Recent Achievements

Quote of the day: Planning for happiness is rarely successful. Happiness just happens. - Robert Half.
The morning look.

I really love my beanbag. It hugs you. It makes you sink deeper and makes it harder to get up. I should replace the couch with beanbags. Guests who visit will sit on beanbags. Two people can even share a beanbag. Hmmm... on second thoughts, my aging mom and dad might not be able to get up. But that's ok, they can sit on the rocking chair and eat biscuits.

The breakfast on the floor.

This was taken after we came back from our first childcare trial (previous post). Did I mention I washed his hands twice, with dettol handwash? I'm getting paranoid aren't I.

My favourite mascara. Loreal's Double Extension with Fortifying Base Coat and Ultra-Lengthening Mascara.

It's free. Courtesy of hubbie who attended Guardian fair, and brought back a truckload of bodycare goodies. He even bodek some promoters for some trial packs of Clinique 3-step facecare... for HIMSELF. That vainpot.

My wedding studio scrappages.






The attention is on the paper's design. I mean who cares about the bride and groom right.

Other scrapbook layout I managed to complete these past few weeks.










I just can't get enough of it.

Barney Overdose

I bought 3 Barney VCDs, and a Sesame Street All-Star Alphabet, and I gotta tell you, as a 30 year-old adult, I enjoyed the Sesame Street immensely. I was dancin' and groovin' along!! I love Sesame Street! It's so entertaining!

I wished the childcare class was as fun as Barney's learning sessions. Yesterday, I was on leave and had too much time on my hands, so I took the little rascal to his first and LAST day at the childcare centre. Actually, we only spent an hour in class. Daniel liked it. I didn't. It's called being-a-fussy-adult syndrome.

SO. We went to look for the principal, but she wasn't in yet ( 9am already lor ). So, a kind teacher led me to the childcare class to sit in for a while and to observe.

There were about 20 kids, and 4 teachers/assistants. A Chinese lady/'auntie' was teaching simple Chinese characters and how to write the Chinese strokes. She wasn't very ...eerrrm, I would say, kid-friendly. Maybe I watch too much Barney. I think a teacher who teaches kids have to make the lessons interesting in a kiddy way, like when you speak, you gotta have enthusiasm, and be animated. But the teachers in there seems 'detached', like they were teaching for the sake of working. I understand being a kindergarten teacher is exhausting. And maybe I'm asking for too much.

Daniel thinks he's the class monitor. He 'tegur' a budak who wasn't paying attention in class. Taiko betul.

Seriously, it was a boring class to me. And it was class of GERMS. I don't even want to talk about that.

So we left. The principal was busy anyway.

I went to another house-converted-to-mini-childcare-centre. It's called Hi-Five. Cool, I thought. Maybe it's as fun as Hi-Five.

I peered through the living room window and I saw new-ish colourful children's furniture. Good start, I thought. I peered through another window to see if there was any adult I could talk to. I saw a group of children, 5 kids, about 4-5 year olds, sitting on the marble floor in a circle, playing with something. It was quiet. It was unbelievable. I've never seen a QUIET group of kids! Daniel would disrupt this peace-loving little community. So, I saved them. I walked away.

We went home and spend the rest of the day at Barney and Ally's little childcarelove centre. It's called home. It's the best.

I know someday I will have to let go.

Stinky Cuttlefish Overdose

Quote of the day: “If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” -Bette Davis


My mouth stinks. I ate too much crispy sotong. Oh-so-good.

It's been raining everyday. Is it the curse of Rihanna's over-played song 'Umbrella" -ella -ella -ella?
No kidding. It's either heavy clouds, dark clouds or rain. I'm getting seasonally depressed. I need SUN. I need to photosynthesize big-time.

My blessed weekend was as usual, filled with excitement of going to the market, cooking meals and playing with the terrorist. I couldn't scrapbook because I slept whenever I could. Thank goodness, hubbie is around to keep the little one busy, but it's fair I guess since I had my share of single-parent moments.

I bought a bean bag cover and 8 bags (adult pillow size) of foam beads to fill it. Daniel loves it so much, he keeps diving into it. Hubbie and I love it too, we 'christened' it last night.

***
If I was the teacher reading this, I'd die rolling on the floor. I'd probably give him markah 95 before I die. Kids these days huh, evil humour. (Click on image to get enlarged version. For those who totally cannot read his handwriting or don't understand what the hell he is writing, just tell me, I will translate)

Where Do All The Mooncake Tins End Up?

Marriage quote of the day: "I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."

For dog lovers and owners out there, you probably know this. Apparently, this is one of dog's favourite chew thingy.


GROSS!! Yikeeeewwwwwgross!

PIG EAR. The latest canine rave. I heard there is also cow's ear.

***

I have this thing bugging me for some time now, it's one of those 'awakening' that gradually grows on you. Like a resolution, an answer to all the questions you've been asking yourself, the answer to all the anger and frustrations you felt.

Everyday, I think of this. A life of simple things. A life back to basics. A life based on needs, not wants.

I feel I've had enough of this fast-moving, money-hoarding, time-chasing, shopping-frenzy, tired tired tired kind of life.

I want to minimize. Desire less, buy less, need less, WASTE less. I'm tired of choosing. There are too many brands and variety of products in the market today, from everything under the sun. Spoilt for choices aren't we. Choosing is tiring. I think shopping is mentally draining because you have to make choices and decisions all the time.

I want to slow down. And smell the roses. Just sitting by the porch, feeling the breeze, listening to the windchimes, and being thankful.

