To my precious boys, I just want to tell you I love you both very much. You give me hope and joy everyday. And every night in my prayers, I pray that you grow into mature, sensible, hardworking, healthy, happy and successful men. I pray you'll find love, and will be loved. I wonder a lot if I parent you boys right. I made mistakes, and am still learning. I hope I can make things right. There has been a lot of bad opinions about millennials these days... you know, entitled, lazy, unfocused, no delayed gratifications etc. Sometimes I think I am raising you to be such. I'm sorry if I am. The world is changing so much I feel can't keep up. Everyone my age is always starting their sentences with "Back in our old days...". Yes, back in my days. There weren't many TV programs or HD Pixar animations, there were no smartphones, no mobile phones, no iPads, no DVDs, no computers even until I was a teen. And there weren't many websites, no YouTube, no Facebook, no games, no tutorials, nothing. I basically entertained myself with my imagination. So I'm sorry if I don't get it that these modern gadgets come naturally for you. I want you to be able to be comfortable with yourselves, it's OK to talk to yourselves. I do that when I am stressed, sad or when I am lonely. Talk to yourselves. Learn how to. I also want you to be able to persevere. Work hard and don't give up when things go bad. Keep going. Mull over the bad things if you need to, then move on and face another new day. Keep going. Keep going. Remember, nothing is permanent. Good things will come too. Failures are not permanent. Bad times and sadness are not permanent. Have faith that joy will come. I did. Commuting daily to Singapore for work was arduous sometimes but I kept going. A day at a time. There were good days and there were not so good days. But I kept going because of you. Because of my loved ones. The income was stable and good and I know how important it is to be financially safe. Maybe it's my conservative risk-taking attitude, I go for safe options. So I kept going. Building that safety net for all of us. Encouraging you to save too. I went for many parenting workshops. How to raise financially-savvy kids. How to talk to your children. How to raise positive teens. I wish I can still impart all those knowledge to you. It feels scary sometimes to be growing up and living in this challenging world. I really hope Malaysia will change for the better. For you and your generations to come. But what I know now is true. Love makes you endure. Love makes you persevere. Love gives you the power to go on.
I love you and will always be in your heart. Yep, that's where you can find me.
Showing posts with label Letters To My Boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Letters To My Boys. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 03, 2017
Friday, August 19, 2016
Letters To My Boys: "I Love You So Much"
Dear boys,
The both of you have been getting along quite well. You do squabble a bit, but eventually you'd be wrestling and laughing together again. You are both more 'connected' now, maybe because Darren is getting older and is able to grasp and understand more things now.
Daniel, you were into Clash of Clans, an apps game. You were quite hooked on it that it rang my maternal alarms. I didn't want you to get addicted, so I tried to control your gaming time. And then you stopped playing it. I was relieved. But then a new apps game got your attention. I have to say, Crisis Action really caused some crises at home. You'd become really angry when triggered by something small and unexpected, and you'd cry for an hour non-stop. This was a very very unusual and worrying behaviour. Nothing I said or did could make you stop crying. It was almost like trying to comfort a colicky baby. I thought it was part of growing up, you know, the hormones and such. I even thought you were possessed. Not kidding. I was scared, and frustrated. These outburst episodes happened 4 times within 2 months. I prayed for you to calm down, I prayed for answers. But every time I ask you about it the next day, you would say "I don't know". But eventually you revealed that you were scared of me taking away your Crisis Action game forever. This made me even more worried because no one should cry for an hour over a game. I didn't want that kind of unhealthy addiction. And then you had an outburst again. It was very bad. You cried for more than an hour, with screaming. I screamed at you. You screamed more. I left you to cry until you fell asleep. You missed lunch. Then you woke up and cried again for an hour. I didn't know what to do. You were unconsolable. I almost took you to see a doctor... or a priest. Gosh it was stressful. This was not what an 11 year old boy would do, I thought. Eventually, you 'woke up' from the tantrum. Dazed and jaded. And one day, I asked you about it again. I told you that if you couldn't say it, write it. And you wrote a letter to me. I'm not going to say the content here because I promised you not to tell anyone. But I do feel what you feel. It isn't fair. The youngest siblings always get their ways and it can be provoking. I am glad though, that you said I treated you fairly. I always make the conscious effort to do that. After that letter, the crying episodes stopped. I guessed you felt better after pouring out your heart. I wish you will continue to pour your heart out to me, even after you are all grown up. I will always listen and be here for you.
