...things are not so good around here. Japan earthquakes, tsunami, radiation leak threats. And I feel like shit. I'm supposed to waltz into the glorious trimester whereby I can eat like anything, have glowing skin and hair, and feel on top of the world, but I feel like shit. Yesterday, I cried because Bumbu Kampung played me out TWICE. I have been craving for their nasi paprik, and nasi campur but I got shit from them. Then the husband came home with chicken rice lunch and it was NOT from my favourite stall.
SHIT you Bumbu Kampung. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you.
Another time and I'll issue you death threat.
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Thursday, March 03, 2011
Pregnancy and Bleeding
Nothing is scarier than seeing blood in the beginning of a pregnancy, whether it's a bit, a lot, fresh red or brown. It is not uncommon, and most of the women go on to have healthy chubby babies with ten fingers and ten toes, and WITH nails.
I had that scare for my first pregnancy. I can't remember which week it started but it was alarming. This kinda thing makes you freeze and not want to move. You just want to lie down and pray hard that you don't feel ANY discharge comin' out of your woowoo, you know, like your period. It is stressful and very worrying.
It went away after a few weeks, almost a month I think. It was just dark brown, like chocolate, and it wasn't much to the extent of soaking up a pad. I remember at one point, at my third month, we went for an emergency check-up at a GP clinic because my gynae's office was closed. For a GP clinic, he had the most hi-tech ultrasound equipment. For the first time, we saw Daniel's scan, CLEARLY (smooth low background noise, high contrast scan) and he was moving his hands to the sides of his head as if to cover his ears. I think he could hear the ultrasound frequency! Also, that was the day we found out that it was a boy. The scan resolution was so good that the doctor could detect two testicles. AT THREE MONTHS! We were impressed. He was honest with us too. He said when there is bleeding of any kind during the first trimester, it is usually diagnosed as threatened miscarriage. Sounds threatening. But as long as the fetus is OK (strong heartbeat), you just gotta hang in there. Crazy times I tell you.
Darren's was ay-okay. NO seeing red. Just the first trimester sickness. You know, the belching, the farting, all those sexy shits.
Fast forward to New Year's Day 2011. The double strip surprise. Then I had an unpleasant surprise the next day. There was a pink discharge, and I knew that was NOT a good sign. So I held my breath. Four hours later that night, there was blood, just like a light period, and I was prepared for the worst.I thought, if I didn't take the test, I would've assumed my period just came late and I wouldn't feel so scared shitless. I imagined I would be cramping soon, but I didn't. Trying to psycho myself that I'm just having a regular period, I went to bed. Maybe it was not meant to be.
The next day, with sweaty palms and supercharged heart rate, I lay on the examination bed as my gynae glided the ulltrasound probe across my lower abdomen to look for a miracle. We didn't see any because it was too early, thus too microscopic to detect. Then, he told me he was going to use the transvaginal ultrasound probe.
TRANS-WHAT?!!!
Yes, the woowoo again. Now this is common in Singapore practice I heard. But I never had it in JB. My previous gynae just told me to come back the next week when the gestational sac is bigger (and to earn more money from every appointments you have). This gynae now, obviously has the hi-tech one. I asked, "Do you really have to?". Yes. It is crucial to locate the site of implantation. Just in case it is ectopic (fertilized egg implanted at the Fallopian tube instead of the uterus, and this can cause major complications). So, very quickly, a sheet of condom was stretched over the probe which is probably as thick as an Ayamas sausage. And then no prize for guessing where it'll go. It wasn't that bad actually. Not painful at all. Just the initial mental discomfort. The little beginning of life was where it is supposed to be. IN my uterus. Good.
Back to the bleeding part. I stopped having the period-like bleeding actually. But nevertheless, it happened. I was given MC for 3 days and on it, written, threatened miscarriage, a familiar term to me. Fine. So the next week, and two weeks forward, and more weeks down the line, I had my follow-ups religiously, and the little life grew as it should be. A sac became a fetal pole with heartbeat, a fetal pole became an embryo, an embryo became a fetus, and just last week, it looked like a fully formed baby, with legs and arms, at 13 weeks. How amazing!
