What I'm about to say, has probably happened to many married ladies out there at some point of their married life. Some keep to themselves and carry on with their daily lives, some joke about it.
Last night, the husband and I were chatting a bit in bed before sleep. I had this uneasy feeling I didn't know why. We talked about some usual bla bla stuff and then came to the topic of Tiger Woods and cheating. There was a pause for a while. Then out of the blue, he said in a low guilty tone,
"I'm sorry"
Silence. My heart skipped a beat.
Then it hit me. HARD.
THE STINKIEST MOST CONCENTRATED PUNGENT MIND-DIZZYING FART.
Oh, the uneasy feeling I had was probably from the chilli fries, chocolate ice cream, bread, prunes and keropok I had simultaneously.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I Forgot...
... I have a blog. Thank you placenta brain.
Like they say, second trimester is the best time of a pregnancy. I was up and about, crafting a lot, made wedding invites, cooked a bit, decorated my home a bit, ate a lot, gained some good weight, man, I wanted to do everything!
My favourite part is the eating bit. I have never had ravenous appetite before. The unpregnant me wished to eat a lot, but somehow I just can't. Now, I see cheesecake, I wallop. I can really eat and I love it!! In fact, during my 5th month, I gained 5 kg within a month or less. I was like "WOO HOO! COWABUNGA!" but the doctor was concerned about the rapid gain. Damn! Spoiler.
I'm entering the third dimension... I mean trimester. It feels heavier and heavier. Getting up from sitting position now requires 2 million calories and 50 billions ATPs ( energy compounds for those who forgotten their Biologi ), bullshit by the way, but it DOES feel like that. The human body is amazing don't you think.
I have to sleep early too. By the time I say '...and the dragon lived sadly alone, forever and ever. The end ", I konk out before Daniel has the time to ask me why this bedtime story sucks. Speaking of bedtime, my bedtime ritual is rubbing cocoa butter all over my belly. Nice. From previous experience, it helps with the itching and dryness.
Lately, the fetus has been hiccuping. So cute. If you're curious, here's why:
"...only more mature fetuses hiccup in the womb because their central nervous system is adequately developed in order to allow this to happen. It is believed that the fetus breathes in amniotic fluid or drinks it. When this happens and the amniotic fluid enters and exits the fetus lungs then the diaphragm contracts and hiccups results. Fetal hiccups appear to be extremely normal ..."
What else... ah, contractions. Do not panic! They're just Braxton-Hicks, they come and go now and then, few times a day. It feels like a tightening of the belly, like a 'practice contraction' or toning of the uteral muscles in preparation of labour. This also means, I should drink more water and sit down for a while...
..and the use 50 billions ATPs to get up.
Like they say, second trimester is the best time of a pregnancy. I was up and about, crafting a lot, made wedding invites, cooked a bit, decorated my home a bit, ate a lot, gained some good weight, man, I wanted to do everything!
My favourite part is the eating bit. I have never had ravenous appetite before. The unpregnant me wished to eat a lot, but somehow I just can't. Now, I see cheesecake, I wallop. I can really eat and I love it!! In fact, during my 5th month, I gained 5 kg within a month or less. I was like "WOO HOO! COWABUNGA!" but the doctor was concerned about the rapid gain. Damn! Spoiler.
I'm entering the third dimension... I mean trimester. It feels heavier and heavier. Getting up from sitting position now requires 2 million calories and 50 billions ATPs ( energy compounds for those who forgotten their Biologi ), bullshit by the way, but it DOES feel like that. The human body is amazing don't you think.
I have to sleep early too. By the time I say '...and the dragon lived sadly alone, forever and ever. The end ", I konk out before Daniel has the time to ask me why this bedtime story sucks. Speaking of bedtime, my bedtime ritual is rubbing cocoa butter all over my belly. Nice. From previous experience, it helps with the itching and dryness.
Lately, the fetus has been hiccuping. So cute. If you're curious, here's why:
"...only more mature fetuses hiccup in the womb because their central nervous system is adequately developed in order to allow this to happen. It is believed that the fetus breathes in amniotic fluid or drinks it. When this happens and the amniotic fluid enters and exits the fetus lungs then the diaphragm contracts and hiccups results. Fetal hiccups appear to be extremely normal ..."
What else... ah, contractions. Do not panic! They're just Braxton-Hicks, they come and go now and then, few times a day. It feels like a tightening of the belly, like a 'practice contraction' or toning of the uteral muscles in preparation of labour. This also means, I should drink more water and sit down for a while...
..and the use 50 billions ATPs to get up.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Orgasmic Childbirth
NOT kidding.
During my last check-up, last weekend, I asked my gynae if I have to deliver by Caesarean again this time. My impression on private practices are that they go for shortcuts and we pay for them big-time. I was surprised he said that I could try for a natural birth. I was a candidate for VBAC! (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) The thought of walking right after delivery was appealing to me!