Darren, you are growing up so fast that it scares me how I will miss your babyness. Everyday, you say "I love you so much". Out of nowhere. Or when I'm doing mummy things like towelling you down after a bath or bringing you snacks. I wish this will last forever.
It makes me very happy to see you both happy and getting along.
The both of you have been getting along quite well. You do squabble a bit, but eventually you'd be wrestling and laughing together again. You are both more 'connected' now, maybe because Darren is getting older and is able to grasp and understand more things now.
Daniel, you were into Clash of Clans, an apps game. You were quite hooked on it that it rang my maternal alarms. I didn't want you to get addicted, so I tried to control your gaming time. And then you stopped playing it. I was relieved. But then a new apps game got your attention. I have to say, Crisis Action really caused some crises at home. You'd become really angry when triggered by something small and unexpected, and you'd cry for an hour non-stop. This was a very very unusual and worrying behaviour. Nothing I said or did could make you stop crying. It was almost like trying to comfort a colicky baby. I thought it was part of growing up, you know, the hormones and such. I even thought you were possessed. Not kidding. I was scared, and frustrated. These outburst episodes happened 4 times within 2 months. I prayed for you to calm down, I prayed for answers. But every time I ask you about it the next day, you would say "I don't know". But eventually you revealed that you were scared of me taking away your Crisis Action game forever. This made me even more worried because no one should cry for an hour over a game. I didn't want that kind of unhealthy addiction. And then you had an outburst again. It was very bad. You cried for more than an hour, with screaming. I screamed at you. You screamed more. I left you to cry until you fell asleep. You missed lunch. Then you woke up and cried again for an hour. I didn't know what to do. You were unconsolable. I almost took you to see a doctor... or a priest. Gosh it was stressful. This was not what an 11 year old boy would do, I thought. Eventually, you 'woke up' from the tantrum. Dazed and jaded. And one day, I asked you about it again. I told you that if you couldn't say it, write it. And you wrote a letter to me. I'm not going to say the content here because I promised you not to tell anyone. But I do feel what you feel. It isn't fair. The youngest siblings always get their ways and it can be provoking. I am glad though, that you said I treated you fairly. I always make the conscious effort to do that. After that letter, the crying episodes stopped. I guessed you felt better after pouring out your heart. I wish you will continue to pour your heart out to me, even after you are all grown up. I will always listen and be here for you.
Darren, you are growing up so fast that it scares me how I will miss your babyness. Everyday, you say "I love you so much". Out of nowhere. Or when I'm doing mummy things like towelling you down after a bath or bringing you snacks. I wish this will last forever.
It makes me very happy to see you both happy and getting along.
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Letters To My Boys: Be the best buddy for each other
I never knew what having a sibling feels like until I had the two of you. You probably don't realize it but I'm always watching...
Watching you play together.
Watching you annoy each other.
Watching you fight with each other.
Watching you forget everything and laugh together again.
And I realize how more important it is to be close to each other as brothers, than it is with me or your papa. As a good friend once said, we won't be around forever, and when we're gone, you still have each other and you will be the closest person in the world to each other.
Though you guys have bad clashes all the time, I know deep down, you care for your brother, and love him very very much. Daniel, you may not remember this, but when Darren was about 2, he had a bad phlegmy cough and the doctor used a ventilator to help him breathe better. Darren hated it and was screaming, kicking and crying. You watched in tears, and left angrily. You were angry at the doctor and nurses who 'forced' the ventilator mask on him. I knew then how you love him.
Remember the time Darren sat at the back of my bicycle and got his heel badly scratched by the moving wheel? He screamed and cried. You watched in tears, went home straight to your room and wrote a letter. You said you were sorry you couldn't protect your brother. You were sorry you couldn't stop the pain. My heart melted. Darren was limping for a couple of days, and for that couple of days, you did not tease or annoy him at all.
Darren, being the younger brother, I know how much you look up to your gor gor. I can imagine how it feels. For as long as you can remember, gor gor is always there, as someone to play with, someone to spend the long days at home with, someone to do something with, someone just beside you all the time. Like a buddy.