But I still see chocolate. It had stopped for few days but it always came back. And although I've had this experience, it is still worrying, but not as much as if it is the first time. We don't really know the cause, but from Mr. Google, I thought it could be subchorionic hematoma, gathering of blood between the membranes of the placenta and the uterus, or a blood clot in the uterus. That could be the reason why I'm discharging it slowly. And there's nothing you can do about it. All I can do now is minimize walking, carrying Darren and stop gymnastics. And I hope soon, the only chocolate I see is from my Cadbury pack.
I hope this is informative for those who are experiencing bleeding in their first trimester. It is no doubt very frightening but whatever will be, will be. Keeping an open and accepting mind is important. Like Daniel mooning at me that day -_-
I had that scare for my first pregnancy. I can't remember which week it started but it was alarming. This kinda thing makes you freeze and not want to move. You just want to lie down and pray hard that you don't feel ANY discharge comin' out of your woowoo, you know, like your period. It is stressful and very worrying.
It went away after a few weeks, almost a month I think. It was just dark brown, like chocolate, and it wasn't much to the extent of soaking up a pad. I remember at one point, at my third month, we went for an emergency check-up at a GP clinic because my gynae's office was closed. For a GP clinic, he had the most hi-tech ultrasound equipment. For the first time, we saw Daniel's scan, CLEARLY (smooth low background noise, high contrast scan) and he was moving his hands to the sides of his head as if to cover his ears. I think he could hear the ultrasound frequency! Also, that was the day we found out that it was a boy. The scan resolution was so good that the doctor could detect two testicles. AT THREE MONTHS! We were impressed. He was honest with us too. He said when there is bleeding of any kind during the first trimester, it is usually diagnosed as threatened miscarriage. Sounds threatening. But as long as the fetus is OK (strong heartbeat), you just gotta hang in there. Crazy times I tell you.
Darren's was ay-okay. NO seeing red. Just the first trimester sickness. You know, the belching, the farting, all those sexy shits.
Fast forward to New Year's Day 2011. The double strip surprise. Then I had an unpleasant surprise the next day. There was a pink discharge, and I knew that was NOT a good sign. So I held my breath. Four hours later that night, there was blood, just like a light period, and I was prepared for the worst.I thought, if I didn't take the test, I would've assumed my period just came late and I wouldn't feel so scared shitless. I imagined I would be cramping soon, but I didn't. Trying to psycho myself that I'm just having a regular period, I went to bed. Maybe it was not meant to be.
The next day, with sweaty palms and supercharged heart rate, I lay on the examination bed as my gynae glided the ulltrasound probe across my lower abdomen to look for a miracle. We didn't see any because it was too early, thus too microscopic to detect. Then, he told me he was going to use the transvaginal ultrasound probe.
TRANS-WHAT?!!!
Yes, the woowoo again. Now this is common in Singapore practice I heard. But I never had it in JB. My previous gynae just told me to come back the next week when the gestational sac is bigger (and to earn more money from every appointments you have). This gynae now, obviously has the hi-tech one. I asked, "Do you really have to?". Yes. It is crucial to locate the site of implantation. Just in case it is ectopic (fertilized egg implanted at the Fallopian tube instead of the uterus, and this can cause major complications). So, very quickly, a sheet of condom was stretched over the probe which is probably as thick as an Ayamas sausage. And then no prize for guessing where it'll go. It wasn't that bad actually. Not painful at all. Just the initial mental discomfort. The little beginning of life was where it is supposed to be. IN my uterus. Good.
Back to the bleeding part. I stopped having the period-like bleeding actually. But nevertheless, it happened. I was given MC for 3 days and on it, written, threatened miscarriage, a familiar term to me. Fine. So the next week, and two weeks forward, and more weeks down the line, I had my follow-ups religiously, and the little life grew as it should be. A sac became a fetal pole with heartbeat, a fetal pole became an embryo, an embryo became a fetus, and just last week, it looked like a fully formed baby, with legs and arms, at 13 weeks. How amazing!
