Lovin' It

It feels good when you make a decision that feels right. It's funny when you feel good, everything seems to look brighter!

I decided to to be a stay-home mom.
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... until mid June. I will lose 2 months worth of salary and my bonuses will be pro-rated. But it feels worth it, on many levels.

I have learnt and understood my baby's cues better nowadays and that gives me a lot more confidence now. I know he gets more hungry before his bedtime, so I increase his intake and feed him at a shorter interval so he can sleep longer at night. I know his cry is different when he's hungry or when he's sleepy. I know his favourite napping spot on the couch. Babies aren't that scary if you know their 'pattern'!

A couple of weeks ago, I felt different. I was unsettled, a bit down and jaded. Why did I have another baby? Why did I have to follow the social norm of having at least two children. My life was perfect before this. Daniel was an independent kid, I had a great helper who did all the housechores, I had ample time doing the things I love which was sewing and crafting, I had my etsy shop to run, everything was just so fantastic. It made me decide that I wasn't a baby person. I wanted to pass baby to someone else to look after until he's like 2, the fun age. Is this a normal feeling? It could be. Some say it is a natural initial feeling. Now, I think it was just some crazy phase. All I want now is to BE with baby and watch him grow.



My wide-eyed little charm.

Getting The Hang Of It

I was zombified for a few days post-confinement. Plus very stressed up. As my confinement was ending, everyone at home was getting sick including myself. We blamed it on the crazy weather. Hot during the first half of the day, rainy the rest of the day. I was feeling the 'heat' from all the heaty food I've been taking as well and it came in the form of a sore throat followed by a brief fever ON the full month dinner day, and now I'm blowing out thick green mucus.

I spent the few nights practically sleepless, observing baby's sleep patterns and most of the time sensitive to his little grunts and stretches when he sleeps. I became jaded, a little shaky from the all-night tense muscles, and I hated having blocked nose when I try to sleep. I didn't quite settle on a routine yet and that made me 'unsettled'. I need things to be in order to feel good and in control.

Now, I feel so much better. I managed to doze off last night, and sleep deeply for 2 hours at least, oblivious to his little grunts and movements. I'm getting back to a civilized routine and it feels good.

Yesterday, as I burped baby AND helped Daniel with a little jigsaw game simultaneously, I thought to myself, hey I can do this!