Whenever we buy something for you, you'd always ask for another one for gor gor. You are always thinking of him.
These days, you like to sing pop songs, albeit indecipherably. You'd sing alternately with your brother. Daniel would start the first line, Darren would do the second and so on. It is so endearing to hear you sing to your hearts' content.
Stay this way, my sweethearts. This makes me the happiest mom.
And also, you don't know this, but when you guys are asleep in your beds, I look at you and I feel like I love you so much that I want to inhale you.
Watching you play together.
Watching you annoy each other.
Watching you fight with each other.
Watching you forget everything and laugh together again.
And I realize how more important it is to be close to each other as brothers, than it is with me or your papa. As a good friend once said, we won't be around forever, and when we're gone, you still have each other and you will be the closest person in the world to each other.
Though you guys have bad clashes all the time, I know deep down, you care for your brother, and love him very very much. Daniel, you may not remember this, but when Darren was about 2, he had a bad phlegmy cough and the doctor used a ventilator to help him breathe better. Darren hated it and was screaming, kicking and crying. You watched in tears, and left angrily. You were angry at the doctor and nurses who 'forced' the ventilator mask on him. I knew then how you love him.
Remember the time Darren sat at the back of my bicycle and got his heel badly scratched by the moving wheel? He screamed and cried. You watched in tears, went home straight to your room and wrote a letter. You said you were sorry you couldn't protect your brother. You were sorry you couldn't stop the pain. My heart melted. Darren was limping for a couple of days, and for that couple of days, you did not tease or annoy him at all.
Darren, being the younger brother, I know how much you look up to your gor gor. I can imagine how it feels. For as long as you can remember, gor gor is always there, as someone to play with, someone to spend the long days at home with, someone to do something with, someone just beside you all the time. Like a buddy.
Whenever we buy something for you, you'd always ask for another one for gor gor. You are always thinking of him.
These days, you like to sing pop songs, albeit indecipherably. You'd sing alternately with your brother. Daniel would start the first line, Darren would do the second and so on. It is so endearing to hear you sing to your hearts' content.
Stay this way, my sweethearts. This makes me the happiest mom.
One of my favourite picture.
Both of you playing 'The Happy Song' duet.
And also, you don't know this, but when you guys are asleep in your beds, I look at you and I feel like I love you so much that I want to inhale you.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Letters To My Boys : Everything's Good
Dear Daniel and Darren,
Nothing makes me happier than watching the two of you play together. In my opinion, the both of you get along fine. I have seen other siblings fight and quite frankly it shocked me. For now, I am very glad that I have not seen any violence or aggression between the two of you other than the usual harmless banter and whining. You are considered gentle, my boys, I am so proud of you.
Daniel, oh my precious Daniel. You are going to be 9! You still hold my hand and hug me. At night, you still want me to tuck you into bed and lie next to you until you fall asleep. I wish I can do better. Sometimes, I am so tired I just want to quickly shower and get into my own bed, so I tell you "Not tonight sweetcakes, I have many things to do first and I am so sleepy". I always regret it, but I can't help it. I want to do better. The time will come when you no longer want to do all those. A part of my maternal instincts was also to let go slowly. I don't want you to be a mama's boy, all clingy, and dependent. I want you to start living your life, to learn about life, sometimes without me. You have to learn how to face disappointment, loneliness and rejection sometimes. Oh gosh I hope I am doing it right. But I do see you are rather resilient and gracious in overcoming negative things, and I hope you carry this gift forever. Everyday you make me proud.
Darren, oh my sweet Darren. You turned 4! At this age, like your brother, you say the funniest things, make the funniest faces and most adorable noises. You are undoubtedly at your maximum cuteness age. I see a resemblance between you and your brother, of the soul kind. I feel your kind heart, good nature and your strong spirit. You have no idea how happy that makes me. Because you are the second child, by textbook, you are more courageous and rebellious.. in a cute way now. You are very determined and insistent. You are also sensible and smart. Please stay that way!
Mummy loves you, always.