But I still see chocolate. It had stopped for few days but it always came back. And although I've had this experience, it is still worrying, but not as much as if it is the first time. We don't really know the cause, but from Mr. Google, I thought it could be subchorionic hematoma, gathering of blood between the membranes of the placenta and the uterus, or a blood clot in the uterus. That could be the reason why I'm discharging it slowly. And there's nothing you can do about it. All I can do now is minimize walking, carrying Darren and stop gymnastics. And I hope soon, the only chocolate I see is from my Cadbury pack.
I hope this is informative for those who are experiencing bleeding in their first trimester. It is no doubt very frightening but whatever will be, will be. Keeping an open and accepting mind is important. Like Daniel mooning at me that day -_-
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The Send-Me-To-Outer-Space Stick
This thing here is probably one of the few inventions in the world that has never failed to wreak a woman's nerves (and her man), whether it is a wanted or an unwanted outcome.
Do you remember collecting your SPM results? Or STPM results? Or receiving your acceptance/rejection letter to your University of choice? THIS is 100x more exhilarating and scary. It is THE examination result of your entire life! My heart had beaten so fast and hard that it thrusted out of my chest cavity ala Alien.
You know these things are so fast these days. In the instruction leaflet, it says wait for at least 3 mortal minutes. But in reality, the line becomes visible within nano-minutes. They're like GTI sticks! Before your heart even have the chance to launch itself out ala Alien, you will be able to see emerging line(s). Just like checking online Magnum4D results on your iPhone.
Now, your man was probably next to you the whole time but you never notice him. Your mind is SO focused on the stick that you don't want to see any other sticks at the moment.
This stick has given me some of my best and not-so-best memories. But I tell you one thing for sure, no matter what you felt then, after 9 months, it is THE best outcome you will ever experience.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Confinement
Tough luck if you just delivered a baby and you are a Chinese living in Asia, well, at least in Malaysia for me. Just when you thought the worst pain is over, you'll have to observe a month of traditional ritual which involves eating specialty food mostly cooked with lots of ginger and wine, drinking only red date longan water, staying away from cool breeze, lots of sweating, bathing in specially boiled herbal bath water, not washing your hair for as long as you can tahan and basically just staying at home to rot. It is a month of inconveniences.
Most mothers will hire a confinement lady to help out during this month. Her job is to prepare the speciality food, look after the new mother and the baby, therefore finding an experienced one is very important. I remember my first confinement lady. She totally rocks. She seems to have magic fingers that worked so efficiently yet she always appear so calm and free. And for the fact that maybe Daniel was an easy newborn, she managed him perfectly. She was a genuine confinement lady.
Unfortunately, she has retired and I have lost her contact number anyway. SO... I wasn't that lucky this time. Thanks to my grandmother's recommendation, I have this nutcase in my house. (LOL) Well, she ain't SO bad but there are times I want to laugh at the things she do. And many things that seem to irritate the bones out of me. So long story short, here are the Top Ten Things She Did To Humiliate Herself and Her Profession:
1. This one is classic. Get ready. She cooked the traditional pig stomach's soup. ...... WITH ITALIAN HERBS!! WHY? Because she forgot PEPPER in the shopping list for the Paul's trip to the market. She just grabs the McCormick's bottle and add a few dash of herbs. How come? Go to next point.
2. She can't smell. She has lost her sense of smell. Maybe genetic, maybe by accident, I don't care. Maybe when she was like... 16, she went out to buy some Italian Herbs for the pig stomach soup she was cooking, and on the way, she like... fell into a pile of cowdung and some dung like, osmosis-ed into her airways and completely destroyed her smelling nerves. Whatever. Because cooking GOOD nutritious appetizing specialty food is a major requisition for this profession, I wonder how do you do it with a bad nose.
3. She hardly checked baby's diaper for poop. Sometimes, when baby fussed a bit, she would just pat him back to sleep. Most of the time I was the one who discovered or suspected the dirty outpoooot. Bad nose maybe? I don't smell anything poopy, but it is the matter of JUST checking.
4. There's something about the way she holds the bottle while feeding. Macam senget. That causes air to go in between baby's mouth and the teat. He chokes. Bad move for gassy stomach. And when baby doesn't quite finish his feed, she forces him to finish by moving the bottle in an in-out maneuver in his tiny little mouth. She just doesn't have this feeding instinct.