At this point, I feel I have everything, if not, more than enough. And I want to stop here, and enjoy what I have.

***

Here's a good story.

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,
"Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one, and the holy man
looked into a room with a large round table in the middle. In the
center, on the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled so delicious
it made the holy man's mouth water. Yet, the people sitting around the
table were thin, sickly, and appeared famished. They were holding spoons
with very long handles strapped to their arms. Each found they could
reach into the stew-pot and take a spoonful, but with the handle longer
than their arms, they could not get the spoons close to their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering and
the Lord said, "You have seen Hell."

He then opened the second door. The room was exactly as the first one,
with the large round table and large pot of stew, again making the holy
man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons
strapped to their arms, but here the people were well nourished, plump,
laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don't understand."

It is simple," said the Lord, "and requires but one skill. As you see,
they have learned to feed each other, while the selfish think only of
themselves."

***

SuperJaded

Marriage joke of the day: "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to
a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."(Henry Youngman)


I did it again. I jam-packed our weekend with things to see, touch and remember. Why do I do this when hubbie not around? I try to be Supermom and Superdaughter and now that made me Superjaded.

On Saturday morning, after hubbie left for KL, I thought, since we're up this early, might as well see some animals. So off we went! The Saturday morning causeway jam was quite alright, maybe half an hour. Then it only took us 10 minutes to reach the Mandai Zoo after clearing the Singapore customs. I must admit, I was more excited than he was! I can say that it's the first for the both of us. I've never felt so bonded with him!

We took tram rides from one stop to another to catch the different 'animal kingdoms' and some animal shows.



We managed to catch a bit of the Splash showtime, which featured tricks-performing seals, which was so crowded. I actually had to carry him high enough to see the show, for a whole 15 minutes. Ouch, my arms. Then off we went to catch the elephant show. Honestly, as an adult, even for the first time there after 5 years, the show was rather boring. Maybe it's because elephants move slowly. A bit draggy la you know. But nonetheless, the little one was fascinated, especially when the elephants 'blew' water into the audience.


You can tell he is concentrating on the elephants' slow motion movements.




White tiger. BEAUTIFUL. Two sleeping. One pacing up and down. Picture a bit low standard. Hands a bit shaking. Daniel is not light.


I told him to stand there, in the sun, for this shot. He obediently walked to that spot. He look pitiful. Ha ha ha.


It was pretty surreal for him, I can imagine. I guess it's like knowing that The Matrix exists. All this while, he sees his animal toys, he sees the animals on TV, and then, one day, Mommy brought him to see the real animals upclose. I'm glad we made this trip. I decided not to complete the entire trail though, because it would be tiring, and I had already set my mind on this trip being the 'introductory'trip for him. We'll save the rest of the trail with papa. And then, we'll do the Night Safari!

It was a good thing I made the trip short and sweet, so that we'd still have energy for the well-deserved Ben & Jerry's ice cream! He wallop the whole cup, and some of mine. That parasite.


For the rest of the weekend, I split it into 3, for my dad, my grandma+uncle+auntie+7yearsoldIvan, and of course who can forget my mommy dearest.

THAT is why I'm so jaded today.

"Yoyee"

Marriage joke of the day: "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." (Rodney Dangerfield).

My boy, that clown, said "Yoyee" to me, because he broke a baby einstein DVD, and I was mad at him, and he cannot pronounce 'S' and 'R' yet. Oh, that sad puppy eyes he had. Then he wants to hug me. So cute.

It rained the whole afternoon yesterday, which is perfect for napping, and we all did, Paul, Daniel and I. For 3 hours plus. A quiet home, with only the sound of rain outside. A still home. No loud TV, no banging and clattering of toys, no screaming toddler, no movements, nothing. Pure peace. It's funny how parenthood makes you appreciate every moment of such rarity.

We were still bright-eyed wide awake at 11pm that night. Hahahahha.

On that same day (apologies for the poor sequence), we brought him to the children's clinic for him long-overdue influenza and polio booster jab. This time, he cried for 5 seconds. Before our turn ( wow, great sequence here!), we waited for slightly more than an hour which is quite the norm due to the number of little patients, on a Sunday. The clinic is closed on Saturdays, hence the crowd on Sundays. So, what people usually do, is get to the clinic to register your little patient's name as soon as you wake up, then go for breakfast around that area, and come back to wait.

That clinic's waiting area was filled with what could be possibly 20 plus people. All waiting. Very normal in that particular clinic. There was this Malay family, the kid maybe 3 to 4 yrs old had a kool-aid pad stuck to his forehead, and was walking around and looked quite alert, like a normal kid la you know. They have been waiting as well.

The Grandpa, who looks like the fatter version of Gandalf, maybe more of the Royalty look, came up to the counter and asked in a commanding tone, "What is taking so long? We came here 2 hours ago, and you said there were 6 patients more, so we decided to wait. But it's been 2 hours!". He looked intimidating even without speaking.

The receptionist nurse explained that there was one emergency case that was allowed to cut queue, and ONLY one. The rest are all according to appropriate sequence. I might've thought it was their first time in that clinic, because it IS possible to wait that long especially when it was as crowded as that day. Summore, I think they didn't go for breakfast la, just waited in the clinic.

Then, The Gandalf kept quiet, and continued staring at the busy receptionist, giving the intimidating look.

Names after names was called but it still wasn't their turn. I understand how that feels.

Then the whole family, the very mad mother, the kool-aid kid, the appeasing grandma and Gandalf, all at the counter with the mad mother raising her voice to the receptionist.

