Wednesday, November 14, 2012
8 Years and Counting...
Last week, we were married for 8 years. It has been an amazing journey so far, and we're stronger today than ever before, and I look forward to many more years of togetherness.
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
Thursday, November 01, 2012
Emotional Closure After Miscarriage
I googgled exactly this. I thought it would probably return with 1 match linking to You Are Crazy Just Move On Bitch. But nooo... I was surprised that this is such a validated topic that seeks recognition by sufferers AND therapists, mostly Westerners. I have never heard of 'emotional closure' in Chinese, have you? Maybe to Chinese, the month-long confinement is part of the emotional closure. Get drunk and happy on wine chicken everyday speeds up the emotional healing, yes?
Anyway, this emotional closure is something I needed. I'm not sure if I had it, from the time it happened in April 2011 to recent days, I may have had it in some form but I may not be aware. I did all I could to have closure, you know. I named him, I even got obsessed with bunnies and bought a bunny soft toy and a figurine to represent him, I turned to my blog for expression, I cried for cathartic release, I kept doing what I enjoyed and what made me happy. But somehow, something's not complete.
The reason I'm searching for this now is my recent observation of my moodiness.
A friend pointed out that I may have post-natal depression, perhaps a mild and delayed one, I thought. But it's been more than a year, am I a 'slow developer'? Hee. Nevertheless, a depression is a depression and it could strain my relationship with the husband, which I felt has already happened. I am not as emotionally engaged as before. I keep a lot of things to myself. I don't even chat about mundane everyday stuff anymore. And these are actually the little things that keep a couple engaged and happy. I am withdrawing into my own world, and get upset occasionally if he does not 'seek' me. Maybe I want to be rescued.
So, back to the Google search, my little cyber support group. I pulled out some excerpts that resonated with me.
"..After my first miscarraige I was devisated. I drove for hours alone & in the darkness. I have only blurrs of memories of that evening. I was parked in a closed park. Then I was on the shoulder of the highway. Then I found myself back in my doctor's parking lot. Her office had been closed for hours & not even one light was on. But, somehow I felt like I had left my baby there. I needed it back! I kept my feelings inside because everyone in my family kept saying, "At least it happened early & you couldn't get attached.". It went unacknowledged except for the, "I'm sorrys". Is that what you say to a still born's parents? We had no closure. No funeral. No mass. Nothing. Not even a face to remember.
8 years have gone by and I'm still devistated. Not once does a day go by that I don't feel someone missing at the dinner table. " -taken from here. The writer also listed 5 ways to get closure.
"...I blogged every thought I had. Once I had it figured out enough to commit the thought to paper, it stopped swimming in my head and gave each topic a sense of closure. My grief counselor even confirmed that there are synaptic changes in the brain when you get a thought organized and finalized by writing it down so I wasn't just imagining that closure.
Write letters to the baby, write a diary, or blog, whichever best suits your personality and privacy preferences. It doesn't completely wipe the thought away, but I'd say it takes 95% of it out of your head, and if you can get rid of 95% of each of the thoughts and horribleness, that's quite a lot. The remaining 5% becomes much more manageable." -taken from here.
And this is probably the Mother of all hits. I have a couple of excerpts from this article written by a lady gynae:
"...When I tell a woman that she is not crazy for having feelings about her miscarriage and that her loss is real no matter if she miscarried in the 6th week of pregnancy or in the 6th month, she always looks relieved. I have validated her feelings."
"...comforting words might serve to disavow a woman's experience of loss rather than allowing room for it. Commonly heard expressions like, "It was early in your pregnancy," "Miscarriage is not uncommon," or "You'll have other chances" might be interpreted by a woman to mean "This happens all the time. It's no big deal. You don't have to get so upset." On the receiving end of such tarnished comfort a woman might be left feeling guilty for feeling grief stricken, after all, miscarriage, she is told, is not "uncommon". Or she might feel angry and think to herself, "No one understands what I'm going through!! I don't care if miscarriages happen all the time. It's a big deal to me and I feel wrecked!" Then she might find herself feeling isolated and alone in her experience"
This is how I felt. Alone.
And then it struck me yesterday. I have been alone, and rejected. The hubz said my body was weak and that I should rebuild my health back (IF we were to try for another one). He meant it as a matter of fact, harmless indeed, but to a woman who has miscarried, I interpreted is as "It is my fault, my body is weak" because there is a phase when you ask a lot of questions on why it happened, what caused it, what did I do wrong etc (see article above). And what he said affirmed it more. "It was my fault, and your fault alone"... that's what my head says. That was why I got upset and moody almost every week, every time he goes out for drinks. I felt alone and rejected.
