Monday, November 26, 2007

Another Progress Report *yawn*

Quote of the day: I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house -Zsa Zsa Gabor





Bored looking at half-done houses? Me too.

Another IKEA mask: $4.90

A chance to be laughed at: Priceless.


***
Caught this carnal error in Motor Trader magazine, THE nation's top magazine for buying-selling used cars. It should be 'intercool'.

OH YEAH BABY I WOULD LUUURRRVVEEE SOME TURBO INTERCOUSE! GIVE IT TO ME YOU HOT THROBBING DADDY OF A NISSAN! I wonder if the owner's phone is ringing off the hook lately.

Friday, November 16, 2007

The Progress

Quote of the day: If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. -Lynda Barry






Such a mess ain't it. RE-tiling the bathroom, as you can see, it's not done well. The 'head' of the team is redoing it without extra charges because it's his fault. I went sink-shopping yesterday in a bathroom shop. It helps when DADDY is the bargaining king contractor and we get kickass contractor discounts. Do you realize our parents or the older folks' bargaining power is 100X of us? Here's a classic example.

Bulldog-face senior man: How much. (note that it's not a question)
Salesman with 10 years experience: Including the accessories, $450 for you
BFSM: *glares at salesman with bulldog face*
Salesman: Boss, include peripheral (technical jargon).... ok ok, $380
BFSM: *walks off to see another item while ignoring salesman* WOW, such display of commanding power!

Amazingly, they always reach a deal amicably.

I also saw cute mini toilets and matching sinks for toddlers. Daniel stood beside it and almost pulled down his pants while saying "Shu shu".

IKEA alien mask: $4.90
A chance to laugh at your own kid behind the camera: Priceless.

He also love the dragon/dinosaur hand puppet, it's like his good friend now.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Home

Out-of-office reply of the day: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 
for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your 
message.

Front porch.


Stairways.


"My XBOX sits here OK" Daniel's new room.


The Royal Chamber.


The master bathroom. Old tiles removed. Actually, this rustic 'refugee-war-camp' look is rather nice. Grow some creeping plants, add rain-shower, play some jungle sounds, get a monkey to watch the door... eh, I have one already.


At this point, as a very evil mother, I was hoping that water will burst out of the pipe without warning, thereby catapulting him into the air where he screams like a girl... eh, he does that already.


From the landing, looking down. There used to be a wall on the right side. Without it, the stairway is brighter. I'm converting the stairs into escalators. Then I'm buying a house in Jupiter Island, Florida where Tiger Woods is renovating his mansion.Might as well right...


We'll be in Seremban & KL this long weekend break. Happy Holidays!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Hokkien LOTR & James Bond


A Good Wife's Guide

Out-of-office reply of the day: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and 
is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and 
try sending again.'

( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-
duh-viduals did this over and over).



I present to you, the ACTUAL 1955 Good Housekeeping Article.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put on a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. his boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don’t’ ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.
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I fell off my chair.

Now we have inventions like these 'comfort' pillows for perverted thigh-deprived men.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

The Perfect Swing

Out-of-office reply of the day: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain 
removed so that I may be promoted to management.

If you appreciate golf....
video

video

Compacto desioneh!