Sunday, December 05, 2021

New chapter

I made a decision, so major that I didn't know how to start this post. 

I have resigned! I have resigned from my job in Singapore. I have finally taken the big big leap.
That leap I was contemplating for the longest time.

It's funny how the heart really knows what you want. I remember an immense feeling of peace came over me when the decision was made. I believe it was also the peace God gave me after answering my constant prayers.

My roller coaster ride began in September. In fact, I think it already began when Malaysia imposed the lockdown in March 2020. The day before it, I said goodbye to my boss and colleagues, the temporary kind, thinking it was going to be just a week or two maybe. From then, I was working remotely in JB, doing whatever I can online. But deep down, I was feeling bad. My primary role required me to be IN the lab, preparing samples, supporting all the experiments of my colleagues projects, learning new lab skills etc. So I geared myself towards learning new softwares, proposing targets for the first time, keeping up with presentations and willingly taking on any administrative processes that my team needs. 

Along the year of 2020 and beginning of 2021, I had actually asked my boss if I should leave as the border was closed for too long and the uncertainties were increasing, but he kept saying it was fine and not to worry about it. But my stress and guilt were growing and eating me. I wasn't at peace.

Then one day, my boss told me that his boss, and his boss's boss have 'raised a concern' on the team's bandwidth. They needed more hands. With that and the border uncertainties, I was given an option to enter and stay in Singapore, or....

I already knew my decision. And for the first time in a long time, I felt something heavy was lifted off my heart. But of course, there was still some room for second thoughts. Are you sure you want to leave a good company?Are you sure you can give up the SGD?

A lot of are you sure questions that week.

I work in Singapore for my family, and I gave up my job in Singapore also for my family.

For whatever reason, I believe God will lead the way for me and open many more doors for me here in JB where I can finally feel like I really belong to. I'm scared but excited. But more excited!

Looking forward to blog more consistently xoxo (aiyaiyai Ally you gonna jinx this up?)