I guess I'm unravelling the emotional closure I need. An apology and assurance from my husband. Assurance that he still loves and cares for me. An assurance that it wasn't my fault. An assurance that he will be my side side through it all.
Update: Isn't it funny, after having these thoughts 'keyed' down, I felt a huge sense of relief. I didn't ask or that apology. The fact that I recognize the cause was enough for now. Knowledge is indeed empowering.
Anyway, this emotional closure is something I needed. I'm not sure if I had it, from the time it happened in April 2011 to recent days, I may have had it in some form but I may not be aware. I did all I could to have closure, you know. I named him, I even got obsessed with bunnies and bought a bunny soft toy and a figurine to represent him, I turned to my blog for expression, I cried for cathartic release, I kept doing what I enjoyed and what made me happy. But somehow, something's not complete.
The reason I'm searching for this now is my recent observation of my moodiness.
A friend pointed out that I may have post-natal depression, perhaps a mild and delayed one, I thought. But it's been more than a year, am I a 'slow developer'? Hee. Nevertheless, a depression is a depression and it could strain my relationship with the husband, which I felt has already happened. I am not as emotionally engaged as before. I keep a lot of things to myself. I don't even chat about mundane everyday stuff anymore. And these are actually the little things that keep a couple engaged and happy. I am withdrawing into my own world, and get upset occasionally if he does not 'seek' me. Maybe I want to be rescued.
So, back to the Google search, my little cyber support group. I pulled out some excerpts that resonated with me.
"..After my first miscarraige I was devisated. I drove for hours alone & in the darkness. I have only blurrs of memories of that evening. I was parked in a closed park. Then I was on the shoulder of the highway. Then I found myself back in my doctor's parking lot. Her office had been closed for hours & not even one light was on. But, somehow I felt like I had left my baby there. I needed it back! I kept my feelings inside because everyone in my family kept saying, "At least it happened early & you couldn't get attached.". It went unacknowledged except for the, "I'm sorrys". Is that what you say to a still born's parents? We had no closure. No funeral. No mass. Nothing. Not even a face to remember.
8 years have gone by and I'm still devistated. Not once does a day go by that I don't feel someone missing at the dinner table. " -taken from here. The writer also listed 5 ways to get closure.
"...I blogged every thought I had. Once I had it figured out enough to commit the thought to paper, it stopped swimming in my head and gave each topic a sense of closure. My grief counselor even confirmed that there are synaptic changes in the brain when you get a thought organized and finalized by writing it down so I wasn't just imagining that closure.
Write letters to the baby, write a diary, or blog, whichever best suits your personality and privacy preferences. It doesn't completely wipe the thought away, but I'd say it takes 95% of it out of your head, and if you can get rid of 95% of each of the thoughts and horribleness, that's quite a lot. The remaining 5% becomes much more manageable." -taken from here.
And this is probably the Mother of all hits. I have a couple of excerpts from this article written by a lady gynae:
"...When I tell a woman that she is not crazy for having feelings about her miscarriage and that her loss is real no matter if she miscarried in the 6th week of pregnancy or in the 6th month, she always looks relieved. I have validated her feelings."
"...comforting words might serve to disavow a woman's experience of loss rather than allowing room for it. Commonly heard expressions like, "It was early in your pregnancy," "Miscarriage is not uncommon," or "You'll have other chances" might be interpreted by a woman to mean "This happens all the time. It's no big deal. You don't have to get so upset." On the receiving end of such tarnished comfort a woman might be left feeling guilty for feeling grief stricken, after all, miscarriage, she is told, is not "uncommon". Or she might feel angry and think to herself, "No one understands what I'm going through!! I don't care if miscarriages happen all the time. It's a big deal to me and I feel wrecked!" Then she might find herself feeling isolated and alone in her experience"
This is how I felt. Alone.
And then it struck me yesterday. I have been alone, and rejected. The hubz said my body was weak and that I should rebuild my health back (IF we were to try for another one). He meant it as a matter of fact, harmless indeed, but to a woman who has miscarried, I interpreted is as "It is my fault, my body is weak" because there is a phase when you ask a lot of questions on why it happened, what caused it, what did I do wrong etc (see article above). And what he said affirmed it more. "It was my fault, and your fault alone"... that's what my head says. That was why I got upset and moody almost every week, every time he goes out for drinks. I felt alone and rejected.
I guess I'm unravelling the emotional closure I need. An apology and assurance from my husband. Assurance that he still loves and cares for me. An assurance that it wasn't my fault. An assurance that he will be my side side through it all.
Update: Isn't it funny, after having these thoughts 'keyed' down, I felt a huge sense of relief. I didn't ask or that apology. The fact that I recognize the cause was enough for now. Knowledge is indeed empowering.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Is this a dream?
