Revival

Quote of the day: It is good to be alive.

I am reviving this blog.
1. I miss it too much.
2. There's no other channel to show-and-tell/laugh my cute little 3 year old (refer image attachment)
3. I need to complain about the @#%&* traffic at the Singapore customs.
4. I have this communal urge, and sometimes I really a lot of things to say!
5. I want to go to Nuffnang party too.


Cute messenger sling bag courtesy of yours truly, and an antique Flying Man sewing machine.

In my previous post which I have deleted, I said I would be Facebooking instead to connect with friends. This blog was dead for 2 months. Facebooking alone is a bit boring. There's only so much you can do there besides the Funwall.

And almost everyone is on it, including a friend's one-year old boy. DAMN, he has his own profile! It's kinda funny seeing his mom and dad in his Friend's List. Maybe I should create one for Daniel. And they'll have mutual friends. Some day he will set the garden chair on fire so that he can roast his 3 packets of marshmallow that he receive in an exchange for a pack of bak kua,with his kindy friend named Daniel. Then his dad will ground him for 2 days, and he will create this column called 'Mutual Enemy'... buahahahhaa.

Talk about starting young in EVERYthing. Kids these days... stories for another day ya.

I have to say one more thing and it's political.

"His Excellency Minister for Life Field Marshal He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, VC, DSO, MC, MM, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in SE Asia in General and Singapore in Particular" Lee Kuan Yew said that if Singaporeans voted for the opposition out of boredom, Singapore will go down in 5 years.

Hold on, is he implying that, that will happen to Malaysia? Talk about control freaks...

Paint and Be Merry

News of the day: Mat Selamat is in Malaysia! When you arrive at the customs, it says SELAMAT DATANG! *kua kua kua*

I introduced him to 3 bottles of primary colour paints, some brushes, a palette and LOTS of drawing papers.

He did this unassisted!
Aeroplane


Apples and bananas




Yes, boy. DO NOT do science like mummy. Science is boring and unglam. Science will not make you look cool and give you lots of moolah. Science will not get you the chicks. ART is the way to go.

Aiwah & Alex's Wedding Banquet & Glorious Penang Food

Quote of the day: Once in a while, indulge.

I have to tell you, Penang food is F***ING AWESOME! This trip is the bestest of the best! Right after I touched down, my lovely cousin whisked me off to indulge in one of the island's best Penang laksa.
Sori, ini imej dari telepon bimbit. The laksa soup luxuriously fragrant. And you gotta have authentic hay-ko (prawn paste).


Then, nap. THEN, out to eat rojak! Again, the hay-ko killed me.

But good things must come to an end...in the meantime. I had to endure typical Chinese wedding course, without hay-ko :(
Of course, the whole purpose of my trip is to witness and be part of a celebration of love and union of Aiwah and her always-smiling Alex. He must be very very happy to have her as his bride. Congratulations lovebirds! Herzlichen gluckwunsch!

Gurney drive.


Makan stalls at Gurney drive.


Couple of the hour.


Something unusual. But wait a min... the bride is not inside. Behold she's the bearer of the opening dish! Beh gam..





Supper at Batu Ferringi. Or-chien and char kuey teow courtesy of Sim's folks. I had so much little oysters.. and you know what oysters do to you, dontcha dontcha *chuckle chuckle* They were explosive.




Asam laksa, charkueyteow,oyster omellete and prawn mee. The four heavenly touch-my-body signature must-haves in Penang!

"Kakak"

Quote of the day: Be nice.

One night, Daniel went over to our study hall and played with his father's fax machine. As all kids with itchy hands do, he picked up the receiver and dialed some random numbers. He paused and looked uh-oh-what-did-I-do. Before Paul could reach him, he put the receiver back.

"Who did you call?"

*silent, looking guilty*

Paul pressed the redial button and listened.

"Tell me Daniel, who did you call?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
He nervously murmured, "Kakak"

On the line, this was who he called.

"Nombor yang anda dail tiada dalam perkhidmatan kami"

Paul and I had a blast.

Friends Forever

Thought of the day: Traffic at Singapore Checkpoints are scarier than being mooned by PM. Indeed, Mas Selamat has succeeded in creating terror without using weapons of mass destruction!