5. She doesn't burp him enough. She just do it for the sake of doing it, for about 1 minute and she puts him down. Her excuse? "Oh, he doesn't burp, he farts!" Sure he farts a lot, but at least try burping him for 5 minutes. No wonder he has gassy cramps often. Biatch.
6. She's not very organized. Baby wears cloth diapers (only for the first month), which gets wet and poopy many times during the day and needs to be changed. She doesn't fold them into diapers in advance. She just folds them as how you would just fold your towel or hankie. So, when it's time to change the diapers, she has to unnecessarily get her hands full. When I realized this, I made a gentle remark. "Hey auntie, why don't you pre-fold the diapers so it's ready to be used when you need it fast". She said "Oh ya hor". Real smart.
7. There are two classification of herbs in Chinese medicine. Similar to yin and yang, there are herbs that are 'cooling' and 'heaty'. During confinement, you are supposed to take only 'heaty' herbs. She took a pack of ginseng-lookalike thingy and said she will brew them for me. My mom, thank goodness she was there, brought those to the TCM shop to have them ground or sliced very thinly. Those ginseng-lookalike thingamajik turn out to be the 'cooling' kind of herbs and is a big NO NO for confinement mommies. Anyhow hantam. REAL smart.
8. She's got mood. She's petty-sensitive. Due to a miniscule misunderstanding, she threw a tantrum. She glared at my helper with dagger-eyes and didn't talk to her the whole day. My helper cried. Due to another trivial issue with Paul, she wanted to leave half-way. I had to be the mediator. It was a rather stressful event. She stressed us up. BIATCH.
9. She doesn't seem to have a temperature sense, especially if it concerns the comfort of the baby. For the first few nights at home, baby was fussing a lot the whole day. Why? Because it was hot and humid, the room was stuffy and she still swaddled him into a bundle of hotness. Is she a lizard in disguise?
10. I detest her eyebrows. OK, not relevant. But hey, it might scare babies right right right? Even if they see a blurry face, a pair of thick unkept eyebrows would scare them shitless. Or as Chinese old folks say, baby's poop will be green. LOL
You'll know a fraud when you meet one.
Most mothers will hire a confinement lady to help out during this month. Her job is to prepare the speciality food, look after the new mother and the baby, therefore finding an experienced one is very important. I remember my first confinement lady. She totally rocks. She seems to have magic fingers that worked so efficiently yet she always appear so calm and free. And for the fact that maybe Daniel was an easy newborn, she managed him perfectly. She was a genuine confinement lady.
Unfortunately, she has retired and I have lost her contact number anyway. SO... I wasn't that lucky this time. Thanks to my grandmother's recommendation, I have this nutcase in my house. (LOL) Well, she ain't SO bad but there are times I want to laugh at the things she do. And many things that seem to irritate the bones out of me. So long story short, here are the Top Ten Things She Did To Humiliate Herself and Her Profession:
1. This one is classic. Get ready. She cooked the traditional pig stomach's soup. ...... WITH ITALIAN HERBS!! WHY? Because she forgot PEPPER in the shopping list for the Paul's trip to the market. She just grabs the McCormick's bottle and add a few dash of herbs. How come? Go to next point.
2. She can't smell. She has lost her sense of smell. Maybe genetic, maybe by accident, I don't care. Maybe when she was like... 16, she went out to buy some Italian Herbs for the pig stomach soup she was cooking, and on the way, she like... fell into a pile of cowdung and some dung like, osmosis-ed into her airways and completely destroyed her smelling nerves. Whatever. Because cooking GOOD nutritious appetizing specialty food is a major requisition for this profession, I wonder how do you do it with a bad nose.
3. She hardly checked baby's diaper for poop. Sometimes, when baby fussed a bit, she would just pat him back to sleep. Most of the time I was the one who discovered or suspected the dirty outpoooot. Bad nose maybe? I don't smell anything poopy, but it is the matter of JUST checking.