Nothing makes me happier than watching the two of you play together. In my opinion, the both of you get along fine. I have seen other siblings fight and quite frankly it shocked me. For now, I am very glad that I have not seen any violence or aggression between the two of you other than the usual harmless banter and whining. You are considered gentle, my boys, I am so proud of you.
Daniel, oh my precious Daniel. You are going to be 9! You still hold my hand and hug me. At night, you still want me to tuck you into bed and lie next to you until you fall asleep. I wish I can do better. Sometimes, I am so tired I just want to quickly shower and get into my own bed, so I tell you "Not tonight sweetcakes, I have many things to do first and I am so sleepy". I always regret it, but I can't help it. I want to do better. The time will come when you no longer want to do all those. A part of my maternal instincts was also to let go slowly. I don't want you to be a mama's boy, all clingy, and dependent. I want you to start living your life, to learn about life, sometimes without me. You have to learn how to face disappointment, loneliness and rejection sometimes. Oh gosh I hope I am doing it right. But I do see you are rather resilient and gracious in overcoming negative things, and I hope you carry this gift forever. Everyday you make me proud.
Darren, oh my sweet Darren. You turned 4! At this age, like your brother, you say the funniest things, make the funniest faces and most adorable noises. You are undoubtedly at your maximum cuteness age. I see a resemblance between you and your brother, of the soul kind. I feel your kind heart, good nature and your strong spirit. You have no idea how happy that makes me. Because you are the second child, by textbook, you are more courageous and rebellious.. in a cute way now. You are very determined and insistent. You are also sensible and smart. Please stay that way!
Mummy loves you, always.
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
Letters to My Boys: Advice to Graduates
To my dear boys, love and kindness, at the end of the day, wins.
George Saunders’s Advice to Graduates
Here's some of my favourite excerpts:
"Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.
Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?
Those who were kindest to you, I bet."
"And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love. YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE. If you have kids, that will be a huge moment in your process of self-diminishment. You really won’t care what happens to YOU, as long as they benefit. That’s one reason your parents are so proud and happy today. One of their fondest dreams has come true: you have accomplished something difficult and tangible that has enlarged you as a person and will make your life better, from here on in, forever."
"Do all the other things, the ambitious things – travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.
Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial."
"That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality – your soul, if you will – is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Bright as Shakespeare’s, bright as Gandhi’s, bright as Mother Teresa’s. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place. Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly."
I know this because the both of you have given me more than I bargained for. I love you Daniel, and Darren, very very much.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Letters To My Boys: A Beautiful Advice
To do anything well, you must first care. Passionately. And be enthusiastic. Be hungry. Stay hungry. Be proactive. Do more than your job description. In fact, create your own job. Understand that receiving criticism is the quickest way to improve. And that sometimes being fired, or not getting what you want, is absolutely the best thing that could happen. Be a team player. Give credit where credit is due; ‘we’ is always stronger than ‘I’. But if something goes wrong, take responsibility, stand up and be counted. Love your life outside work – it’s the only way to stay sane, and that’s more important the higher up you go. Know your physical limits, but never stop dreaming. Never mock another person’s dreams. Don’t be a quitter. If you believe you can do something, you’ve already done the hard part. Be curious. Stay curious. Rules are overrated but respect is everything. Play for win/win scenarios. Don’t ask permission to succeed, just get on with it. If something hasn’t been done before, it doesn’t mean it’s not possible. In short, dream, believe, do! But be prepared to work bloody hard, over and above expectations. Never cheat. Don’t gossip. Have a moral code. Enjoy the ride. The aim is to screech to a halt when you finally get to those pearly gates and say wow, what a blast! Not oops, I forgot something.
Taken from here.
Taken from here.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Letters To My Boys: Keeping Your Marriage In Love
Dear sons,
Some day you will find someone whom you want to share your everything with. Your dreams, your fears, your joy, your frustrations, your hope and many little mundane details in your daily life. If you have not found that someone, then it is not time yet or it's not meant to be. Accept that and live well anyway. If you have, cherish her as long as you both shall live. Even after many years of marriage, it cannot survive on love alone. It needs regular effort and thoughtfulness to keep it warm. You may be able to find many resources on 'How To Maintain A Happy Marriage', those are good, and these are personal ones from me.