How beautiful this is. Autumm Kochia Hill in Japan.
Reminds me of the forest in The Lorax.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Moody Cause
A little psychoanalysis. I noticed I get moody every week. Since April. I get a little depressed and loony, especially with the husband, sometimes for no apparent reason, not for what he did, but what he DIDN'T do. EVERY WEEK. It's crazy I know, and I'm kinda fed-up with myself. Do you know how emotionally tiring it is? I'm this happy chirpy girl who has to be angry every week. What gives, girl?
There must be a reason of some kind, I thought. A possible cause?
I'm filling my void with emotional junk. Yes, that's it. I healed physically, but I may not have paid much attention to emotional healing. We went back to our lives as if nothing happened. We never talked much or deeply about it. We never had any memorial of some sort. It was just too emotional for us, at least for me until now. He worked harder in the meantime, and had gotten stressed out at work, while I needed more attention. But I couldn't express it because I was clueless. I was just this occasionally-loony wife crying in the dark, mad at her husband, mad at herself and completely out of control of her emotions. Did I say I was clueless?
Thank goodness, I have my craft station.
There must be a reason of some kind, I thought. A possible cause?
I'm filling my void with emotional junk. Yes, that's it. I healed physically, but I may not have paid much attention to emotional healing. We went back to our lives as if nothing happened. We never talked much or deeply about it. We never had any memorial of some sort. It was just too emotional for us, at least for me until now. He worked harder in the meantime, and had gotten stressed out at work, while I needed more attention. But I couldn't express it because I was clueless. I was just this occasionally-loony wife crying in the dark, mad at her husband, mad at herself and completely out of control of her emotions. Did I say I was clueless?
Thank goodness, I have my craft station.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Married to Smartphones
This has been brewing in my heart for a long time now (uh-oh) and I often feel sad and disappointed in the way things are nowadays.
What happened to the good old ways of hanging out together, communicating, cuddling and such in a home that was once filled with physical connections, lots of personal affections and trivial casual chit-chats. Those were so natural, like subconscious reflex. Now, the subconscious reflex is to reach for your smartphone regardless of whether there is a message alert beep or not.
Why is he whatsapping so much? Why is he playing games instead when we have a rare chance of lying in bed together just to chat after the kids are asleep? And if he's looking at his phone so often, why can't he reply a small favour I texted? Why didn't he texted me back? Why doesn't he call me during the day just to hear my voice? Why doesn't he leave me sweet-nothings messages?
The smartphones have taken away the romance. And I am miserable. I am genetically a romantic person. I am also a Piscean. I thrive on dreamland and affections. That is just who I am. My subconscious reflex, is to hug. I'm a hugger, a kisser, a tickler, a smoocher, a pecker, a holder. That is why I adore children because I could do all these so naturally. But when smartphones arrived in my home, I no longer felt I could be myself, the hugger. I want to, but I don't want to, why should I always be the romantic one? Resentment grew each day. It is miresable not being able to be yourself.
I even prayed. Daily. For God to give me abundance of love, for patience, to accept, for strength to be a loving wife amidst being chopped liver. But Samsung won (alongside the newspaper and the Golf Channel).
And what I'm most mad at is that he doesn't 'get it'. He doesn't sense that I need attention too. And the romantics HATE to have to spell it out loud. There was no way I could simply say, "Hey baby, put the phone/newspaper/remote down and have a chat with me, please?". Because that is NOT. ROMANTIC. And after being together for more than ten years, I expected some sensitivity towards my.. you know, body language, expression, and most importantly, what I'm NOT saying. I know, romantics are very hard to be with.
Then it struck me. As naturally as I am a romantic, men are naturally wired to be addicted to gadgets. It's the same as watching TV, especially if it's a good movie, your eyes are fixated on the screen and you just can't move away. It is also the same as driving by an accident scene on the road. We are all 'wired' to look. Darn it then why can't men be wired to be mutually romantic?
What happened to the good old ways of hanging out together, communicating, cuddling and such in a home that was once filled with physical connections, lots of personal affections and trivial casual chit-chats. Those were so natural, like subconscious reflex. Now, the subconscious reflex is to reach for your smartphone regardless of whether there is a message alert beep or not.
Why is he whatsapping so much? Why is he playing games instead when we have a rare chance of lying in bed together just to chat after the kids are asleep? And if he's looking at his phone so often, why can't he reply a small favour I texted? Why didn't he texted me back? Why doesn't he call me during the day just to hear my voice? Why doesn't he leave me sweet-nothings messages?
