Monday, August 18, 2008

Yeah Yeah

I'm exhausted, numb, dazed and care-less.

I realized I can't change the fact that after all these years in my life so far, no matter how I tried, I AM a private person. Crowds, noise, movements, going places, talking and laughing perpetually, AND keeping a watchful eye on DC all at the same time, results in today's mood and probably for the rest of the week. It's age, it's my character, whatever.

Bleh. That's the word.

I feel like I just came back from the Olympics in the sport of entertaining. Battered, bruised and lost.

The actual reasons are :
1. DC is a bag of bricks. These days, I can't carry him for long. But I had to, yesterday. In a mall. Up. Down. To see fish. To play at the modern mall playground. To yank him out of the playground. To sooth him. To bear with his crankiness due to skipping naptime. Cook. Clean. Laundry. Here. There. Everywhere.
2. The mental energy draining love-hate relationship with my mother. She's so kanchiong and gabra, she made my blood pressure up in 2 minutes! On the phone! No, no, I don't blame her. It's not her fault. She is the way she is and I accept that. But I also accept that she makes me feel like I want to kill myself sometimes. Everyone, at some point experience this love-hate thingy with their mothers/fathers... right?

I was in a good mood. That was why I didn't explode. I would've burst into tears, and made a scene in front of my relatives. I would've snapped. At my mom, at my husband, at my son. But I didn't. I couldn't care anymore. I just sat back, smiled and said,"Yeah yeah".

I should start looking for an island on sale.

I want eyelashes like that.

NO. I want to close my eyes like that and sleep until I feel like I can take on the world!

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