1. Continue sharing your everything. This is actually a powerful way to keep yourselves emotionally engaged with each other. And this is one of the top reasons for a happy marriage. Set aside time for a hearty chat. Don't forget to ask her about her day regardless of how mundane it might be. She may have many friends whom she confides in, but at the end of the day, you are probably her bestest friend to share her everything with.
2. Once in a while, be a romantic fool. Anniversaries are good days to be that fool. Remind her how it felt to be courted. This, my sons, will bring a sparkle to her heart. Arrange for babysitting (I'll be glad to help), surprise her at work with a call and tell her to meet you at a fancy restaurant for a candlelight dinner. Never underrate the value of a candlelight dinner. It's common, it's old fashioned, but it works.
3. Have regular date nights. Go for a movie, or a supper. Or sneak out for ice cream.
4. Hugs. And kisses. Both will be nice.
5. Never let go of a chance to hold her hand. Even when it's getting wrinkled. Physical affections are the easiest way to show her that you still care. And it's free. Play with her fingers, caress her back, stroke her hair. These are instant intimacy gestures that will, again, bring sparkle to her heart. You may not know it, but it does.
It every mother's dream to be able to raise a fine husband and to see him enjoy a blissful happy marriage.
XOXO
Mummy
Some day you will find someone whom you want to share your everything with. Your dreams, your fears, your joy, your frustrations, your hope and many little mundane details in your daily life. If you have not found that someone, then it is not time yet or it's not meant to be. Accept that and live well anyway. If you have, cherish her as long as you both shall live. Even after many years of marriage, it cannot survive on love alone. It needs regular effort and thoughtfulness to keep it warm. You may be able to find many resources on 'How To Maintain A Happy Marriage', those are good, and these are personal ones from me.
1. Continue sharing your everything. This is actually a powerful way to keep yourselves emotionally engaged with each other. And this is one of the top reasons for a happy marriage. Set aside time for a hearty chat. Don't forget to ask her about her day regardless of how mundane it might be. She may have many friends whom she confides in, but at the end of the day, you are probably her bestest friend to share her everything with.
2. Once in a while, be a romantic fool. Anniversaries are good days to be that fool. Remind her how it felt to be courted. This, my sons, will bring a sparkle to her heart. Arrange for babysitting (I'll be glad to help), surprise her at work with a call and tell her to meet you at a fancy restaurant for a candlelight dinner. Never underrate the value of a candlelight dinner. It's common, it's old fashioned, but it works.
3. Have regular date nights. Go for a movie, or a supper. Or sneak out for ice cream.
4. Hugs. And kisses. Both will be nice.
5. Never let go of a chance to hold her hand. Even when it's getting wrinkled. Physical affections are the easiest way to show her that you still care. And it's free. Play with her fingers, caress her back, stroke her hair. These are instant intimacy gestures that will, again, bring sparkle to her heart. You may not know it, but it does.
It every mother's dream to be able to raise a fine husband and to see him enjoy a blissful happy marriage.
XOXO
Mummy
Monday, March 19, 2012
To My Dear Boys: About Being In Love
Dear Daniel and Darren,
A lot of times, when I see boy teenagers and young adults, I think of you. I wonder if you will grow up and dress, talk and behave like them. Or will things change, like fashion and trend. I would like to see the both of you when you're that age, but some part of me don't want you to grow up too fast!
But most of all, I wish the both of you love. Yes, the gift of love. You will fall in love one day. And I hope you will share that news with me because this is exactly what I would tell you: (it was a reply written by John Steinbeck when he received a letter from his teenage son who confessed that he fell desperately in love with a girl in school)
First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.
But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Love,
Fa
Taken from here.
A lot of times, when I see boy teenagers and young adults, I think of you. I wonder if you will grow up and dress, talk and behave like them. Or will things change, like fashion and trend. I would like to see the both of you when you're that age, but some part of me don't want you to grow up too fast!
But most of all, I wish the both of you love. Yes, the gift of love. You will fall in love one day. And I hope you will share that news with me because this is exactly what I would tell you: (it was a reply written by John Steinbeck when he received a letter from his teenage son who confessed that he fell desperately in love with a girl in school)
First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.
But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Love,
Fa
Taken from here.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Dear Daniel
I saw you in your graduation gown, up on the stage with all your friends, singing and dancing to a song which says "I Am Ready".