The smartphones have taken away the romance. And I am miserable. I am genetically a romantic person. I am also a Piscean. I thrive on dreamland and affections. That is just who I am. My subconscious reflex, is to hug. I'm a hugger, a kisser, a tickler, a smoocher, a pecker, a holder. That is why I adore children because I could do all these so naturally. But when smartphones arrived in my home, I no longer felt I could be myself, the hugger. I want to, but I don't want to, why should I always be the romantic one? Resentment grew each day. It is miresable not being able to be yourself.
I even prayed. Daily. For God to give me abundance of love, for patience, to accept, for strength to be a loving wife amidst being chopped liver. But Samsung won (alongside the newspaper and the Golf Channel).
And what I'm most mad at is that he doesn't 'get it'. He doesn't sense that I need attention too. And the romantics HATE to have to spell it out loud. There was no way I could simply say, "Hey baby, put the phone/newspaper/remote down and have a chat with me, please?". Because that is NOT. ROMANTIC. And after being together for more than ten years, I expected some sensitivity towards my.. you know, body language, expression, and most importantly, what I'm NOT saying. I know, romantics are very hard to be with.
Then it struck me. As naturally as I am a romantic, men are naturally wired to be addicted to gadgets. It's the same as watching TV, especially if it's a good movie, your eyes are fixated on the screen and you just can't move away. It is also the same as driving by an accident scene on the road. We are all 'wired' to look. Darn it then why can't men be wired to be mutually romantic?
Monday, October 08, 2012
Doraemon Melts Hearts...
Couple of weekends ago, we popped over to City Square JB to meet Doraemon to celebrate his -100th Anniversary. HOW CUTE IS THAT. Minus 100th. Why?
Because he's from the future. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Get it? Get it?
OK.
The meet-and-greet sessions were held at the ground floor atrium, together with stalls and stalls of mooncakes. And of course, there is a Doraemon mooncake stall. LOVE the Honey Jackfruit and Mango Tango ones. OH SO DELISH. Buy four and you get a free adorable bag! (will take pic)
When Doraemon and his gang come, they bring along the huge collections of souvenirs ranging from clothes (babies and adults), pillows, quilt covers, bedsheet sets, stationery, food containers, water bottles, lanyards, soft toys, room slippers, the whole caboodle!
AND YOU WANT TO BUY THEM ALL. The blue is hypnotic I tell you. It tells you to splurge.
The whole gang. Like Smurfette, Shizuka is the only girl that hangs out with them.
The free bag that came with 4 mooncakes.
Photo print of the meet-n-greet session. RM25.
Because he's from the future. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Get it? Get it?
OK.
The meet-and-greet sessions were held at the ground floor atrium, together with stalls and stalls of mooncakes. And of course, there is a Doraemon mooncake stall. LOVE the Honey Jackfruit and Mango Tango ones. OH SO DELISH. Buy four and you get a free adorable bag! (will take pic)
When Doraemon and his gang come, they bring along the huge collections of souvenirs ranging from clothes (babies and adults), pillows, quilt covers, bedsheet sets, stationery, food containers, water bottles, lanyards, soft toys, room slippers, the whole caboodle!
AND YOU WANT TO BUY THEM ALL. The blue is hypnotic I tell you. It tells you to splurge.
The whole gang. Like Smurfette, Shizuka is the only girl that hangs out with them.
The free bag that came with 4 mooncakes.
Photo print of the meet-n-greet session. RM25.
Friday, October 05, 2012
IKEA Swedish Meatballs
Easy dinner.
What you need to buy from the IKEA food section:
1 pack of meatballs. Serves 6 gluttons. I assume there are 60 balls in the pack. The ones in Singapore are made of beef and pork I think.
A jar of MUST-HAVE Lingonberry jam. Condiments to the entire meal.
A packet of the sauce powder.
Whipping cream. Or cream for cooking/whipping. Bought mine from Giant.
Potatoes. Peeled and boiled, and halved.
Protocol:
1. Heat the meatballs in a single layer on a baking tray. Bake the frozen balls directly in a preheated oven at about 170 degrees Celsius for 15-20 minutes.
2. Make the gravy by boiling 280ml of water, then pour in 70ml of cream. Empty the packet of gravy powder and stir while boiling. The powder clumped a bit so I had to 'press' the clumps against the pot to dissolve them completely. One packet serves 4.
3. Serve ten meatballs per pax on a plate, pour gravy generously on top, along with 2 halved boiled potatoes, and 3 spoonfuls of Lingonberry jam at the side.
Easy peasy!
What you need to buy from the IKEA food section:
1 pack of meatballs. Serves 6 gluttons. I assume there are 60 balls in the pack. The ones in Singapore are made of beef and pork I think.
A jar of MUST-HAVE Lingonberry jam. Condiments to the entire meal.
