to play with me anymore. SABOTAGE MACBOOK!!

The Hakka Funeral

This is the most elaborate traditional ritual I've ever been involved in, more dramatic than my Cantonese grandfather's wake several years ago. Amidst the chantings and kow-towing, I was fascinated at how rich our Chinese traditions are and how lost I was during the entire event.

Firstly, let me say that this post is mostly for educational purposes rather than entertainment or intentions of mockery.

The ritual took 3 days. 3 days of hustle bustle in a home full of relatives and friends... and a toddler who became my worst nightmare. Daniel ( and mummy indirectly ) suffered from anxiety attacks, exhaustion, sleep deprivation, mouth ulcers and on-off fevers. He became this totally different being I knew... insecure, unhappy and very disturbed. The only way I could get him to nap during the busy day, was cuddling and walking. And he'd wake up crying a few times during the nights as well. Poor boy.

So, apart from the typical sessions of 'sitting-in' while the priests chants and strikes his cymbals, there were several interesting rituals, some of which are rather hilarious. The entire ritual was conducted in the Hakka dialect which was foreign to me, so all I did was follow what Paul and my sis-in-law did. Though I couldn't understand what the priest said and did all the time, I kinda gather what the purpose was. I presume we were paying respect to the many Gods and celestial powers to bless and guide her spirit into the kingdom of heaven.

Two sand-dragon was made side by side, outside of the house, with a large bowl of oil in the middle and burning 'hell papers' beneath it. In front of the dragons' heads is a circular sand-platform scattered with coins. Two priests chant and walk around the formation chinese-opera style. And in between their melodic chants, the bowl of oil is lit up in a flame that reached the nightsky. We were then asked to pick up as many coins as we can on that sandy platform. That represents the wealth we gathered.

Here comes the comical relief. The priest had to 'bless' the paper house, paper car, paper maid and butler and paper driver to be burnt for her. Paul, being the eldest son, had to negotiate a 'salary' for the celestial maid, butler and driver. Here is what took place (in Hakka):

Priest: How many jossticks for maids... 2, 3 or 4?
Paul: 3
Priest: (tosses his holy blocks for indicative yes or no) .... Not enough
At this point, the crowd burst into laughter.
Paul: 4 sticks
Priest: (tosses his holy blocks again) OK
Crowd still laughing.
Priest: How much for bonus?
Paul: 13 month
Priest: (tosses his holy blocks again) OK

Talk about globalization and modernity.

I can't really remember the rest of the ceremony from then on, but it did came to a part where we stood around her coffin to see her for the last time and say goodbye. That was when it hit us hard. This is it. For real.

We proceeded to the gravesite which was a 15 minute drive or so. Along the way on public road, the priest flings 'hell papers' up in the air. It reminds me very much of Tsui Hark film scenes... hauntingly abstract. Standing on freshly dug soil, we paid our last respect. Rice and coins were thrown at us. And the rice is to be mixed with our existing rice supply at home. The coins are wealth blessed by her spirit. And that wraps it up.

I still think she's not gone.... just absent.

May her soul rest in peace.

A Tribute To My Mother-In-Law

My beloved MIL drew her last breath last Tuesday. I'm still not used to the fact that she's no longer around. We were still hopeful when she stabilized after a marathon of organ failure complications, but I guess we were fooled. She is gone now, forever and will be deeply missed.

It is going to be very hard for my father-in-law, because my MIL literally did everything for him. In fact, the entire house just remind us of her because she manages everything, from the kitchen to the praying altar. This is the woman who worked her entire life, for her children, for her husband, for her home. And it's so unfair that she had to leave without having the chance to enjoy her golden years. On the brighter side, she had the chance to see her first grandchild.

The wake lasted for 3 days and was based on the traditions of the Hakka Chinese, the first I've ever seen and it left a deep impression on me, most of which are rather hilarious.

Still can't believe it.

NO-INTERNET-ACCESS-CAN-DIE-WAN-LOR

It felt like a lifetime since I touched My Preeeccioouuus (my ibook, not something else of the place-the-sun-never-shines kind).
The latest cause of death is: Denied of Internet Access

The words death and die are very sensitive lately. Some people don't like to say those words at all, they always substitute it as "If SOMETHING happens to him/her" or "If he/she... *silence and the you-know-what-i'm-trying-to-say look*" It's like a taboo, if you say the word, it'll happen! Or maybe it just hurts a lot to associate death and a loved one.

First of, my MIL's condition is under control. There were many challenges and hurdles that kept coming the past few days that it seemed like the end was coming. But fortunately, she fought on. Lupus is one of those rare condition that you hardly hear of, but if you have it, treat it VERY seriously. Like heart disease, it is a silent killer, because there is no apparent signs until it hits your kidneys and lungs, the two most commonly affected major organs. At the initial stage, lupus may manifest itself as arthritis-like symptoms, aches and joint pains that may be thought as unevitable old-age condition. And if left untreated, it can lead to many complications, kidney failure being one of them. Bad news to women, 99% of lupus cases are usually suffered by women.

When I was stepping into the Hospital Tuanku Jaafar in Seremban for the first time, I felt nervous, like the time I had to sit for my ABRSM piano examinations, or the time I was waiting in the labour room for The Moment. I was preparing myself of what I was about to see. I had to control my emotions. I was imagining a typical ICU scene like those you see on TV, and trying to make it as dramatic as possible so that when I do see the real thing, it won't feel so bad. Also, another thing was the smell. The smell of a hospital. The horrid smell of pain and sorrow.

I almost burst into tears when I held her cold swollen hand. This is something you don't ever want to see happening to your loved ones and friends. Ever.

It was a rather painful and scary sight. And it's very real. There's literally tubes everywhere, and I don't think I'll describe in detail here. The first thought was "How the hell did it get so bad like this". The other patients in the ICU are either major accident or cancer cases, but lupus?! So like I said, treat it VERY seriously. She was given sedatives as a normal procedure for using the ventilator/respirator machine, so most of the time, she is 'sleeping'. But we were encouraged to talk to her because she could still hear. Isn't the brain an amazing organ or what? I once heard somewhere that there are 7 levels of consciousness. I am probably at level 1 because I don't know what I'm doing most of the time!!

I chatted and sang to her, rubbed her feet and watched her vital readings. Usually after 10 minutes or so, the nurse reminds visitors to keep to the visiting time limit. That was all we could do. In and out we went, taking turns to watch her, the entire day. And Daniel could only hang out at the corridor outside the ICU because misi said "Ini budak kechik tak boleh masuk ya"

Daniel was there as a hugging cushion. This was the time everyone needed a hug or something to rest their weary head on, or just someone to kiss and coo. He also took away their worries and painful thoughts now and then. This is the joy a child brings to the world. That same evening, he whacked my knee with a cane accidently, that resulted in a painful swollen knee for 2 days. Oh yes, painful swollen unbendable knee+squat toilet=M I S E R A B L E urine-shooting-everywhere encounters.
I should've taken a picture to show you how bad it was... but nothing could be as bad as what my MIL is going through now. So I'm not going to be a crybaby.

I cooked dinner on two consecutive nights. I used her kitchen like it was my own, for the first time. But I can never replace its mistress. The soup I make is never as good as hers. Nothing I do will be the same as the way she does them. Well, this is what I think my father-in-law probably thinks. But I held my head high, and I served my dishes with pride.

To be continued...