Good Friday was spent reuniting with my childhood friend whom I've not met for 16 years.

In that 16 years, we lost contact, studied in different continents, worked in totally different fields, lived differently and then one day, here we are, finding that we have actually a lot in common.



A toast to our friendship!

Meeting in Bintan

This year, our Scientific Advisory Board meeting is held in Bintan, Indonesia. It is a meeting where we report our progress and future work towards our institute's goal of producing the super cell-line that will invade the world!!

Ferry ferry not too shabby

Nirwana Resort Hotel, under Nirwana Gardens. Bintan is practically run by Singaporeans.





"Ibu, sup buntut satu! Buntut kanan ya!"

Doesn't quite feel Indonesian, but their resort buildings are, as usual, beautiful and simple.

Kid at Work

My workdesk in the office is temporarily converted into a childcare centre. I thought I'd let his nanny rest today.

So far so good.

"What Do You Love About Thee?"

I'm an old lady. Being awake at 12.43am is a feat to me. I'm having mental block from designing my cards. I can't go to work tomorrow because Daniel's nanny is in hospital. She had chest pains and has to be monitored overnight. My heart nearly stopped when she told me. This amazing woman has been my saviour ever since Daniel was born. And I can't even think of what will happen if something happens to her. She sounded alright though...

I was watching a Singapore TV program called Rouge, and in one part of the program, this was asked.

"What do you love about your other half?"

My answer used to be a cliche. "I don't know why I love him, but I just love him". Bla.

Becoming an old lady, I started to have reasons and opinions for everything. So, I thought I'd share on what I love about my other half.

He's always there.
He's the most reliable person I've ever met.
He's simple and straightforward.
He's a great father to our child.
He washes the dishes.
He tucks me in every night.
He's goofy.
He loves me.

OK. This old lady gotta go to bed.

*HIC*

Puisi of the day:

Gurindam Pak Lah

Panas ku sangka hingga ke petang,
Rupanya hujan di tengahari,
Kelantan ku sangka mudah ditawan,
Rupanya kuhilang 5 negeri.

Sungguh malang nasibku ini,
Tiada kampung, tiada negeri,
Penang negeriku ditawan DAP,
Taktau kemana nak bawa diri.

Ada baiknya ku undur diri,
Bagi peluang kepada Khairy,
Sambil kutumpu kepada isteri,
Manalah tau kot dapat baby!

***
Excuse me while I need to curse somebody...

MOTHERFBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPMATSELAMATBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

Commuters at the causeway including yours truly were held up for 4 hours plus yesterday! FOUR BLARDY HOURS.

Guess what the customs doing now? Taking your blardy thumbprints. And it doesn't help when the system is blardy ssllooowww. Such genius! He escaped two weeks ago, and NOW we're scanning our thumbprints, so blardy awesome smart aleck they are!

I called home.

"So honey, how was Daniel's convocation?"

"It was great but that was ages ago. We are grandparents now, you know? Little Julia is a ruckus!"

"Oh... that's nice. Sigh... I should be home for Christmas if they keep this pace"

"Alright dear. Hey, sexie, pass me the beer.."

"Who is that?"

"Oh, that's Tina. I remarried"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At this point, I saw Mat Selamat at the backseat of my car. He was holding a hi-tech device full of wire with a countdown timer, and I yelled, "SET THE BOMB I WANT TO DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

***
As you can see, the highly *HIC* intense pressure of patience and *HIC* suspense have adversely affected my *HIC* nerves.
*muscle twitching*

National Wind of Change

Quote of the day: Truth prevails.

While we're still on political high...
T'was a peaceful polling day in Bandar Baru UDA. It was a great day indeed. I've never felt true democracy at work.




Johor is still a BN fort.


I now feel that our children's future in this country is no longer bleak. I hope that this happy face will remain happy, and he will have equal opportunities in all good things.

Baby Crocs

Quote of the day: Office:Mac 2008 is like having sex without condoms.

I saw a kid's croc shoe rolled into the side end of an elevator. It's horrifying! Fortunately, the child is alright, probably shocked and ashamed by mom's lecturing in public. SO, parents out there, if your kid ngeh-ngeh-die-die INSISTS on wearing crocs to places with elevators, make sure they LIFT their feet up (one foot a step of course) when they reach the end of the elevators. Or simply just lift them up yourselves.

