My maternal grandfather passed on last Friday :(
I wasn't very close to him, but I was probably the last family member to see him before he left.
It was the day I went to pay the nursing home bills, and I saw him sleeping so peacefully like a baby. He had shrunk so much, and his skin was suddenly so smooth. I whispered "Bye ah gong", but never did I expect that I would be really saying BYE for real.
I think the only strong memory I have of him is when his old squatter house at Jalan Mahmoodiah got torn down for development, and he was left by the road with his belongings. Somehow, someone called my uncle in Singapore to inform him about this, and he panicked and called my mom who was at that time abroad, and she panicked and called me.
So after some few panicky calls, I went to my mom's place and found him sitting at the curb. Apparently, a family friend had sent him there. We were at a loss.
He was a little demented, was quite oblivious, and were just calmly sitting down, smilling even.
So I called my good friend whose mom was a social worker to ask her if she knew any good home for him. Just with a phone call, I got the home's address and off we went.
It was Agape Nursing Home in Kempas. We arrived at 8pm and the caretaker lady was very accomodating. We all sat down together and discussed about his admittance, and I had to ask him if he was okay with living in that new home. He kept shaking his head, but smiling, and said something in Hokkien which I interpreted to be 'No thanks'. Now, come to think of it, I think he approved and meant "No choice lor". But we were there 'trying' to motivate him for an hour!!
In the end, somehow we understood and I left him under her care. She would clean him up and put on new clothes for him.
This is the part I remember most, as I drove back, I burst into tears. Like the wailing kind.
How could I do this. Abandon someone in a nursing home. But NONE of HIS children are around.
I cried all the way home. And for 7 years after that, I handled the bill payments and accounts from the funds collected from all my aunts and whoever chipped in.
So that's my story. The end.
His wake was held at Wisma Tiong Hua, Jalan Ngee Heng, Johor Bahru.
Typical wake display. His coffin is behind the altar.
The 'schedule'. Chinese wake must be for 3, 5 or 7 days.
Basically, for the first couple of days, visitors came and paid their last respects. I spent most of the days there, folding paper taels to be burnt for him. We also ate a lot. The undertaker's services include food catering I think. There were lunch, teabreak, dinner and supper. The food was not bad!
Then on the night before the funeral, the monk performed prayers and chants with all of us participating as well. Then it was time to burn the paper house, car, driver, maid, butler, money and taels for him in the other world.
The next day it was the funeral. The real deal. Many of my aunts got emotional because this would be the last time they see him. He was buried next to my grandmother.
The Chinese folks say that this is actually a good occasion because he has lived a long good life, at 90 plus years old. He had 8 great-grandchildren, some of them pictured here. At one point, one of my aunts said this is the mother of all gatherings.
Oh, I must mention, there was a band to send him off!
Following the whole ritual, we had to wash our hands, feet and face and comb our hair in 'flower water', which is a pail of tap water with 7 types of flowers, mostly chrysanthemums, orchids and daisies.
Boy were we exhausted after that! It is sad that he is gone, but also happy that he went peacefully without any ailments or pain. Goodbye Ah Gong...
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