4. There's something about the way she holds the bottle while feeding. Macam senget. That causes air to go in between baby's mouth and the teat. He chokes. Bad move for gassy stomach. And when baby doesn't quite finish his feed, she forces him to finish by moving the bottle in an in-out maneuver in his tiny little mouth. She just doesn't have this feeding instinct.
5. She doesn't burp him enough. She just do it for the sake of doing it, for about 1 minute and she puts him down. Her excuse? "Oh, he doesn't burp, he farts!" Sure he farts a lot, but at least try burping him for 5 minutes. No wonder he has gassy cramps often. Biatch.
6. She's not very organized. Baby wears cloth diapers (only for the first month), which gets wet and poopy many times during the day and needs to be changed. She doesn't fold them into diapers in advance. She just folds them as how you would just fold your towel or hankie. So, when it's time to change the diapers, she has to unnecessarily get her hands full. When I realized this, I made a gentle remark. "Hey auntie, why don't you pre-fold the diapers so it's ready to be used when you need it fast". She said "Oh ya hor". Real smart.
7. There are two classification of herbs in Chinese medicine. Similar to yin and yang, there are herbs that are 'cooling' and 'heaty'. During confinement, you are supposed to take only 'heaty' herbs. She took a pack of ginseng-lookalike thingy and said she will brew them for me. My mom, thank goodness she was there, brought those to the TCM shop to have them ground or sliced very thinly. Those ginseng-lookalike thingamajik turn out to be the 'cooling' kind of herbs and is a big NO NO for confinement mommies. Anyhow hantam. REAL smart.
8. She's got mood. She's petty-sensitive. Due to a miniscule misunderstanding, she threw a tantrum. She glared at my helper with dagger-eyes and didn't talk to her the whole day. My helper cried. Due to another trivial issue with Paul, she wanted to leave half-way. I had to be the mediator. It was a rather stressful event. She stressed us up. BIATCH.
9. She doesn't seem to have a temperature sense, especially if it concerns the comfort of the baby. For the first few nights at home, baby was fussing a lot the whole day. Why? Because it was hot and humid, the room was stuffy and she still swaddled him into a bundle of hotness. Is she a lizard in disguise?
10. I detest her eyebrows. OK, not relevant. But hey, it might scare babies right right right? Even if they see a blurry face, a pair of thick unkept eyebrows would scare them shitless. Or as Chinese old folks say, baby's poop will be green. LOL
You'll know a fraud when you meet one.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
My ChildBirth Story
I love surprises. Including the moment my water broke at 1am on the 27th February, while chit-chatting with the husband in bed. Just an hour past my birthday. Who could’ve thought. I wasn’t due until 18th March.
This was my first water-break experience. It’s like an uncontrolled pee. All of a sudden, without any warning or sign, I wet myself. So I rushed to the toilet and sat there for 10 minutes. The water came on and off. Hmm.. maybe I’ve lost control of my bladder. The water came again. I called the hospital and was asked to pop in to check. I told the husband, “I think this is it”. Thank goodness I have already packed my hospital bag.
I hate the way Labour Rooms make you feel. It has that scary the-moment-awaits-you vibes. The bed (of suffering), the weird instruments, the sterilized metallic tools you wish the doctors won’t use IN you, the fetal and contraction monitors, the sounds, everything in there.
First, I stripped ALL the way, and had to wear the KPJ pink robe. I lied on the bed, and the nurses started taking my blood pressure and my temperature, which is a routine throughout my stay. The nurse asked basic medical history too. Then, as I anticipate with displeasure, a nurse did an internal examination to check my cervix dilation. I hate this. I really really do, and unfortunately is a routine throughout the labour. I was only ‘fingertip’ dilated. LOOOOONNNNG way to go sister. More water came out after the probing. Then, I was strapped to the fetal heartbeat and contraction monitor. I heard the familiar sound of the echoed heartbeat, going woov woov woov woov woov woov woov woov woov. 130 beats per minute on average. I was asked to rest, and sleep. The husband went home to sleep for a couple of hours and to prepare everything at home.
I didn’t sleep a wink. I was tightly strapped for goodness sake. And hospital beds are as hard as rock. So I just lied there and close my eyes whenever I could, anticipating with every breath.