OK?

Worst Jam In History

Quote of the day: Some dreams, do come true, so do some nightmares. Live with it.

Cars, lorries, busses and motorcycles were held up for hours yesterday. I wasted one and a half hours of my life. Worst ever jam in the history of the Woodlands Checkpoint. The only drama I saw at the customs? All the officers are garbed in bullet-proof vests.

"Suspected JI leader escaped from toilet: Singapore

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - A "security lapse" led to the escape of the leader of the city-state's wing of the Islamic militant network, Jemaah Islamiah (JI), Singapore said on Thursday.

Wong Kan Seng, Singapore's minister for home affairs, told members of parliament that Mas Selamat bin Kastari escaped from the toilet of a police detention facility, in the middle of a posh residential area, on Wednesday afternoon.

Acknowledging that the security lapse "should have never happened", Wong said everything was being done to arrest Kastari.

Singapore security systems are generally tight and sophisticated on the island to police its borders.

Local newspapers reported that thousands of policemen were deployed late on Wednesday in a massive hunt for Kastari, who was thought to have escaped unarmed and walks with a limp.

The JI has been blamed for several deadly bombing attacks in Southeast Asia, including the 2002 bombings that killed more than 200 people on Indonesia's resort island of Bali.

Singapore, a strong U.S. ally and a major base for Western businesses, sees itself as a prime terrorist target in the region after it foiled JI plots in 2001 to attack its airport and other targets, including the U.S. embassy, the Americna Club and the Singapore American School.

Kastari left Singapore after the plots seven years ago after nearly 40 other suspected members of JI were rounded up. He was arrested by the Indonesian police on the Indonesian island of Bintan in January 2006 and sent back to Singapore.

He had since been held under Singapore's Internal Security Act, which allows for detention without trial."

Maybe he didn't get to eat his ayam penyek. So anyway, Happy Leap Year Day. One extra day this year, and how do you want to spend it? Just. One. Precious. Day.

A Child's Early Experiences and Its Effects

Quote of the day: Change is the only constant thing in life.

I came across this while surfing for porn. Simplified version for you fast-track minds.

Exploring the Behavioral, Psychological, Physical, Intellectual and Emotional Consequences of Events During Prenatal Development, Birth and Infancy.

Early experiences provide a template for how we experience the rest of our lives.

Research shows that
# prenates are conscious, aware and sensitive
# pre- and perinatal events are remembered ( perinatal means a numder of weeks, immediately before and after birth)
# prenates and infants take on their parents; unowned experiences and feelings
# pre- and perinatal experiences may have dramatic long-term effects ( positive and negative)
# prenatal and birth experiences can impair bonding

Common Early Experiences...
# being unwanted
# fertility assistance/in vitro
# induction/augmentation
# domestic stress or abuse
# separation from mom
# earlier pregnancy losses
# considering, planning or attempting abortion
# lack of empathy ('feeling')
# caesarean
# prenatal loss of twin
# drugs/toxins
# NICU

Their Possible Effects
# colic
# low self-esteem
# lack of inner awareness
# inability to start/finish
# bossiness
# easily startled
# hypervigilance (overly cautious)
# resistance to cuddling
# eating issues
# inconsolable crying
# fear, nervousness and restlessness
# developmental delays, learning disabilities
# defiance, resistance to following rules
# sleep disturbances
# anger and distrust
# lack of confidence
# hopelessness
# clinginess
# digestive upsets
# hypersensitivity
# neediness
# easily frustrated
# prolonged crying or no crying at all
# attachment/bonding problems
# allergies, asthma and physical ailments
# spatial disorientation, clumsiness

Which Often Manifest In Later Life As...
# having to stay in control
# body image problems
* restrained spirituality
# rage and violence
# chronic health problems
# inability to receive love
# money and career issues
# always being a 'victim' or 'drama queen/king'
# reduced access to inner wisdom and intuition
# lack of empathy
# eating disorders
# drug use/abuse
# anxiety disorders
# cynicism or despair
# never 'belonging'
# lack of presence
# sexual problems
# being out of touch with creativity
# difficulty with intimacy

This is taken from a website that offers services for parents and therapists working with children.