A packet of the sauce powder.
Whipping cream. Or cream for cooking/whipping. Bought mine from Giant.
Potatoes. Peeled and boiled, and halved.
Protocol:
1. Heat the meatballs in a single layer on a baking tray. Bake the frozen balls directly in a preheated oven at about 170 degrees Celsius for 15-20 minutes.
2. Make the gravy by boiling 280ml of water, then pour in 70ml of cream. Empty the packet of gravy powder and stir while boiling. The powder clumped a bit so I had to 'press' the clumps against the pot to dissolve them completely. One packet serves 4.
3. Serve ten meatballs per pax on a plate, pour gravy generously on top, along with 2 halved boiled potatoes, and 3 spoonfuls of Lingonberry jam at the side.
Easy peasy!
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Handmade Ring Cushion
I made this for my sister-in-law who is getting ROM-ed this Saturday.
Materials: White/cream soft cotton linen fabric cut approx. 7" x 7". White cotton lace. Red embroidery thread and needle. Alphabet stamps (bought from Kiang Trading). Versacraft black inkpad for stamping on multi surfaces.
A friend gave me a copy of Clover embroidery pattern where I traced the birds from. The couple's names are hand-stamped below the birds.
To tie the rings, I attached a silvery grey satin ribbon folded in half, adorned with a crystal brad.
The back of the crystal brads look like this.
When the design is done on the cover, I stitched the front and back fabric with the lace in the between, right side of fabric facing each other (I had sewn a love later on to complete the design. Then it was turned inside out, and filled with polyester filling.
Done!
Materials: White/cream soft cotton linen fabric cut approx. 7" x 7". White cotton lace. Red embroidery thread and needle. Alphabet stamps (bought from Kiang Trading). Versacraft black inkpad for stamping on multi surfaces.
A friend gave me a copy of Clover embroidery pattern where I traced the birds from. The couple's names are hand-stamped below the birds.
To tie the rings, I attached a silvery grey satin ribbon folded in half, adorned with a crystal brad.
The back of the crystal brads look like this.
When the design is done on the cover, I stitched the front and back fabric with the lace in the between, right side of fabric facing each other (I had sewn a love later on to complete the design. Then it was turned inside out, and filled with polyester filling.
Done!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
McDonald's Petronas Skudai... NOT lovin' it
I had the worst service experience on Sunday 23rd of Sept 2012 around noon.
Mr. Pozali was serving at the counter I was queueing for. He was serving a patron before me, preparing his orders, and he spent quite a lot of time waiting for the kitchen to pass him the orders. This is what he does:
-Waits at 'kitchen collection point' for fried chickens. Places fried chickens on tray.
-Goes back and wait again for McChicken burgers. Places burgers on the tray.
-Rushes to pack fries, places them on the tray.
-Goes back to kitchen collection point and waits for another burger.
-Pours drinks into cups, and places them on tray.
-Passes the tray to patron and says 'Enjoy your meal!'
During all those times he spent waiting at the kitchen, why couldn't he take my order? I assumed it is their system ie. 'focus one by one'. FINE.
When he finished, he then took my order which is ONE bowl of porridge, I made payment, and he prompted the kitchen for the porridge. But this time, he didn't wait at the kitchen like he did previously. It wasn't 'focus one by one' anymore.
He suddenly became efficient and went on to take the next patron's order! WHY DIDN'T HE DO THE SAME FOR ME?!
And dear next patron took his sweet time ordering.
Patron: Mmm... ayam goreng dua
Mr. P: OK.. lagi?
Patron: Mmmm.... mmmm... burger ayam set tiga..
Mr. P: Ya.. lagi?
Patron: Mmm... nugget satu... tak, tak... eeerrr, nugget dua
Mr. P: OK... lagi?
Patron: Mmm... burger daging satu
Mr. P: OK... lagi?
Patron: OK, tu je.
(all this while, I am waiting like an idiot and fuming. Waves of angry heat is radiating from my scalp. Forget about me, I'm chopped liver)
Payment was made etc, and Mr. Pozali proceeded to assemble HIS tray with some of his orders first while my ONE bowl of porridge is still sitting in the oven, not retrieved.
WHAT. THE.
I was clearly very upset and very angry at his inconsistency in service.
NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT lovin' it.
Mr. Pozali was serving at the counter I was queueing for. He was serving a patron before me, preparing his orders, and he spent quite a lot of time waiting for the kitchen to pass him the orders. This is what he does:
-Waits at 'kitchen collection point' for fried chickens. Places fried chickens on tray.
-Goes back and wait again for McChicken burgers. Places burgers on the tray.
-Rushes to pack fries, places them on the tray.
-Goes back to kitchen collection point and waits for another burger.