At 9am, my gynae came to do his rounds at the Labour Ward. Again, the dreaded internal examination. I tell you, male doctors don’t do it as gently as the female nurses/midwives/doctors. I was waiting to hear good progress, but to my despair, I was only 3cm dilated!! It was already 7 hours since my water broke! So, more waiting. I was given Pitocin to speed up labour. Lowest dose, according to the nurse. My contractions still didn’t hurt. Then I decided to do the smartest thing I remember reading about on Labour Positions. I sat, instead of semi-lying on the bed. Maybe gravity helped the baby move lower into the birth canal. A few hours after sitting, my contraction chart looked promising, strong contractions every 4-5 minutes. Mine came in duplets. Two contractions, one after the other, every 4-5 minutes. It started to feel like a bad tummyache or diarrhea ache.
Now, contrary to what many of you believed, I did not opt for Epidural-Free birth. I DID asked for it, because I didn’t know how the pain would increase from here. Tummyache? Sure I can deal with it, but what if it gets worse and I lose control and freak out and … faint midway? That would be disastrous… and undoubtedly embarrassing.
So I did asked. I was 6cm dilated, and I knew this would be the time to ask for it, before it’s too late and I want to kill everybody in the room. The nurse checked the charts and was concerned that with every contractions I had, the fetal heartrate dropped a little. Gosh, is history repeating itself? That was the case with Daniel too. I was told that my chances of a natural birth would be quite slim. All my memories of the C-section came back. The nurse told me that epidural wasn’t advisable because we don’t know what is causing the fetal heartrate to drop. It could, instead endanger him. So I waited again, with no hope of epidural or maybe a chance of experiencing natural birth. Fortunately, I could still bear with the tummyache.
I can’t exactly remember the time when my contractions started to hurt more and more. I felt the pelvic pressure bearing down more and more. And all this happened probably within half an hour. Then all of a sudden, I felt the urge to push. Much like pooing. A LOT like pooing. I told the nurses in desperation because I had no control over the pushing urge. A nurse examined me again. But I think she was doing more than checking my cervix dilation. I groaned and squirmed as she did her thing down there. At this point, several nurses were scurrying up and down the room, preparing the table of instruments and the baby’s ‘arrival cot’ etc, and I realized, this is it. It’s going to happen soon! OUCH!
The urge to push came again and again. Closer to each other, within less than minute. The nurse asked me, “ You rasa macam nak berak ya”. As I cling onto the bedsheet, I muttered “YA”. I was breaking out in sweat. I just held on to whatever I could. The bed rail, the sheets. I was at the verge of tears. The husband, all these while beside me, was witnessing the sudden change in pace. One of the nurses handed him a gas mask, I think it was nitrus oxide gas, best known as happy gas or laughing gas. I inhaled it a couple of times, and instantly went woozy. I felt like I was blackening out. I just wanted to doze off. It was a good brief moment when I forgot about the pain and panic I was in.
Everything was set up. My feet on stirrups. The doctor walked in, put on this pair of long black rubber boots and PVC apron, and sat in front of me. “OK, push” he said. There were 7 nurses in the room, all focusing on my vijayjay and yelling PUSH! The amazing fact about a woman’s body in labour is that you WILL know when to push because the body is actually doing the work. With every contraction accompanied by the urge to push, I just rode along. When there were no contraction, I rested, but then the resting period didn’t last because my contractions were coming on in less than a minute apart. How efficient! One of the nurses taught me how to do it the right. I never knew there was a correct way of pushing, I thought there was only one. So I did as told. I held onto the bed railings, on both sides, and pulled towards me, instead of pushing it. And grunting was not the way either, like in many movies where the woman grimaces and screams. I pushed, SILENTLY. No vocals allowed. Only my background singers going PUUUUUUSH!
Unbelievably, after 5 minutes of pushing, my baby was out, and was immediately placed on my chest. It was a magical moment. An experience of a lifetime. It’s like falling in love all over again.
After the drama, I found out why the nurses had a brief look of concern on them and why they were all cheering on so urgingly when I was at the pushing stage. The cord was around his neck as his head emerged. It was quickly cut, and that was why the husband didn't get to cut the cord. Ah well, happy ending.