The receptionist could only repeat what she had explained earlier. Then the mad mother yelled, "SO, WHAT QUALIFIES AS AN EMERGENCY CASE HERE, HUH? HUH?! IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MY SON, YOU WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE!"

Then they left. Gandalf left his intimidating message in the Menteri Besar style. "You better be careful you know".

Please, don't do anything to my favourite paed!

What a comotion. I'm sure every adult in that clinic heard it. But surprisingly, the children were still rather oblivious to what happened. Nobody cried or became scared. It wasn't as if the whole clinic suddenly became silent, as the children were still running around. Daniel was watching his baby einstein on Paul's phone the entire time, and we were just in front of that angry family. Is there something wrong with the children? Or just naive?

Also, at this point, I conclude that I cannot be a receptionist. This would've been my answer. "Is this your first time here? This is the normal waiting period on Sundays. I am going according to the list here, first come first serve. If you think that your child needs an emergency medical attention, why didn't you say so?" Man, I would cause that clinic or ANY businesses to close down. I'm not very unreasonable-client friendly am I.

That's my exciting out of this world weekend. How about yours?

China, The Big Fat Lying Giant

I can assure you, right now, every mother in the world is cursing China.

When it comes to our children, we will curse anything that harms them. I'm sure as I type this, someone somewhere is setting up an activist group to tell the world about China's little or lack of human rights. Just as my friend, Angeline has mentioned in her blog.

Although I don't own any of the toys in the list released by Mattel, but it's enough to set an alarm on the fact that I have bought MANY other toys that are made in China. Cheaper ones even!! And I bet those are even more dangerous since it's not an international brand, thus lacking global standards in child safety in toy manufacturing practice.

From now on, I am boycotting all products made in China, directly or indirectly ( even clothes made of fabrics from China). Those bastards need to wake up and learn that money isn't always everything. Those money-faced, corrupted fuckheads.

So, what do I do now? Get Daniel to have a full body toxicology test? It's useless. Whatever that's in his body, is already in his body. Some chemicals are accumulative, which means they stay in your body for the rest of your life.

Think about cosmetics and food made in China.... *shiver*

CoolMint Shampoo

Marriage joke of the day: "Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them." (Dumas)


You gotta hand it to the Koreans. They make good shampoo and good gimmick. It all started when I went to this bodycare salon just a walk from my office during lunchtime. The hairdresser boss, bless her, changed my parting and gave me a lot of information about my hair, scalp and how I should take care of them. Turns out, I had dandruff, but very fine ones, so fine I never notice because I'm a working mom. The dandruff is a result of a dirty scalp, from the pollution around me.

So, me bought Coolmint Shampoo to give me good hair, good scalp and good FEELING!

True enough, my hair starts to fall less. So COOL!

4-Days Weekend (S'pore National Day)

Marriage joke of the day: "You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to." -Henny Youngman

Phew! I survived! I survived the long weekend! I survived Daniel! Actually, his terrible twos syndrome ain't so bad now. I was all armed and armoured for the battle, thought I should set the foundation right for the long stretch of full days I have with him, but he was such a goodie. Maybe next time. Never know when he'll be a monster again...

So, I gave my IXUS400 a last chance. I charged its battery full, and tried snapping for a while. So far so good. And my lappie could detect it. Perfect for now. So I can show-and-tell what I've been busy with when I have some time on my hand.

This is my little project workshop where all my ideas and inspiration are executed in the form of glorious papers and knick-knacks.


A closer look at my new organizer. Nothing but a combination of cheapo Ikea cardboard chest drawer, transformed into a rojak of colours and design.




A couple of scrapbooking books that I had to import from the US of A. I like the authors scrapbooking style, but there's a lot of writing, a lot of quotes, story-telling and journalling. And they are simple, which is something I like too. But then all my patterned papers will be wasted. And I'm not really inspired to write a lot abou one photograph.. just yet.


Some scrapbook albums I bought. The smallest one is from a kit. All the pages and papers are provided, so you basically just need to paste according to the instruction manual. Of course, the cover design is all up your work, and there are extra stuff you can add to your pages.







It does look very pink huh. Fact is, there are kits for different themes, like baby boys, baby girls, home, grandfathers etc. Hehehe, no prize for guessing which I kit I picked. But not too bad wat, got blue and browns too. There are more pages but not shown here. I'm trying to finish some of the scrappages for the 12' x 12' album, then there'll be more show and tell! It looks quite different from the kit.

So, there. I do have a life. I preserve memories. There's more to scrapbooking than what you see here. Really.

The Terrible Twos

Quote of the day: Learn to think like a winner. Think positive and visualize your strengths. -Vic Braden

I found myself yelling at Daniel the whole Saturday. I never yell. That was when it struck me. He has begun the terrible twos syndrome.

He is like this wall of bricks. Bricks made of strong solid concrete stuff that no one can get through.

He doesn't understand 'No' anymore.

He gets impatient.

He whines more than ever.

He wants his way, only his way.

I'm going to die of a heart attack.

And he is going to trample all over my lifeless body.

On a better note, he woke up one morning and actually said Good Morning after I said it first. He's such a dear when he's happy after waking up. All babies are, aren't they. And he's such a laugh when he imitates adults like walking around the house and meddling with something while on the phone. Yes, he does that now. Paul and I do that. We pace up and down the hallway when we're on the phone. And there are many more expressions I wished I could've captured for memories.

Now where is that dream camera of mine....