-Pours drinks into cups, and places them on tray.
-Passes the tray to patron and says 'Enjoy your meal!'
During all those times he spent waiting at the kitchen, why couldn't he take my order? I assumed it is their system ie. 'focus one by one'. FINE.
When he finished, he then took my order which is ONE bowl of porridge, I made payment, and he prompted the kitchen for the porridge. But this time, he didn't wait at the kitchen like he did previously. It wasn't 'focus one by one' anymore.
He suddenly became efficient and went on to take the next patron's order! WHY DIDN'T HE DO THE SAME FOR ME?!
And dear next patron took his sweet time ordering.
Patron: Mmm... ayam goreng dua
Mr. P: OK.. lagi?
Patron: Mmmm.... mmmm... burger ayam set tiga..
Mr. P: Ya.. lagi?
Patron: Mmm... nugget satu... tak, tak... eeerrr, nugget dua
Mr. P: OK... lagi?
Patron: Mmm... burger daging satu
Mr. P: OK... lagi?
Patron: OK, tu je.
(all this while, I am waiting like an idiot and fuming. Waves of angry heat is radiating from my scalp. Forget about me, I'm chopped liver)
Payment was made etc, and Mr. Pozali proceeded to assemble HIS tray with some of his orders first while my ONE bowl of porridge is still sitting in the oven, not retrieved.
WHAT. THE.
I was clearly very upset and very angry at his inconsistency in service.
NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT lovin' it.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Motherhood.. and McDonalds
Motherhood changes a woman, whether she likes it or not. Some of these changes are good, the rest, bad. Take me as an example. I was a timid, non-confrontational insecure girl who lived in her own world made of dreams. Cannot blame me, I'm a Piscean. Pisceans make the worst friend so they say, and they pick their noses when they drive. I have never read a horoscope that described me so well. And they tend to be distracted or diverted somewhere else, like the time I bought shoes instead of ... oh fish divert again. Pisceans swear a lot too (self declare).
ANYWAY... motherhood has empowered me. It has given me the strength and confidence I never knew I could have. The experiences I gain being a mother can never be compared to the ones I gain at my workplace. It also gave me an immense capacity to love. When you have that capacity, your whole world changes.
Now, the bad. Motherhood also gave me a scalp that could radiate these tremendous wave of heat and anger in mere milliseconds. And children, regardless of age, can see this angry heat wave because they have special vision. I think. The natural reaction is to scold. With great capacity to love, comes great capacity to holler. Even if it's running upstairs to your bed, covering your head under the pillow and shouting it out. A mother needs to let it out sometimes ya know. Children, how adorable and joyful they are, can also ignite the most fearsome fury in their mother's heart.
After years of being pushed to the limits, I have learnt to NOT tolerate unfair services. Like one rendered to me at McDonalds Petronas Skudai. I will elaborate this next because it deserves a post on its own.
SO, motherhood is a wild ride. It's awesome and can be tiring sometimes. No, I take that back. It IS tiring but you don't hear all the mothers admitting that, because deep down, at the end of the day, it's just love.
ANYWAY... motherhood has empowered me. It has given me the strength and confidence I never knew I could have. The experiences I gain being a mother can never be compared to the ones I gain at my workplace. It also gave me an immense capacity to love. When you have that capacity, your whole world changes.
Now, the bad. Motherhood also gave me a scalp that could radiate these tremendous wave of heat and anger in mere milliseconds. And children, regardless of age, can see this angry heat wave because they have special vision. I think. The natural reaction is to scold. With great capacity to love, comes great capacity to holler. Even if it's running upstairs to your bed, covering your head under the pillow and shouting it out. A mother needs to let it out sometimes ya know. Children, how adorable and joyful they are, can also ignite the most fearsome fury in their mother's heart.
After years of being pushed to the limits, I have learnt to NOT tolerate unfair services. Like one rendered to me at McDonalds Petronas Skudai. I will elaborate this next because it deserves a post on its own.
SO, motherhood is a wild ride. It's awesome and can be tiring sometimes. No, I take that back. It IS tiring but you don't hear all the mothers admitting that, because deep down, at the end of the day, it's just love.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
The Police Force; JB vs Singapore
Having worked in Singapore and living in JB for more than 10 years, this is how I feel about the police force in the two nations.
Traffic police in JB makes traffic worse. Singaporean traffic police mostly will ease congestion or direct traffic appropriately.
I feel scared when I see a JB police although I didn't do anything wrong. I feel safe with a Singaporean police even though I did something wrong.
JB traffic police hide between the bush at the PLUS highway with speed cameras, pointing at traffic's direction (shoots the rear of your car). Singapore traffic police sit safely and clearly on overhead pedestrian bridges with speed cameras, pointing against traffic's direction (shoots the front of your car).