Then I started to get nervous, like any new mother-to-be would, because this would feel like my first childbirth. Though my body went through labour (painless) and I was half-way dilated, I never get to deliver a baby like what Nature intended us to. I think I can handle pain quite well, but I also tend to panic easily and then 'freeze'. What if I can't handle the pain at the most crucial moment?!! WORST, what if my scar tears open during the process?? (Uterine rupture, can cause maternal and or fetal death, are you scared are you scared). This is the risk of VBAC, though reportedly at a low percentage. But still there's a percentage. Aren't we all part of statistics? I hate statistics.
So, I started scouting around for VBAC information, leading to natural childbirth experiences, leading to.... jeng jeng jeng... this weird trend of birth perception. ORGASMIC childbirth.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
I can't really describe it much because as the name implies, it is a painless but pleasurable mind-blowing ecstatic childbirth.
Here are some testimonials and excerpts from a site:
"Many mothers experience a burning or splitting sensation as the largest diameter of the baby's head passes through the birth outlet. Some actually experience orgasm."
-From Mind Over Labor, by Carl Jones, C.C.E.
".....The sensation of my daughter's body sliding out of my vagina was orgasmic. I still shudder when I think of how pleasurable that was."
-Caroline S.
"A woman in California was giving birth at home in a portable birth tub and feeling very sexy and loving with her partner. Each time she had a contraction she would cry out, 'Oh, baby, I love it. More...more!' Her windows were open because it was July, and soon a crowd gathered outside her home. When the baby was born amidst shouts of 'Yes!!! Yes!!! Oh, my God, yes!!!' her neighbors gave her a great round of applause. They only realized that it was a birth after they heard the cries of a baby."
-From Gentle Birth Choices, by Barbara Harper, R.N.
Sounds crazy. Is this really the best-kept secret? Is it... POSSIBLE??? Those ang mohs really full of ideas. They do homebirths where they sit in a bathtub during labour and birth. Do Malaysians do that I wonder? I know in some rural kampungs, they have midwives to assist the birth at home, but we city folks just go into the hospital, get epidural, or not, and get hooked onto tubes and monitors on fancy birthing beds or go straight to the operating room. Modern times.
No, no, don't get me wrong, I don't want a homebirth. But I'm attracted to the idea of having a labour coach, and midwives, and of course a doctor in case something happens, in a hospital setting. Support is what a labouring woman needs. And maybe... an orgasm. LOL.
During my last check-up, last weekend, I asked my gynae if I have to deliver by Caesarean again this time. My impression on private practices are that they go for shortcuts and we pay for them big-time. I was surprised he said that I could try for a natural birth. I was a candidate for VBAC! (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) The thought of walking right after delivery was appealing to me!
Then I started to get nervous, like any new mother-to-be would, because this would feel like my first childbirth. Though my body went through labour (painless) and I was half-way dilated, I never get to deliver a baby like what Nature intended us to. I think I can handle pain quite well, but I also tend to panic easily and then 'freeze'. What if I can't handle the pain at the most crucial moment?!! WORST, what if my scar tears open during the process?? (Uterine rupture, can cause maternal and or fetal death, are you scared are you scared). This is the risk of VBAC, though reportedly at a low percentage. But still there's a percentage. Aren't we all part of statistics? I hate statistics.
So, I started scouting around for VBAC information, leading to natural childbirth experiences, leading to.... jeng jeng jeng... this weird trend of birth perception. ORGASMIC childbirth.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
I can't really describe it much because as the name implies, it is a painless but pleasurable mind-blowing ecstatic childbirth.
Here are some testimonials and excerpts from a site:
"Many mothers experience a burning or splitting sensation as the largest diameter of the baby's head passes through the birth outlet. Some actually experience orgasm."
-From Mind Over Labor, by Carl Jones, C.C.E.
".....The sensation of my daughter's body sliding out of my vagina was orgasmic. I still shudder when I think of how pleasurable that was."
-Caroline S.
"A woman in California was giving birth at home in a portable birth tub and feeling very sexy and loving with her partner. Each time she had a contraction she would cry out, 'Oh, baby, I love it. More...more!' Her windows were open because it was July, and soon a crowd gathered outside her home. When the baby was born amidst shouts of 'Yes!!! Yes!!! Oh, my God, yes!!!' her neighbors gave her a great round of applause. They only realized that it was a birth after they heard the cries of a baby."
-From Gentle Birth Choices, by Barbara Harper, R.N.
Sounds crazy. Is this really the best-kept secret? Is it... POSSIBLE??? Those ang mohs really full of ideas. They do homebirths where they sit in a bathtub during labour and birth. Do Malaysians do that I wonder? I know in some rural kampungs, they have midwives to assist the birth at home, but we city folks just go into the hospital, get epidural, or not, and get hooked onto tubes and monitors on fancy birthing beds or go straight to the operating room. Modern times.
No, no, don't get me wrong, I don't want a homebirth. But I'm attracted to the idea of having a labour coach, and midwives, and of course a doctor in case something happens, in a hospital setting. Support is what a labouring woman needs. And maybe... an orgasm. LOL.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Time Flies
With the end of the year approaching, I always think of you, all my dear friends. From my Convent schoolmates, to my UPM buddies. Wherever you are, I hope you are all happy, and doing alright, well-fed, well-clothed, and comfortable.