I Kiaped My Finger

Quote of the day: There's no such thing as a non-working mother. -Hester Mundis

I am still thinking about which camera to buy. And because of that, I couldn't take a picture of my new kitchen in UDA, the house I am going to move in. I didn't expect it would be finished this soon. The floors been re-tiled with new anti-slip earth tone ceramic tile and the old rotting cabinet doors have been replaced too.

I've also pulled the fastest electronic purchase of a 3-burner Pensonic stove hub, only RM299! I looked around, chose one, paid for it, and brought it back for the workers to fix it in.

Daniel had fun just being lugged around. Hubbie was called last minute to an early morning golf. So, basically, I was doing the running around, the lugging around, the kitchen supervision when my father had to leave halfway because of golf as well. And Flo came at the right time, when I didn't have my pad! How cool is that. Surprisingly, I did not make a scene when I went home. I knew he felt bad for not being there.

Anyways, now, I have to get rid of one million things in the kitchen that came from my grandmother's era. I know some are worth keeping like the old traditional plates and bowls, but then if you keep one, you keep two, and then more and more. I'm really want to simplify and minimize! Less consumption, less waste! And not to mention, lots of scrubbing! The surfaces are sticky from the years and years of cooking, but not cleaning after the mess. Yucks right.

Finally I finished watching Sex & The City at 3am this morning, same time when the hubbie came home from yam cha with his friends. Also around the same time he came home from yam cha 2 nights ago. "Hou fan ah", he told me last night after dinner. It's been quite a year for him. The semi-relocation to KL, the expectations, the hope, the crash of hope, the another hope etc... I think he really wants to achieve something. Does turning 30 make men feel like it's time to achieve something in their life?

I slept in Daniel's room last night, with my iPod on, listening to some of my favourite 'daydreaming' songs. It's just one of those nights I feel disgusted sleeping next to hubbie. Just uncomfortable you know. He thinks I'm asleep when he comes home very late, but the truth is, I can't sleep until I know he's safely home. And of course, the best part is, this doesn't happen often, but when it does, it usually happens when I have PMS. What good timing.

Then comes the fun part when I conjure all sorts of ideas to spite him or make him feel really sorry. I'm vindictive when Flo is in town ya know. But almost always, I never execute my brilliant plans which victory will be on my side for sure. I know it's childish and petty. But like I said, those are just ideas and imagination, and it makes me feel better. But sometimes, I wished he'd knew about the war that's been tearing my sanity apart.

I feel sorry for the men sometimes. The fact that he does everything right for her many times over the years suddenly becomes unsignificant because of one thing he didn't do right, and that one wrongdoing is magnified 100X. Ladies, I know you're smiling.

But don't worry, at the end of the day, she recognizes all the blessings and love she has and live happily ever after.

I Now Have Side Parting

I have a humongous backlog of things to do. Why is it always like that. They are nothing but things I create, and I expect myself to finish them. I'm an extremist. I can be either very bored, or very occupied.

Maybe turning 30 has something to do with it. They say the thirties is the new twenties. Life just began at full gear.

My revelation crept in, not on the day I turned thirty, but perhaps a month or so after that. It's like an awakening that's on snooze, and I finally got up for real.

I have accepted myself, who I am, what I am, what I'm like, and I don't care a drop of what others think anymore.

I'm comfortable in my own skin, in private, in public, in front of my naked husband, in front of my peers, boss and handsome hunky strangers.

Maybe that's what it means by being wiser. Not in the knowledge sense, but in an emotional developmental sense. How you change the way you feel about yourself, has changed the way you feel about the rest of the world.

It's a priceless experience.

Cost of Living

Quote of the day: Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

FINALLY!

I had some time the other day, so I did a little survey on the price of things in Singapore and Malaysia. Just the basic stuffs.

On average, people in Singapore and Malaysia would have the same digits as salary, just in different currencies. Let's say one earns RM3000, and the other earns SGD3000. It's a reasonable and realistic salary in both countries. So, let's see the cost of everyday necessity.

I went to Tesco, one of the hypermarkets in Malaysia that offers unbeatably lower prices. In Singapore, I went to Cold Storage, one of the higher-end supermarkets where expats love to go. And here are some of the randomly picked items I checked out..

Scott Tissue ( 4 boxes/pk ) RM6.45 $3.15
Kelloggs Cereal, Assorted ( 6 small boxes/pk) RM5.59 $4.25
Carefree pantyliner RM7.59 $3.05
Dove Shampoo 1L RM15.49 $7.10
Dove Conditioner 1L RM16.69 $7.10
Heinz baby food 110g RM2.15 $1.40
Nestle Infant Cereal 250g RM4.35 $3.45
Dragon Rice 10kg RM32.50 $19.40 ( for 10kg Royal Umbrella Rice, one of the most premium
brand, as I could not find Dragon Rice in Cold Storage)
Dynamo Colour 5L RM21.99 $12.90

I bought a children's desk at Toys R Us in Singapore for $69.95 ( original price was $79.95 before discount ), and I checked the same one at Toys R Us in JB, Tebrau City. It was RM199.95! No wonder the Toys R Us in Singapore are always crowded. The one in TC is always pathetically empty!

The only thing that is significantly cheaper, even after conversion, is cigarette. RM8.20 vs $11.00. Not that it affects me...

Have a good weekend!

Last Words

Quote of the day: Eat well, live well, die anyway.

Two of my father's good friends died of cancer.

One was a male lawyer who succumbed to colon cancer in his thirties. At that time, I was in my early teens I think. During his chemo treatment, he'd still go out with my dad and I, to shopping malls just to walk around. The last time we hung out, he had a excretion bag with him. I didn't know what it was at that time. I remember him as a positive and lively person. Even when he was sick, he carried on as usual, drank lots of carrot juice and still had the mood to go out.