I held Siri above my head, trying to record this priceless moment of you, my flesh and blood, the one who changed my life in one second, the one whom I never knew I could love so instantly and intensely at first sight. Yep, that's you. As the song went on.. " I Am Ready..."... "I Am Ready"... memories of your six years flashed in mind. HOW DID YOU GROW UP SO LIGHTING FAST! And now you are ready to face the world and the future ahead, while I am standing by behind you, forever in support and love.
And then tears filled my eyes. And I recorded a few seconds of the plants below the stage instead.
I'm glad you still have a bit of the baby cheeks and fingers so I'm going to smooch you until you don't want me to.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
To My Dear Boys: About You
Dear Daniel,
You are an awesome kid, I mean it. TRULY. You're like my BFF from the start, almost like my soulmate. I love chatting with you when I tuck you to bed every night, we're like friends who share secrets and our innermost fears and desires. Though you're 6, you seem to understand and feel a whole lot more than I can imagine. I know this will cease when you're older so I'm cherishing every moments of our mom-son chit-chats.
You are a sensitive, compassionate, loving and expressive boy. You have shown your care and concern when I needed it most. When I was unwell in bed, you'd pop into the room and ask me if I wanted something to eat or drink. And you'd cover me with my blanket, and touch my forehead. And that turns my heart into mushy goo of warm fuzzy love. You have also shown strength and maturity beyond your age in time of crisis. When I was in hospital, and your papa had to manage you and your brother in an intense situation, you tried to help as much as you could. When your baby brother was screaming and crying in his carseat, you distracted him, entertained him, sang a lullaby and soothed him to sleep, and you did all these on your own while your papa had to drive. Your papa and I think you did a KICK-ASS AWESOME job. TRULY. You worried for me silently, and you were brave. I'd give you 11 stars out of 10.
Don't ever forget to be awesome. *high five*
ps. I think you'll be a romantic guy who gives flowers and writes love notes to your lady, just like what you do for me now.
Dear Darren,
You are an awesome baby, I mean it. TRULY. If all babies were fun and easy like you, I can have ten of you. Your demeanor is almost like your brother when he was a baby. Sweet and cheerful. You are such a delight. These days you cling to me like a panda. I love how you wrap your little arms around my legs and you stick your head between them, and whimper when you want to be carried up. EVERYTHING you do is adorable, including your tantrums and your cute little crunched up face when you cry. But the best moments are the ones when you look at me with your two round Precious-Moments eyes and flash the most genuine sweet smile in the whole world.... that turns my heart into a mushy goo of warm fuzzy love :)
Be awesome everyday.
ps. I think you'll be into cars like your papa.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
To My Dear Boys: About Marriage
Sometimes, we forget that a marriage needs work and attention too. In fact, constantly. But when work projects and kids consume your daily life, it's easy to put it aside. The danger comes when putting it aside becomes a constant thing. The marriage gets cob-webbed and still.
That is what my hormones feel today. It is usually a passing phase, but I have never recorded how I felt during these 'possessed' phase. So here's a little insight.
I feel like the world is unfair. Unfair towards women. Especially working mothers. Whose husbands are businessmen who needs to network-drink and network-golf with similar businessmen and their drinking/golf buddies.
Take a look at this scenario. When the husband is stressed at work, he goes for drink at night. When the stressful project is over, he celebrates by playing golf and/or drinking with the pals. Now, when the wife has a stressful day, she still comes home to carry out her daily responsibility of making sure the kids are alright, done the homework, or deal with a cranky child. And when everything is settled, all she wants is a good shower and a husband to rub her feet or just blow-dry her hair and talk about anything under the moon.
Like I said, that's what the hormones feel today.
That is what my hormones feel today. It is usually a passing phase, but I have never recorded how I felt during these 'possessed' phase. So here's a little insight.
I feel like the world is unfair. Unfair towards women. Especially working mothers. Whose husbands are businessmen who needs to network-drink and network-golf with similar businessmen and their drinking/golf buddies.