This year, I have so much to thank for. Everything is good that it worries me that it's too good to be true. And I'm sometimes convinced that good things, or even bad, never lasts. So I should never take things for granted. And always be ready for your worst nightmare because you never know when or if it will happen.
I'm a bit pensive recently, something like in a reflection mood, that's why I'm writing this. Perhaps I've been reading the newspaper everyday and there are kids and people dying, freak accidents, illnesses and terrible things that happen to good normal folks like you and me. As much as I believe in fate and destiny, I can't help by ask why did these tragedies happen, and why fucktards are the ones alive and terrorizing others and this supposedly peaceful world.
OK, someone please slap me.
This year, I have so much to thank for. Everything is good that it worries me that it's too good to be true. And I'm sometimes convinced that good things, or even bad, never lasts. So I should never take things for granted. And always be ready for your worst nightmare because you never know when or if it will happen.
I'm a bit pensive recently, something like in a reflection mood, that's why I'm writing this. Perhaps I've been reading the newspaper everyday and there are kids and people dying, freak accidents, illnesses and terrible things that happen to good normal folks like you and me. As much as I believe in fate and destiny, I can't help by ask why did these tragedies happen, and why fucktards are the ones alive and terrorizing others and this supposedly peaceful world.
OK, someone please slap me.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Tera Thai @ JB
Looking for fine Thai-dining in Johor Bahru? We got it.
Tera Thai at Jalan Abdul Samad. The old colonial government bungalow converted into a BEAUTIFUL cozy restaurant with authentic delicious Thai cuisine. Seriously good.
Starters for the set lunch. I didn't take any pictures after that because I was dizzy with spiciness.
My aunt got a treat right after lunch. A free promotional 10 min Thai massage.
The Spa.
Tera Thai at Jalan Abdul Samad. The old colonial government bungalow converted into a BEAUTIFUL cozy restaurant with authentic delicious Thai cuisine. Seriously good.
Starters for the set lunch. I didn't take any pictures after that because I was dizzy with spiciness.
My aunt got a treat right after lunch. A free promotional 10 min Thai massage.
The Spa.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
A Tease Boy
The 20-plus-th week scan which is also called an anatomy scan was exciting. My 'replacement' gynae is a thorough one.
Sometimes, I'm really amazed at the doctors who could really read an ultrasound scan of a fetus. The doctor could see the nose and the lips of the baby's face and I'm like... HUH, what did I miss? What is that shadow? What is that thingy moving?
I'm also amazed at how he could zoom in to view the beating heart, and all its chambers and walls. The spine was easy to see of course. Then we looked at the diaphragm the tissue muscle separating the thorax and the abdomen. All is well.
Then, jeng jeng jeng. I wasn't really hard up to know about it, but E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E has been asking me to the point that it made me curious too. The thighs were close together at first.
"Oh, ooo, could be a girl" Doctor made a guess.
And then, this baby is such a teaser, the legs actually slowly opened at that moment to reveal his you-know-what. It was a funny moment. Definitely a boy. Unless that's the umbilical cord. Or maybe an obscene finger gesture.
What a thrill. Everyone hoped I'd have a girl. Isn't this natural? Well, I think it's a still blessing. A child is a gift indeed.
Sometimes, I'm really amazed at the doctors who could really read an ultrasound scan of a fetus. The doctor could see the nose and the lips of the baby's face and I'm like... HUH, what did I miss? What is that shadow? What is that thingy moving?
I'm also amazed at how he could zoom in to view the beating heart, and all its chambers and walls. The spine was easy to see of course. Then we looked at the diaphragm the tissue muscle separating the thorax and the abdomen. All is well.
Then, jeng jeng jeng. I wasn't really hard up to know about it, but E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E has been asking me to the point that it made me curious too. The thighs were close together at first.
"Oh, ooo, could be a girl" Doctor made a guess.
And then, this baby is such a teaser, the legs actually slowly opened at that moment to reveal his you-know-what. It was a funny moment. Definitely a boy. Unless that's the umbilical cord. Or maybe an obscene finger gesture.
What a thrill. Everyone hoped I'd have a girl. Isn't this natural? Well, I think it's a still blessing. A child is a gift indeed.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
One week At Home
SO.
My wonderful helper tita is in Philippines this whole week for a short vacation, so am I. At home. But I'm still sorta working. I have 50 wedding invites to finish, and other than that, I must say I have obsessively done some items for my etsy shop and for Nature Recipes.
Some of my favourite things for now.
Packaging packaging packaging.
My wonderful helper tita is in Philippines this whole week for a short vacation, so am I. At home. But I'm still sorta working. I have 50 wedding invites to finish, and other than that, I must say I have obsessively done some items for my etsy shop and for Nature Recipes.
Some of my favourite things for now.
Packaging packaging packaging.
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