This was my first water-break experience. It’s like an uncontrolled pee. All of a sudden, without any warning or sign, I wet myself. So I rushed to the toilet and sat there for 10 minutes. The water came on and off. Hmm.. maybe I’ve lost control of my bladder. The water came again. I called the hospital and was asked to pop in to check. I told the husband, “I think this is it”. Thank goodness I have already packed my hospital bag.
I hate the way Labour Rooms make you feel. It has that scary the-moment-awaits-you vibes. The bed (of suffering), the weird instruments, the sterilized metallic tools you wish the doctors won’t use IN you, the fetal and contraction monitors, the sounds, everything in there.
First, I stripped ALL the way, and had to wear the KPJ pink robe. I lied on the bed, and the nurses started taking my blood pressure and my temperature, which is a routine throughout my stay. The nurse asked basic medical history too. Then, as I anticipate with displeasure, a nurse did an internal examination to check my cervix dilation. I hate this. I really really do, and unfortunately is a routine throughout the labour. I was only ‘fingertip’ dilated. LOOOOONNNNG way to go sister. More water came out after the probing. Then, I was strapped to the fetal heartbeat and contraction monitor. I heard the familiar sound of the echoed heartbeat, going woov woov woov woov woov woov woov woov woov. 130 beats per minute on average. I was asked to rest, and sleep. The husband went home to sleep for a couple of hours and to prepare everything at home.
I didn’t sleep a wink. I was tightly strapped for goodness sake. And hospital beds are as hard as rock. So I just lied there and close my eyes whenever I could, anticipating with every breath.
At 9am, my gynae came to do his rounds at the Labour Ward. Again, the dreaded internal examination. I tell you, male doctors don’t do it as gently as the female nurses/midwives/doctors. I was waiting to hear good progress, but to my despair, I was only 3cm dilated!! It was already 7 hours since my water broke! So, more waiting. I was given Pitocin to speed up labour. Lowest dose, according to the nurse. My contractions still didn’t hurt. Then I decided to do the smartest thing I remember reading about on Labour Positions. I sat, instead of semi-lying on the bed. Maybe gravity helped the baby move lower into the birth canal. A few hours after sitting, my contraction chart looked promising, strong contractions every 4-5 minutes. Mine came in duplets. Two contractions, one after the other, every 4-5 minutes. It started to feel like a bad tummyache or diarrhea ache.
Now, contrary to what many of you believed, I did not opt for Epidural-Free birth. I DID asked for it, because I didn’t know how the pain would increase from here. Tummyache? Sure I can deal with it, but what if it gets worse and I lose control and freak out and … faint midway? That would be disastrous… and undoubtedly embarrassing.
So I did asked. I was 6cm dilated, and I knew this would be the time to ask for it, before it’s too late and I want to kill everybody in the room. The nurse checked the charts and was concerned that with every contractions I had, the fetal heartrate dropped a little. Gosh, is history repeating itself? That was the case with Daniel too. I was told that my chances of a natural birth would be quite slim. All my memories of the C-section came back. The nurse told me that epidural wasn’t advisable because we don’t know what is causing the fetal heartrate to drop. It could, instead endanger him. So I waited again, with no hope of epidural or maybe a chance of experiencing natural birth. Fortunately, I could still bear with the tummyache.
I can’t exactly remember the time when my contractions started to hurt more and more. I felt the pelvic pressure bearing down more and more. And all this happened probably within half an hour. Then all of a sudden, I felt the urge to push. Much like pooing. A LOT like pooing. I told the nurses in desperation because I had no control over the pushing urge. A nurse examined me again. But I think she was doing more than checking my cervix dilation. I groaned and squirmed as she did her thing down there. At this point, several nurses were scurrying up and down the room, preparing the table of instruments and the baby’s ‘arrival cot’ etc, and I realized, this is it. It’s going to happen soon! OUCH!