His wife and him ended their marriage during his illness. I had a feeling it was his idea. Being a divorcee would sound better than a widow, perhaps. They didn't have any children.

One day, he had to stay in bed, and for many days after that until his last breath. My dad would visit him often. I followed him one time.

He had this hospital bed in his room, with tubes and a machine beside it. He had grown so small. I never apprehended how fragile our bodies could be.

I was alone with him in the room. I just sat beside him and watched him breath heavily and slowly. He looked tired. Then he turned to me and asked me the weirdest question I have ever heard. " Will you call me papa?"

As a pre-teen girl, I was stunned. I hesitated for an answer, but never gave any eventually. That is the biggest regret in my life. I could have made a dying man's dream come true, but I was too naive.

Those were his last words to me.

Another was a lady friend, actually the wife of one of my father's good friends.

Her name was May. She succumbed to lung cancer just a couple of years ago. I never visited her, because the family kept it very private.

I did spend a few good years growing up with her three children. Almost every weekend was spent either at their big luxury home, or at the club, learning tennis and swimming.

They were rich. They lived in a huge bungalow in a prime housing estate and drove luxury cars. Everytime I went to their home, I felt a little small. I even had to check if my nails were clean because it would be embarrassing if I made their cushions dirty or something.

The last time I saw her was during the small wedding reception I had in JB. She looked perfectly normal to me. I remembered her strappy shoes. She told me that the songs I played that night was fantastic.

Those were her last words to me.

Last words that last...

Nostalgia

Quote of the day: The only people who never fail are those who never try. -Ilka Chase

During the ample time I have while driving to work, my radio is always on, or my iPod. And sometimes, nostalgic songs play that reminds me of a particular emotion I felt before.

My emotions at certain moments in my life are remembered vividly with a song. That's how I associate my memorable emotions with songs that played during an event, or songs that just reminded me of something.

That late 90-s popular hit Mm-bop reminded me of my uni coursemate gang, particularly TJ because he said he loved that song. And it played when we were all in my Proton Wira on the way to class. I miss my gang. We'd walk to class together everyday, in the sun, in the rain without fail during our first semester. Seokshin, Sim, Kenny, TJ, Aiwah and me.

Then, there's Jars of Clay's Frail. A very soothing haunting lullaby that reminded me of the time I was infatuated with a Malay dude named Abang Asfia who later became my boyfriend of 2 months.

At that time, I was also reunited with a childhood friend, Daniel Jackson, who used to live next to me in Springs Garden Malacca, until I moved to Johor at the age of 7. I showed him my panties in his room one day. He loved cats, and would stuff as many kittens he can under his shirt. He once called the fire department to report a fire...for fun. That's my Daniel Jackson.

I found him on stage during a Music Fest in university, playing the drums, and boy was he good. He was also a very dark Indian, BIG, and had blood-shot eyes. I suspect he was on drugs. We chatted for 5 hours at night outside my KK5 block. He asked me if I would consider him if Abang and I are no longer together. I laughed. I can't remember what my answer was.

I never saw him after that. I heard he opened his own band.

Mariah Carey's songs were my favourite. She was hot at that time. I always listened to Close My Eyes when I'm lying on my upper deck bed in dorm, at bedtime.

I played the cassette tape on my Sony cassette tape player. If I turned to look out of my window, I'd always see Kenny and his roomate Jimmy's room. Our blocks face each other. I could also catch TJ sometimes, at his studydesk, wearing a hairband. He had thick black wavy hair. What an envy. He was my Hugh Grant.

Once he left me alone in the dark at a parking lot outside our faculty because he forgot something. It was after a gathering or some kind of meeting, and it was late. He was going to give me a lift back on his bike. It was a cool night. The tree rustled and the breeze swept through in the quiet distance. I stood there and waited. I wasn't scared, though I should've been. I felt safe and was on top of the world because I'd be one of the girl who once rode on TJ's bike.

Then, there's the magical Burn For You by John Farhnam. It played one rainy night, when Paul was lying on my bed asleep, in my room, in the rented double-storey house I shared with 4 guys and 3 other girls during our second year. That was the moment I thought ," This could be something".

Denniam was one of the guys in the house. Sweet gentleman he was. I remember his courage the most and I respect him for it. After I became single again, from the Abang, Denniam wrote me a note which I still keep now, along with many other memorable cards, notes, gifts, autographs etc.

"No matter where you are, what you do, remember that there's a silly guy who loves you"

One of the girls, Irene, is born a nurse. She actually woke me up every 4 hours at night to feed me my antibiotics when I was hit by high fever. I don't know where she is now.

And I will never forget George Michael's rendition of I Can't Make You Love Me. And many of his romantic jazzy songs. YJ and Season was the two most sensitive emotional guys I almost went out with. Throughout my first year, YJ was my emotional whore. Our confidante friendship started on the phone. We'd chat for 4 to 5 hours through the night and it wasn't tiring. It was comfortable. I met him in person for the first time during a get-together where all his friends made fun of the situation and made me guess who the secret caller is. He looked kind. He wasn't the tall dark handsome hunk, but he could communicate. He bought me sparkling diamond pendant, which I don't know if it's real.

I don't know where the pendant is today. He is a doctor now and I attended his wedding about a year ago, and sometimes I still bump into him and his wife in town.

