Baby2

Well, Fetus2 more like it for now...

First trimester woes
1. You name it I got it. Nausea, sleepiness, dizziness, bloating, hyper-salivating, restless leg syndrome and bitchiness.

With D, I was sick for just a short while. Not as sensitive as this time round. Go ahead, gimme the "OHHH!! IT'S GOING TO BE A GIRL!!!!" theory.

2. Is it me or do you tend to get aware of what you see. It's a stage where you can't help but 'fall' to believe a bit of the superstitions, like don't go to the zoo and look at animals. That day I watched Planet of the Apes. And I ter-saw pictures of mutant goat or something with two heads and human deformed face, and I quickly flip the pages. How ah. Invalid fear I know.

3. Been there, done that. Therefore, the worry is doubled this time. I'm not innocent anymore. I KNOW what's going to happen and what CAN happen.

With D, the labour was already taking place and me not realizing it. When I saw the 'show' (blood-tinged mucus discharge is a sign of labour) I called my doc and admitted myself for a day of monitoring. The machine I was strapped onto showed regular strong contractions. But all I felt was just painless 'tightening' of my abdomen. Next morning, I was 3cm dilated. Doctor said "Looks like you're going to have this baby today" I was at 37 weeks. Then, fetal heartbeat rate dropped. He pooped inside. Not a moment to lose! And everything happened so fast after that. I was shaved, given spinal block, wheeled to the OT and all I remember is the shivering. And then there he was. Tiny as a little kitten, red and cautiously alert. He was keeping his eyes open and looked like he was trying to find something. I was in tears. I cooed to him "Hey there... look at you! You ok? I'll see you soon ok?" Then he was whisked off to be observed for 24hours. Then more shivering, and more shivering. And then you get this question of a lifetime. "You nak you punya placenta tak?" Shiver shiver shiver.

In retrospect, anything could've happened, I thought. I'm deeply thankful that everything went alright.

4. "Hmm, how is this baby going to be like" thoughts. You WILL compare.

5. "I can't handle two kids" thoughts.

How could I possibly? I am an only child. I know nuts about sibling rivalry, jealousy, fights and the 2X mess. I had 26 imaginary friends and we all live peacefully! Can I love my kids equally? I don't know. Will my firstborn always be special? Maybe. Will I be able to impartially judge a squabble? I hope so. So many questions, 6 months to go.

Parenthood is not for the faint-hearted.