JB police are nowhere to be seen when they are needed the most. Singapore police appear almost everywhere even when they are not needed the most.
Why JB, why?
Traffic police in JB makes traffic worse. Singaporean traffic police mostly will ease congestion or direct traffic appropriately.
I feel scared when I see a JB police although I didn't do anything wrong. I feel safe with a Singaporean police even though I did something wrong.
JB traffic police hide between the bush at the PLUS highway with speed cameras, pointing at traffic's direction (shoots the rear of your car). Singapore traffic police sit safely and clearly on overhead pedestrian bridges with speed cameras, pointing against traffic's direction (shoots the front of your car).
JB police are nowhere to be seen when they are needed the most. Singapore police appear almost everywhere even when they are not needed the most.
Why JB, why?
Monday, September 17, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
A Saturday Afternoon
To play with a kid, you gotta be a kid yourself. And I think a mini 'house' is every kid's must-have. I used to make one out of the cardboard box that came with my new fridge. Truth is, boys LOVE to play house too!! I made an interesting observation whenever I bring the boys to the Kid's Park at JUSCO where children can play with arcade games and there is a soft playground for younger kids. One of the attraction in there is a mini kitchen and supermarket (at Bukit Indah, Johor Bahru's branch). It's made of very thick cardboard I think, those industrial ones, and it's pink. Guess what, I saw more boys playing in it that the girls! They would cut up the toy vegetables (two halves held by velcro, isn't this a genius idea) and go around the kitchen like Jamie Oliver. I find this so endearing :)
This observation led me to another observation. I realize that the only things I remember about kindergarten is the mini playhouse and the playground. Play. I was the happiest there.
So, this colourful one is a hand-me-down and it matches his toy car. Darren has played in it now and then but only very recently, I created a real mini home for him. A cooking set and a little sleeping corner are all it took to magically transform it.
I taught him how to 'play pretend'. We'd go to the market (our kitchen) in his little toy car, and he'd buy a box of toy fish from me, then he'd go back and cook the fishes, and he'd serve me and we will have a little fish party.
I am tempted to get a REAL stove cooking toy set. But they are all in pink :(
So, there went my entire Saturday afternoon! Domestication Lesson 101.
This observation led me to another observation. I realize that the only things I remember about kindergarten is the mini playhouse and the playground. Play. I was the happiest there.
So, this colourful one is a hand-me-down and it matches his toy car. Darren has played in it now and then but only very recently, I created a real mini home for him. A cooking set and a little sleeping corner are all it took to magically transform it.
I taught him how to 'play pretend'. We'd go to the market (our kitchen) in his little toy car, and he'd buy a box of toy fish from me, then he'd go back and cook the fishes, and he'd serve me and we will have a little fish party.
I am tempted to get a REAL stove cooking toy set. But they are all in pink :(
So, there went my entire Saturday afternoon! Domestication Lesson 101.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Quickest Pizza Recipe Ever
Sometimes I run out of ideas of what to pack for my 7 yo's snack to school. And then recently, someone awesome shared this quick recipe and I just had to try it. Everyone loved it!
What you need:
1. Pita bread. Your express pizza base ready-made, wa la. I got the regular sized (15cm diameter I think), and the mini sized for the kiddos (around 11cm diameter).
2. Cheese. Mozzarella, cheddar or the mixed pack like the one I got from Cold Storage. Shredded.
3. Tomato paste.
4. Toppings of your choice. I use ham.
What to do:
1. Preheat oven at 150 degrees Celsius.
1. Pan-fry the ham with a little bit of oil. Cut it into strips, or squares or heart shapes if you are free. Set aside.
2. Take a pita bread out and spread tomato paste nice and even on it, like kaya on toast. Sama-sama.
3. Spread shredded cheese all over. Be generous.
4. Lastly, scatter the pieces of ham on top.
5. Bake this in the oven for about 15 minutes, until the cheese melt.
6. Let it cool a bit before serving the kids.
Enjoy!
What you need:
1. Pita bread. Your express pizza base ready-made, wa la. I got the regular sized (15cm diameter I think), and the mini sized for the kiddos (around 11cm diameter).
2. Cheese. Mozzarella, cheddar or the mixed pack like the one I got from Cold Storage. Shredded.
3. Tomato paste.
4. Toppings of your choice. I use ham.
What to do:
1. Preheat oven at 150 degrees Celsius.
1. Pan-fry the ham with a little bit of oil. Cut it into strips, or squares or heart shapes if you are free. Set aside.
2. Take a pita bread out and spread tomato paste nice and even on it, like kaya on toast. Sama-sama.
3. Spread shredded cheese all over. Be generous.
4. Lastly, scatter the pieces of ham on top.
5. Bake this in the oven for about 15 minutes, until the cheese melt.
6. Let it cool a bit before serving the kids.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
A Little Basket of Handmade Goodness
The other day, I needed a cool wrapping paper fast. I had some scrap kraft paper left from fillers so I pattern-stamped it with different stamps.