Season was a determined and intense person. We'd listen to new age songs in his Kancil and imagine running through a forest. Very Enigma. He loved arts, drama fashion and music. I remember Chris Isaac's Wicked Games. He picked me some wild flowers and hung them at my doorknob as a surprise. One day, he came by the house and ran up to my room, to find Paul sitting on my floor with his foot stretched out smelling of medicated ointment. I never saw him again.

Some years back, I came across some news of a drama play that he was in. In that play, he man-handled a very pretty actress/model. Recently, I chanced upon his blog. He still look the same. Very arty-farty, more groomed.

Many were sceptical about Paul. He looked like he was going to break my heart in pieces. Everyone was waiting for him to make a mistake.

I saw something else. He is a good man. Kind, responsible, honest and hard-working. He loved me.

I got myself into some trouble tonight
Guess Im just feeling blue
Its been so long since Ive seen your face
This distance between me and you

That voice you showed me is not the one I know
I must be strung out on what I do
Dont hang up again
Theres nothing else I know how to do

But I burn for you
What am I going to do
I burn for you
Burn for you

I guess it feels like youre always alone
And I feel that way too
Its so hard to explain to you
Please understand what I do

But I burn for you
What am I going to do
I burn for you
Burn for you

Took my trouble to a bar tonight
For another point of view
But theres nothing new
Im missing you

But I burn for you
What am I going to do
I burn for you
Burn for you

I stroked his hair and wondered where I'd be in a decade...

Sleep

Last night, Daniel and I watched Baby Mozart, and dozed off at 10.15pm. It's the music, I tell you. It's a rare occasion that I doze off at this godly hour. It felt good knowing I slept a decent amount, but funny leh, while driving to work this morning, I still feel sleepy. Too much sleep I guess.

So, while I slept, Paul took care of everything that I used to be in charge of. He ironed his own shirt, carried the little one back to his own room, set my alarm, charged my mobile phone, and went out to fill up my car.

The little one caressed me before we dozed off, like I was the baby. He has such loving little hands.

What an amazing night, my two favourite boys took care of me... must buy 4D.

Weekend is coming..again

Today, something caught my attention as I read The Daily Bread, that I would like to share. It starts with a story...

The mayor of a small town in Kentucky stopped mowing his lawn in 2005. He has put up a sign on his property that reads: “There are more important things in life than tall grass.”

He said that he has several reasons for not cutting the grass, one of which is his wife’s death from cancer. That loss caused him to reflect on the priorities of life. He enjoys just sitting in the evenings and observing the wild flowers, squirrels, and birds that are now coming to his yard. A member of the city council remarked, “If he likes it like that, it’s fine. I kind of feel like maybe he is right. Maybe there are more important things than mowing grass.”

Sometimes responsibilities like washing dishes, mowing the lawn, or working extra hours on a project need to wait so that we can spend time with the Lord or family or friends. That may be what’s more important.

So true init. I've never heard anyone saying on their deathbed, "Gee, I wished I spent more time in the office/on golf/drinking with my buddies"

It seems that life's greatest lesson is always learnt when it is a little too late. Let's learn it now, why not...

Hubbie has been in KL this whole week, and I realized it has been some time since we made the trip to Seremban.

So, tomorrow morning, I will be hitching a ride from a friend who is driving to KL to spend the weekend with her husband. Yes, another classic example of couples living apart for work, and for the good of the future.

Initially, I was planning to take the coach. Ah, I miss those Bus Persiaran and the conductors yelling "KL! KL! SEKARANG! VIP SEAT!" at the bus terminal. I thought it would be a fun adventure for Daniel and myself. Heehee. Maybe next time.

Just now, on the phone with him, I got pissed when he said there's a company golf tournament next Saturday. I don't really have much full weekends with him around already, and now he'll be in KL for leisure?

Blah..

Please Donate to Ally's Home Reno Fund

Quote of the day: He who laughs, lasts -Mary Pettibone Poole

I sprained my neck during my sleep last night. Now, I'm a walking robot.

My faithful IXUS 400 has been giving me tempers. It refused to be detected on my lappie, and the battery life has gone down considerably low which means I can't even snap more than 20 pictures in an hour, let alone a day.

Lately, I have been daydreaming of being on a beautiful beach, and doing nothing but lie in a hammock and listen to the waves. I just want to ... stop moving for a while, you know what I mean. Just stop whatever I do everyday in life.... driving, laundry, cleaning, planning what to wear tomorrow, which bills to pay, bla bla bla. I just want to have a taste of the like-there's-no-tomorrow kind of day.

I have to save up for my house renovation.

!$$$$$$$$$!

These days when I'm driving, especially after work, I notice that I actually make the effort to look around to see other drivers and passagers in other cars. And I'm no longer afraid or shy to look. I'm doing this as an observant citizen who is aware of the surroundings. When I see a car occupied by men only, I get wary. I give them the 'look', as a message that I am watching them and don't be funny with me or anybody else. Gosh, is that safe to do? Am I actually inviting trouble if they are really crooks? *shiver*

I just spent USD110 on 4 magazines on card-making and a Quickutz template set... plus international shipping. And I'm going to spend more on scrapbooking books, just because they're so nice to look at. I guess it could relieve some of my subconscious stress. I'm an incurable online shopaholic and scrapbook junkie, that it's beginning to replace my sexlife I think!

Ouch, my neck!

Little Dragon Ladies

Who are they, you may ask?

Maids from China who are known to break marriages by having affairs with the husbands, and dumping them after all their money is used up.

Gosh, I didn't even know China is into the maids business. I'm pretty sure a Chinese maid is efficient, smart, sensible and hardworking... maybe too smart already.

WANITA MCA will agree to allow China maids to be employed if that issue is solved.