Personally, I find it hard to be convinced. Or is it actually a trait I have due to early experiences? *panic*

This is the best time for you to chat with your mom/dad. See if you're screwed up as an adult. I know I am.

My Day Today

Quote of the day: There's no such thing as a wrong decision. (You wouldn't make a decision, knowing it is wrong isn't it?)

It has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me. This morning was the climax. My angel boss whom I've been under for the past wonderful 6 working years announced his future endeavor in another company. He is the kind of boss who spoils the market, just like the ad exec who spent RM54k proposing to his girl on public billboard on V-day.

I had a nightmarish weekend. So this morning, it almost felt like a shock therapy. Daniel has been throwing tantrum fits since Friday. It's unlike his normal tantrums that ends quickly with some distraction. It felt as if he became this different being, like he's possessed. I thought he just had a tiring and overstimulated day but there seems to be more to it.

We'd start the day fine, him, being his usual happy self. Then something little will trigger his hour-long crying stunt. Any amount of consoling, talking or giving in did not help at all. When that stubborn brat wants something, he wants it! But even after giving him what he wants, he still continue his fit. He becomes this angry toddler who is stubborn and persistant and unreasonable. This I didn't understand at all. It's probably the ultimate demand of attention.

Let's see if you think he deserve a slap with this scenario that happened yesterday evening. I was preparing dinner, by the sink. He comes over and want to wash his cup on the pretext of playing with water. I let him. Then when water starts going into my washer, the water at the sink goes a little slower (piping system liddat wan). HE IS NOT AMUSED AT ALL LOR! He kicks and protests. I turn it to the max already. He kept protesting and crying. I explain a godzillion time to him.

Me: (turning on the tap to it's fullest) SEE, it's on

D: OPEN OPEN OPEN!

Me: Open already!

D: OPEN OPEN OPEN!

Me: See, this is off (turns off the tap), and this is open (turns on the tap)

D: OPEN OPEN OPEN!

Me: Look, it's open to the max! Come and feel it! (gestures him to prove my claim)

D: (pushes my hands away) OPEN OPEN OPEN!

Me: (xian)

D: OPEN OPEN OPEN

Me: (ignores him)

D: MUMMIEEE MUMMIEEE MUMMIEEEE (repeats this chant for the next one hour, ONE HOUR)

He'd resist any comforting but eventually he'd calm down and then he's back to his sweet adorable boy who understands things! Why? Why? Why?!

Tell me, macam kena rasuk right? It has never happened. At one point, in desperate measures, we brought him to a temple to sweep an amulet up and down his body seven times, burn the amulet, mix it with water and make him drink it. Being a Christian, I never believed in doing it, so imagine how desperate I was. Well, it didn't work, that I can tell you.

SO, we've decided to stop school for him. Obviously, he is not ready. At least we tried. He was so interested in going to school before this when I introduced nursery to him for the first time last year. Or so we believed.

After analysis, and still analyzing, I think it's the complete separation from his nanny. Plus, many factors pertaining a new environment, new caregivers, new friends, new life. It could also be a 'transition into toddlerhood' which occurs at around his age, around 3 years old (information courtesy of Angeline, the mama trouper). Tantrums, aggressive behaviour, defiance, you name it, they got it. Terrible twos/threes. I think it has begun.

But something made my day today.

Night terror

Quote of the day: It's what in your heart that makes you who you are.

He had it long ago, once or twice, usually when he has had an overstimulated day. This time, I anticipated it as he has just begun school, so understandably, the reaction to his new environment and new life will partly manifest itself through incidences of night terrors. Everything in the article below fits very well except for the sweating, breathing fast and rapid heart rate. All he does is moan and cry intermittently. It's night terror alright. I call it SHUT-UP-I-FEEL-LIKE-SLAPPING-YOU-RIGHT-THIS-INSTANCE.

Have you had the most weird conversation? It goes like this.

D: (whimpers and looks at me)

Me: What's wrong?

D: (whimpers and looks at me)

Me: Why?

D: (whimpers and looks at me)

Me: Are you in pain?

D: (whimpers and looks at me)

Me: Do you want water?

D: (whimpers and looks at me)

Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

D: (whimpers and looks at me)

Me: OK, mummy go to sleep now.