Take a look at this scenario. When the husband is stressed at work, he goes for drink at night. When the stressful project is over, he celebrates by playing golf and/or drinking with the pals. Now, when the wife has a stressful day, she still comes home to carry out her daily responsibility of making sure the kids are alright, done the homework, or deal with a cranky child. And when everything is settled, all she wants is a good shower and a husband to rub her feet or just blow-dry her hair and talk about anything under the moon.
Like I said, that's what the hormones feel today.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
To My Dear Boys (About International Women's Day):
It was celebrated yesterday. If you're wondering what it's all about and how it became a special day, here it is.
When: Tuesday 8 March 2011
Where: Everywhere
What: International Women's Day (8 March) is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. In some places like China, Russia, Vietnam and Bulgaria, International Women's Day is a national holiday.
Why: Suffragettes campaigned for women's right to vote. The word 'Suffragette' is derived from the word "suffrage" meaning the right to vote. International Women's Day honours the work of the Suffragettes, celebrates women's success, and reminds of inequities still to be redressed. The first International Women's Day event was run in 1911. 2011 is the Global Centenary Year. Let's reinvent opportunity for working women and all women.
Not easy being a woman today, you know. Especially when we're so educated and worldly, yet somehow bound by traditions and cultural values in Asia. Although we work as well, it seems like everything is our responsibility at the end of the day, the household, children and the husband. But I see that changing slowly now. More husbands are sharing more responsibilities at home and with raising the kids.
So, on this day, take a moment to appreciate the women around you :)
When: Tuesday 8 March 2011
Where: Everywhere
What: International Women's Day (8 March) is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. In some places like China, Russia, Vietnam and Bulgaria, International Women's Day is a national holiday.
Why: Suffragettes campaigned for women's right to vote. The word 'Suffragette' is derived from the word "suffrage" meaning the right to vote. International Women's Day honours the work of the Suffragettes, celebrates women's success, and reminds of inequities still to be redressed. The first International Women's Day event was run in 1911. 2011 is the Global Centenary Year. Let's reinvent opportunity for working women and all women.
Not easy being a woman today, you know. Especially when we're so educated and worldly, yet somehow bound by traditions and cultural values in Asia. Although we work as well, it seems like everything is our responsibility at the end of the day, the household, children and the husband. But I see that changing slowly now. More husbands are sharing more responsibilities at home and with raising the kids.
So, on this day, take a moment to appreciate the women around you :)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
To My Dear Boys (About School Bullies and Suicides):
It's no joke. I get very disturbed when I hear or read news about youngters' suicides. It is a mother's greatest fear and sorrow. If one of you EVER do it, I swear on my beloved sewing machine that I will carbon-monoxide myself, hunt you down and wallop your cranium to pieces.
Really, it's no joke.
Suicide is still a rather sensitive topic despite its increase of late. No one wants to talk about it openly, and I think that is not helping the society at all. Like everything else, kids need to be educated on this. And like everything else too, a lot of factors lead kids to this path. One of them is school bullies.
They come in many forms. Most of them, without the horns and tail. But boy, are they devious. These soul-snatching asswipes are the mother's worst enemies. SO, please don't be a bully, or I swear I will wallop your cranium to pieces, and burn all your comic books. But if you are victimized by one, God help me, I will form a tribunal to bring 'em down. I told you I get very disturbed.
OK, I think there are mainly two forms of school bullies. First, the physical type. They use physical intimidation. They may or may not be bigger and chunkier than you but they have bigger guts. They DARE to wallop you. This, I can't help you. You can either fight back verbally with your brains but I reckon they won't understand, being ninkampoops that they are. But I'll let you in on something. I heard that once you fight back with gusto, they stop bullying you immediately. I have also heard of this advice given by a father to his son, "Don't fight, try to avoid it if you can, but if you gotta fight, you must win".
Second, the mental type. Ooohhh, this one is the real killer. They may hurl you words that sting and damage your self-esteem and confidence. They may make fun of you in front of the entire class, they may spread embarrassing stories or lies about you. And worse spread them on Facebook. Of course this is worst case scenario. I believe things won't get this bad. If it does, let me know. Another tribunal.
I end this with a quote.
First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they fight you,
then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Really, it's no joke.
Suicide is still a rather sensitive topic despite its increase of late. No one wants to talk about it openly, and I think that is not helping the society at all. Like everything else, kids need to be educated on this. And like everything else too, a lot of factors lead kids to this path. One of them is school bullies.