WANITA MCA is smart I'd say. Such issues will never be solved. And never ever underestimate what a China woman can do!

Though I am also Chinese, but this is purely a geographical culture difference.

So, would you hire one?

Wallop you then you know!

Quote of the day :“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” -Bette Davis

I made a startling discovery few days ago. I am 30 years old, and my right feet is smaller. So is my right breast. And right eye.

How bizarre is that. I'm a walking asymmetrical disaster! With 5 more new shoes... which in the process of buying has led me to this discovery. Money well-spent.

Yesterday, we officially became Chinese parents.

The little one loves washing his hands in the sink, and playing water while at it. I was doing my thing by the kitchen sink, and he was standing on his stool so he was able to reach the sink. There he was, relentlessly playing. I usually give him 5 minutes. Then I say "It's enough. No more washing hands. Go down" He refused, and kept on. I gave him the ultimatum again. He whines pathetically. Usually, my approach is ignore his whining, and giving him the "No" lecture intermittenly, until he stops on his own. With this approach, I hope he learns that he can't get what he want by whining and crying, all acting if I may say.

His father took out the cane, in the form of the feather duster, which I bought initially solely for dusting, and hanging unused since eons. He gave the whiny brat a short and fast stroke on his calf. He was crying for real this time. Now, standing on the floor, both knees slightly bent, he reached for that calf and uttered with his mucus-dripping mouth while sobbing very sadly, "Tong Tong" ( Pain pain in Mandarin).

Talk about pulling parental heartstrings... or rather, maternal. I truly understand the old adage, it hurts you more when you beat your child.

I knew sooner or later, the cane would have to come out. But I am never the one holding it. I am the 'cool down corner' type.

Who's the daddy eh.

It's amazing how a child can forget about it after 5 minutes and continue having a relationship with the cane-holding monster. Of course, every 'lesson' is accompanied by explanation, then kiss and make up.

I understand that Westerners and alike, cannot condone use of physical punishment. Instead, lots of talking and time-out are used, which I agree, support and try to implement. But being Chinese, or Asian for that matter, the cane is still the ultimate disciplinary tool.

Of course, being more educated and modern now, we no longer yell and pull our kids ears in public like what old aunties do in the market. We simply do the lecturing privately. Caning is only reserved for the very serious crime, in the confines of the home. Not because we are afraid of a commonly-used well-known-like-in-America toll free 1800-Saya-Nampak-kanak-kanak-Kena-Dera line, but because we acknowledge and respect the child's pride.

We can't escape our roots.

I think we're on the right track here. He wasn't very whiny anymore after that, in fact he had the take-it-like-a-man kinda attitude.

"NO, I can't destroy your phone? Fine, I'll destroy something else". And walks away with his chin up.

Quote of the day: The new root of evil is drugs...

... in JB. Possibly monopolized by the organized crime syndicate led by Chinese. Thank you KJ for that interesting article that opened my eyes.

Money no longer make you high.

And Enrique Iglesias is a swinging single again.

*****

We've decided to move to my pre-marital home. My dad has his own pad now, a cozier, easy-to-manage two bedroom townhouse nearer to his office. Once he move into his new pad, we will start refurbishing the old, dirty and dull double-storey suburban terrace house. I'm so excited. I love restoring old stuffs and to make it look new.

It's a logical move. I will be relatively nearer to the causeway. My dad, and mom too, will be able to visit more often. Eventually, my father-in-law will retire and move here, and there will be an extra room for him. And we will hire a maid! Oh, perfect!

1. Replace floor tiles in kitchen and the entire upper floor which is originally parquet. Termites problem.
2. Remove wall cabinets in kitchen, and repaint.
3. Replace cabinet doors under the kitchen counter and sink.
4. Fix new stove.
5. Replace tiles, sink and toilet in master bedroom bathroom. Build a counter and cabinet under the sink.
6. Apply fresh coat of paint on iron grills and walls.
7. Polish marble floor.

I love transformation.

Oh gawd, then comes the millions of little things...

I am tempted to build a small dip pool in the garden area. It'll be tight, but very minimal spa-like. It'll be like Bali right at my doorstep. While I'm at it, might as well, knock down the walls, and build extra space, and 5 more storeys. Then buy my neighbours houses, knock down the walls and *alarm clock rings*

That'll be nice huh. Sometimes, I close my eyes and imagine my dream home makeover, it feels so real it's enough. In my mind, I already own it.

Something going on...

I read The Star Online this morning. My heart froze. It's the second case of terror-ride-gang-rape assault THIS WEEK. What made my heart froze was that it happened in Johor Bahru. The places and the roads that are familiar to me. And it happened not at an ungodly hour, but at the hour when the roads are still busy and when people are still seen around.

Before I go on , read this - Another woman gang-raped

Agent Mulder in X-files once said, "To catch a monster, you have to be one".

Or think like one.

Where are the agent mulders in our police force? At least someone has the passion to solve crimes.

What are connection between the two cases? Similar modus operandi. In both cases, there is a man and a woman, in a car. Assailants, in a group of 4, in PARANGS, either ram into victim's car and immobilize it, or attack at a petrol station when the man is out of the car. In both cases, victims were taken on a terror ride to another place, isolated. In both cases, man's leg is slashed when he tried to escape and the woman is gang-raped while he watched helplessly.

Striking similarity if you ask me.

Duh, the police would have figured this out.

Were those victims selected randomly which would be the case of at-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time? Or were they victims of revenge? Or victims of a gang-police showdown?