My dad's birthday gift. It was also the day I lost my iPhone4S :(
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
20 Pillow Talk Questions For You And Your Child
Daniel and I have our regular pillow talk before bed, and it is a great, if not perfect, way to bond. Sometimes, I'd run out of topics, then I found this link. How inspiring!
1. What do you like to dream about?
2. What is your best memory this school year?
3. Who is your hero? Why?
4. How would you describe your family?
5. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
6. What are you most proud of yourself for?
7. Who is the kindest person you know? Why?
8. What do you like most about your best friend?
9. What is one thing you would like to learn to do well?
10.If you were an animal what one would you be and why?
11.When is the last time someome hurt your feelings? How did you react?
12.Do you know someone who is going though a hard time? How can you help them?
13.What is the scariest thing that happened this year?
14.If you could keep only one thing, out of everything you have, what would it be?
15.Who do you think is really successful? Why?
16.What’s the best thing about your teacher this year?
17.When do you feel misunderstood by grown-ups?
18.What three words best describe you?
19.What’s something that makes you angry?
20.What’s the best compliment you ever received?
I think he may be too young for some of the questions, so I'll keep them for another few years.
1. What do you like to dream about?
2. What is your best memory this school year?
3. Who is your hero? Why?
4. How would you describe your family?
5. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
6. What are you most proud of yourself for?
7. Who is the kindest person you know? Why?
8. What do you like most about your best friend?
9. What is one thing you would like to learn to do well?
10.If you were an animal what one would you be and why?
11.When is the last time someome hurt your feelings? How did you react?
12.Do you know someone who is going though a hard time? How can you help them?
13.What is the scariest thing that happened this year?
14.If you could keep only one thing, out of everything you have, what would it be?
15.Who do you think is really successful? Why?
16.What’s the best thing about your teacher this year?
17.When do you feel misunderstood by grown-ups?
18.What three words best describe you?
19.What’s something that makes you angry?
20.What’s the best compliment you ever received?
I think he may be too young for some of the questions, so I'll keep them for another few years.
Letters To My Boys: A Beautiful Advice
To do anything well, you must first care. Passionately. And be enthusiastic. Be hungry. Stay hungry. Be proactive. Do more than your job description. In fact, create your own job. Understand that receiving criticism is the quickest way to improve. And that sometimes being fired, or not getting what you want, is absolutely the best thing that could happen. Be a team player. Give credit where credit is due; ‘we’ is always stronger than ‘I’. But if something goes wrong, take responsibility, stand up and be counted. Love your life outside work – it’s the only way to stay sane, and that’s more important the higher up you go. Know your physical limits, but never stop dreaming. Never mock another person’s dreams. Don’t be a quitter. If you believe you can do something, you’ve already done the hard part. Be curious. Stay curious. Rules are overrated but respect is everything. Play for win/win scenarios. Don’t ask permission to succeed, just get on with it. If something hasn’t been done before, it doesn’t mean it’s not possible. In short, dream, believe, do! But be prepared to work bloody hard, over and above expectations. Never cheat. Don’t gossip. Have a moral code. Enjoy the ride. The aim is to screech to a halt when you finally get to those pearly gates and say wow, what a blast! Not oops, I forgot something.
Taken from here.
Taken from here.
Friday, August 03, 2012
Top 10 Things You Tend To Say To Your Young Children
1. DON'T do that.
2. DON'T play with that.
3. WHY did you do that to your brother/sister?
4. STOP jumping!
5. DON'T run here.
6. I said PLEASE. DON'T. RUN. HERE.
7. Can you STOP that.
8. DO your homework NOW.
9. Why are you angry? / Why are you crying?
10. SLEEP NOW!!!
Of course, I do say other loving things too, and I tell them bedtime stories, but when you have rowdy boys, you are never far off from the list above.
Oh, another one, GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE.
2. DON'T play with that.
3. WHY did you do that to your brother/sister?
4. STOP jumping!
5. DON'T run here.
6. I said PLEASE. DON'T. RUN. HERE.
7. Can you STOP that.
8. DO your homework NOW.
9. Why are you angry? / Why are you crying?
10. SLEEP NOW!!!
Of course, I do say other loving things too, and I tell them bedtime stories, but when you have rowdy boys, you are never far off from the list above.
Oh, another one, GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)