They come in many forms. Most of them, without the horns and tail. But boy, are they devious. These soul-snatching asswipes are the mother's worst enemies. SO, please don't be a bully, or I swear I will wallop your cranium to pieces, and burn all your comic books. But if you are victimized by one, God help me, I will form a tribunal to bring 'em down. I told you I get very disturbed.
OK, I think there are mainly two forms of school bullies. First, the physical type. They use physical intimidation. They may or may not be bigger and chunkier than you but they have bigger guts. They DARE to wallop you. This, I can't help you. You can either fight back verbally with your brains but I reckon they won't understand, being ninkampoops that they are. But I'll let you in on something. I heard that once you fight back with gusto, they stop bullying you immediately. I have also heard of this advice given by a father to his son, "Don't fight, try to avoid it if you can, but if you gotta fight, you must win".
Second, the mental type. Ooohhh, this one is the real killer. They may hurl you words that sting and damage your self-esteem and confidence. They may make fun of you in front of the entire class, they may spread embarrassing stories or lies about you. And worse spread them on Facebook. Of course this is worst case scenario. I believe things won't get this bad. If it does, let me know. Another tribunal.
I end this with a quote.
First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they fight you,
then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Monday, January 31, 2011
To My Dear Boys (A Little Surprise)
I felt like I broke a promise to blog more this year. Well, your dad and I had a little surprise on New Year's Day that sent me on an emotional roller coaster ride. That little surprise is now 9 weeks 3 days old, 1 inch long, and has a heartbeat of 160bpm. And that little surprise is also making me feel sick. So here we go again, the nausea, the reflux, the excessive salivating, the affinity to my bed and the whole caboodle of first trimester nightmare. Why can't I just skip to the part where I eat like a cow.
But this is the most important part I want to tell you. So please remember ok?
I will love you both as much as I have always been, if not, more.
There will be some trying times when I need to concentrate on one of you only, but trust me, your place is forevermore secured in my heart until the day it stops beating. No, no, even AFTER it stops beating.
OK? Luv ya heaps.
But this is the most important part I want to tell you. So please remember ok?
I will love you both as much as I have always been, if not, more.
There will be some trying times when I need to concentrate on one of you only, but trust me, your place is forevermore secured in my heart until the day it stops beating. No, no, even AFTER it stops beating.
OK? Luv ya heaps.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
To My Dear Boys (About Women):
There will come a time in your relationship when your lady gets a little.... well, psychotic. To you, she is psychotic, but to a woman, she is tormented like a crab in boiling water. And the reason could be due to YOU not hugging her enough, and 328 other factors.
I don't know why, but women are complex creatures. At some point in our lives, not ALL the time, we fight with our inner-monster. It's like we have this complexity quota to achieve in our estrogenic lifetime. I, too, went through a psychotic phase with your dad. And strangely, I don't remember why. Well, could be due to him not hugging me enough and 328 other factors. And strangely also, I KNEW I was being crazy but I just couldn't control or snap out of it. But most of the time, after the phase has passed, I'd feel stupid. Childish, possessed, illogically stupid. And I'd end up with this, "Why oh why did I create a misery for myself".
So, just cut her some slack. She probably just wants you to rub her feet and say things like "Baby, I'm sorry I can't make things better, but just want you to feel better. Everything will be okay soon, I promise". Because almost always, it does.
Remember, a hug a day keeps the demoness away.
I don't know why, but women are complex creatures. At some point in our lives, not ALL the time, we fight with our inner-monster. It's like we have this complexity quota to achieve in our estrogenic lifetime. I, too, went through a psychotic phase with your dad. And strangely, I don't remember why. Well, could be due to him not hugging me enough and 328 other factors. And strangely also, I KNEW I was being crazy but I just couldn't control or snap out of it. But most of the time, after the phase has passed, I'd feel stupid. Childish, possessed, illogically stupid. And I'd end up with this, "Why oh why did I create a misery for myself".
So, just cut her some slack. She probably just wants you to rub her feet and say things like "Baby, I'm sorry I can't make things better, but just want you to feel better. Everything will be okay soon, I promise". Because almost always, it does.
Remember, a hug a day keeps the demoness away.
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