Why was the abduction committed at a petrol station at 10.30pm when there are people around? Weren't the assailants bothered about witnesses?

Why didn't the assailants kill the victims who could become key witnesses?

Did they let them go so that some kind of 'message' is sent to the police? To the public?

Were the crimes planned by a mastermind? Someone whom the victims offended big-time?

If so, did the mastermind hired a group of foreigners to execute his act of getting even? After all, it's a win-win situation, the mastermind is never revealed, the foreigners get paid a big sum (in their currency perhaps, but peanuts in RM), they commit the crimes quickly, and right now, they are on the way back to their homeland where the police will never find them again.

The victims are left with nothing for justice.

I can't help to speculate that these crimes were committed to 'stir' the Johor Police force. Something going on for sure...

I also can't help but to wonder what took place in the car during the hours of terror-ride? There should be some conversation right? The victims could've asked them why they are doing this. Maybe they were negotiating a deal... a "We'll let you live, if you make the police belive you are raped, make this news BIG, pressure the police, make them see what WE are capable of. BUA HA HA HA HA HA"

Drama drama drama.

But seriously, in times like this, I can't help but prepare myself. I can have all kinds of weapons for defence with me, but will it help keep me alive? And will I be able to think fast enough to react?

The trauma of rape is unimaginable. And I hope it'll never happen to me and my family and friends. But driving pass the roads and the places where it happened, makes me feel eerily close to the crime.

May I survive.

Women's Best Asset

Quote of the day: Take your work seriously, but never yourself -Dame Margot Fonteyn

By the way, Dame Margot is one of the greatest ballerina in the 1940's. Which reminded me of the time I took ballet classes for a year when I was 10 or so. Everything we wore were baby pink, and I had fun, until I saw the intermediate students wearing this training ballet shoes that was made of wood at the tip so that it trains your toes to point on the floor when you dance. Those were heavy ugly shoes. So I stopped, and studied science instead.

And speaking of shoes, these are what I own. Funny thing is, out of the 14 pairs, I only wear one pair most of the time. I'm a creature of habit, what can I say.


Too many? Too few?

Some time back, I heard this on the radio. A zoo German is hiring clowns to entertain the monkeys and gorillas, because the primates were getting bored, and displaying aggressive behaviours. And in another part of the globe ie. Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan is named the Most Dangerous celebrity, whose bodyguards need bodyguards. One of her bodyguard quit because he has been under tremendous stress to keep her alive during his shift. She does coke, party like there's no tomorrow, and assaults people. She's one wild child, too much money and fame these kids nowadays.

Still breathing

Quote of the day: Do something nice for yourself. Do nothing.

Still wondering what is causing my breathlessness and weak state of late, I stayed home yesterday. Doing nothing but watch TV and lying down as much as I like.

It didn't make any difference. So now I know it's not stress.

I went to see the doctor about it. Turns out I have tonsilitis. She gave me a mirror and showed me my swollen tonsils filled with pus. That's funny, I don't feel any sore! I also took a blood count test, which I am anticipating a low white blood count, caused b the infection.

As cliched as it sounds, I realize life is nothing without health. There are so many things I wish I could do, but can't because I'm physically not capable of right now. Any strenuous activity can make me short of breath and light-headed. I'm just not myself.

And because I have come to appreciate what I had, when I get well, I will plan for a short getaway.

In the meantime, I will fight this like a warrior.

At least the little soldier who loves Yakult is giving me support...

Things I Do

IKEA's cardboard chest


MakingMemories Stamping Tool Set


Alphabet stamps, individual letters.


One word set-up


Stamped!


Final work.

Always...

Quote of the day: Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time.
My sickness spell is not over. I remember I said one after the another. This time, I am having dizzy-kindalike-brain-cannot-catch-up-with-my-eyesight spells. Sometimes I even feel like I'm at the verge of a panic attack or a breakdown, like I'm gonna crash and not wake up. I still haven't got my stamina back. What is wrong with me?

Note: I am not pregnant.

I am just tired of life I guess. Always on the move, always something to do, always always always.

The hubbie is also slowing down. He says we need a holiday, to somewhere we can just relax by the pool/beach and rot.

Anyone been to Krabi?

Anyway, there's always one person that I can never get tired of. My dear two-year old sweet boy.

On his birthday, we got him a cake, sang him the b'day song, and he blew two candles... again and again because he enjoys it so much.

Not the typical children's cake as you'd expect, like those Mickey Mouse ThomasNFriends Power Ranger cakes. I end up finishing all of it, in 4 days.



Wo yao kai-kai!


My Dad and I then brought him to Danga Bay later that evening to enjoy the fun fair. But poor thing, because he is still small, he can only watch..

The Magic of 400 Threadcount Sheet

Quote of the day: My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

When I enter my bedroom, I immediately feel the urge the hibernate. And whenever I am in bed, I don't ever want to get out of it. This is the effect of my new Aussino 400 threadcount bedsheets. I'm just totally konked out by it. As comfortable as sleeping on my own skin. Even the little one is taking longer naps...

It all started when one of my colleagues, an Aussino member who had her birthday last month and who was entitled to 40% discount on regular-priced items, invited me to shop with her. My first Aussino buy. Now I regretted not getting more...





I'm now an Aussino member!


Aussino bedwear and sheet are a lethal-hibernateable combination.


The only thing that can keep me awake, is SEX.... & The City DVDs. Tee hee... So cool, it's a bound book with hard velvet bubblegum pink cover, and it contains the synopsis of all the episodes plus pictures of popular scenes in the series.





Go ahead, indulge in threadcounts...