D: (cries)

It was 2am. I held him lovingly, I carried him and walked for a while, I sang a song, I kissed him, I patted his back, I spoke to him, I distracted him.

It wasn't him. It just wasn't.

He eventually fell back into slumber after half an hour. One mortal minute of that half an hour was distressing and it really tests your patience. I think my threshold is pretty high, from all the years of road traffic I put up with, especially coming across stupid jackass drivers.

He better make me a nice Mother's Day card this May.

"Night terrors are a common sleep problem among children. By some estimates, about 15% of younger children have occasional night terrors. Although most common in children between the ages of 2 and 6 years, they can occur at almost any age.
Although usually considered to be normal or benign, they are often very scary and distressing to parents who often overreact, especially during a child's first night terror.

When you hear how most experts describe night terrors, it is easy to see why parents find them distressing. Children who have night terrors are usually described as 'bolting upright' with their eyes wide open, with a look of fear and panic, and letting out a 'blood curdling scream'. These kids will usually also be sweating, breathing fast and have a rapid heart rate (autonomic signs).

And although it will seem like they are awake, during a night terror, children will appear confused, will not be consolable and won't recognize you.
Typical night terrors last about 5 to 30 minutes and afterwards, children usually return to a regular sleep. If you are able to wake your child up during a night terror, he is likely to become scared and agitated, mostly because of your own reaction to the night terror, especially if you were shaking or yelling at him to wake up. Instead of trying to wake up a child having a night terror, it is usually better to just make sure he is safe, comfort him if you can, and help him return to sleep once it is over.

No treatment is usually necessary for routine night terrors. Since they are often triggered in children who are overtired, sticking to a good bedtime routine and making sure your child is getting enough rest can help to prevent them.
For children who get frequent night terrors, it might help to wake your child up before the time that he usually has a night terror. This is thought to interrupt or alter the sleep cycle and prevent night terrors from occuring (it also works for sleepwalking).

Rarely, sleep medications might be used for a short time if your child gets very frequent night terrors

What You Need To Know:

Night terrors are also called sleep terrors or pavor nocturnus.

Similar to sleepwalking and sleeptalking, night terrors are considered to be a disorder of arousal and are a partial arousal from non-REM sleep.

Unlike a nightmare, children usually don't recall having a night terror.

Also unlike nightmares, night terrors usually occur in the early part of the night, about 1 to 4 hours after going to sleep.

If your child gets night terrors, make sure that baby sitters and other caregivers are aware of them and know what they should do if one occurs.

Most children outgrow night terrors as they get older."

Still Keeping Fingers Crossed...

Quote of the day: Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

How many of us are keeping our fingers crossed each day? If you are right now for whatever reason, I'm keeping mine crossed for you too.

Daniel's 5th day in nursery. I tried something different. When I dropped him off, instead of manja-ing him, you know the usual, "Aww, Daniel good boy OK, go to school OK, play with friends, mummy working" bla bla bla, in high pitch manja tone, which is returned with increasing decibels of wailing accompanied with a heart-wrenching "DON WAN DON WAAAAAAAAAN", I looked him in the eye and said to him firmly. "NO CRY, MUMMY WORKING OK". Immediately, he stopped his emotional blackmail stunts.

He is also sleeping earlier now. Instead of dozing off at 11.30pm, he now sleeps at 10pm. Hallelujah!

I had also discussed about adjusting my working hours with my angel boss and my angel director. I said I could cut an hour a day and prorate my salary. HR thinks it's cumbersome to calculate. I could take one month of no-pay leave, and cut an hour a day. Director said, "Just do it informally. It's alright with me. I believe you can adjust your time as you deem right. I know, even 15minutes can make a big difference in the traffic." We chatted a while more and I left her office with sunshine in my heart.

I reached the school at 6.15pm yesterday to pick him up. There were still many children around waiting for their parents. I reached home at 6.30pm. I couldn't believe it. Suddenly I have all this extra time which was a luxury for me in the past. And with Daniel sleeping earlier now, I have more time for myself. I believe I'm becoming happier.

Still keeping fingers crossed.

Stress stress stress

Quote of the day: Being a mother gives you the best joys and worst stresses in the world.

Daniel's 3rd full day in nursery. I called minutes ago to check on how he is doing. He sobs on the phone, "Mummy come, mummy come". I am typing my resignation letter. Sooooo close.

My angel boss, being a father of two, asked me how my son is doing in school so far.

"He cries and misses me a lot".

"Well, that is usually what happens. But you can't give up now because it'll only teach him to manipulate you by repeating this 'crying' method".

Generally it'll take a week for a child to settle in. Maybe two weeks depending on your child. I ask myself, is he ready? Someone told me, even in kindy for the first time at 6 years old, some kids still cry. Some, settle in with no problem at all.

I'm too anxious, or I'm too hard on him. I can't decide. Will this adversely affect his development in times to come? Can I counter it? Or will everything just work out the way it should be (my hardcore philosophy). Guilt is eating me alive.

The husband came home at 7am after pulling an all-nighter CNY gambling session at his buddy's place. This gambling fever usually lasts for a week or more based on previous years' record. But this would be the first overnight stunt. What I'm mad at is that there were no prior warning, no SMSes, no calls, nothing.

Frankly, I was shocked and mad, because it was already planned, including the intention NOT to inform me. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission. It would've been ok with me, so I feel this is a totally disrespectful thing to do to wives. That scheming snake. It saddens me because I am anything but a control queen. It saddens me because I feel like I've been tricked. It saddens me because he is my husband.

I have to admit. At times, I wish very hard that I'm not a mother and I'm not a wife. In fact I wish I live alone on a beautiful island, that has uninterrupted FAST wireless network and Haagen Dazs. I wish I am a nobody.

Sigh... this too shall pass.

Wished I Had A Clone

The most stressful time of the year for me has come. The hectic Chinese New Year (this applies especially if you are married with kids) and the annual Scientific Advisory Board Meeting. My workload at home and in the lab tripled. I have but one body. This year, the meeting is held in Bintan. Having a kid comes in handy because I have an excuse NOT to stay the night. My smartass unmarried colleague's excuse was "I have to watch my house". I ask her, "You dog ah".

On the 1st of Feb, a major event took over our lives and changed it in a way we never imagined. For a few hours, then everything was back to normal.


His first project in school. 99.9% done by teachers. It's a broom by the way. To sweep away the cookie crumbs I guess.


Did he cry? Oh boy he did. He wailed when I left the school. Same thing this morning. He cries when he sees me leaving, cries for a while more until it's breakfast time. Then he is kept busy with activities for the rest of the day. Another step in the journey of life.

I will be heading to Seremban today, and possibly Ipoh on Thursday, and back in JB on Saturday or Sunday. Any gatherings?

Gloomiest Day

News of the day: Heath Ledger is dead.

Traffic at the causeway was non-threatening and smooth today AND yesterday, even at 7.30am. Being a seasonal user of the causeway and the usual route to work in Xin-jia-puo, road traffic is so embeded in my life. It's like a stock market that will determine if you'll waste or save half an hour. Same for KL drivers I bet.

Daniel will officially start nursery on the 1st of February at NURI education centre, Danga Bay/Straits View. And yes to all you mothers out there nodding at what I'm about to say, the separation anxiety will be mostly on my part. I think I'll be the one crying at the front gate, reaching out to him as he is escorted into his classroom, screaming, "Baby baby I'll be here, mummy's here, NO, DON'T GO! COME BAAAAACK" as my eyes tear over the sign 'No Parents Allowed'. That'll be my proudest moment.

What I heard on the radio this morning, some psychologists formulated that the 3rd Monday of January is the gloomiest day of the year based on several factors.
1. Most likely to have the gloomiest weather.
2. Post-holiday monotony starts to sink in.
3. Christmas bills starts to arrive.
4. People start to break their New Year resolutions.

January is also the hot month for divorces, suicides and depression.

So, if you're one of 'em feeling very low and horribly depressed, imagine what teachers have to go through marking these papers..

MacBook Air

Quote of the day: This too, shall pass.


MacBook Air. World's thinnest notebook. For the wireless world. Oh god oh god oh god help me oh god. I'm so not kidding when I say I'm going to hump shamelessly at the first one I see. Watch the guided tour in apple.com. Prepare some tampons for nose bleed.