The urge to push came again and again. Closer to each other, within less than minute. The nurse asked me, “ You rasa macam nak berak ya”. As I cling onto the bedsheet, I muttered “YA”. I was breaking out in sweat. I just held on to whatever I could. The bed rail, the sheets. I was at the verge of tears. The husband, all these while beside me, was witnessing the sudden change in pace. One of the nurses handed him a gas mask, I think it was nitrus oxide gas, best known as happy gas or laughing gas. I inhaled it a couple of times, and instantly went woozy. I felt like I was blackening out. I just wanted to doze off. It was a good brief moment when I forgot about the pain and panic I was in.
Everything was set up. My feet on stirrups. The doctor walked in, put on this pair of long black rubber boots and PVC apron, and sat in front of me. “OK, push” he said. There were 7 nurses in the room, all focusing on my vijayjay and yelling PUSH! The amazing fact about a woman’s body in labour is that you WILL know when to push because the body is actually doing the work. With every contraction accompanied by the urge to push, I just rode along. When there were no contraction, I rested, but then the resting period didn’t last because my contractions were coming on in less than a minute apart. How efficient! One of the nurses taught me how to do it the right. I never knew there was a correct way of pushing, I thought there was only one. So I did as told. I held onto the bed railings, on both sides, and pulled towards me, instead of pushing it. And grunting was not the way either, like in many movies where the woman grimaces and screams. I pushed, SILENTLY. No vocals allowed. Only my background singers going PUUUUUUSH!
Unbelievably, after 5 minutes of pushing, my baby was out, and was immediately placed on my chest. It was a magical moment. An experience of a lifetime. It’s like falling in love all over again.
After the drama, I found out why the nurses had a brief look of concern on them and why they were all cheering on so urgingly when I was at the pushing stage. The cord was around his neck as his head emerged. It was quickly cut, and that was why the husband didn't get to cut the cord. Ah well, happy ending.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Waiting...
Most of the time, I'm doing my things, thinking about usual routine stuff, you know, just living my everyday life.
THEN, I remember that I'm going to have a new baby soon! The reality kicks in. The childbirth, the life-changing MOMENT. The everything I've experienced before. There's a mixture of joy, excitement, worry and anticipation. I panic for a second, but I'm also eager to hold a baby soon, smell a baby, bath a bay, change a baby, feed a baby, craddle a baby!
Just waiting now, little Tiger, just waiting...
THEN, I remember that I'm going to have a new baby soon! The reality kicks in. The childbirth, the life-changing MOMENT. The everything I've experienced before. There's a mixture of joy, excitement, worry and anticipation. I panic for a second, but I'm also eager to hold a baby soon, smell a baby, bath a bay, change a baby, feed a baby, craddle a baby!
Just waiting now, little Tiger, just waiting...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I Forgot...
... I have a blog. Thank you placenta brain.
Like they say, second trimester is the best time of a pregnancy. I was up and about, crafting a lot, made wedding invites, cooked a bit, decorated my home a bit, ate a lot, gained some good weight, man, I wanted to do everything!
My favourite part is the eating bit. I have never had ravenous appetite before. The unpregnant me wished to eat a lot, but somehow I just can't. Now, I see cheesecake, I wallop. I can really eat and I love it!! In fact, during my 5th month, I gained 5 kg within a month or less. I was like "WOO HOO! COWABUNGA!" but the doctor was concerned about the rapid gain. Damn! Spoiler.
I'm entering the third dimension... I mean trimester. It feels heavier and heavier. Getting up from sitting position now requires 2 million calories and 50 billions ATPs ( energy compounds for those who forgotten their Biologi ), bullshit by the way, but it DOES feel like that. The human body is amazing don't you think.
I have to sleep early too. By the time I say '...and the dragon lived sadly alone, forever and ever. The end ", I konk out before Daniel has the time to ask me why this bedtime story sucks. Speaking of bedtime, my bedtime ritual is rubbing cocoa butter all over my belly. Nice. From previous experience, it helps with the itching and dryness.
Lately, the fetus has been hiccuping. So cute. If you're curious, here's why:
"...only more mature fetuses hiccup in the womb because their central nervous system is adequately developed in order to allow this to happen. It is believed that the fetus breathes in amniotic fluid or drinks it. When this happens and the amniotic fluid enters and exits the fetus lungs then the diaphragm contracts and hiccups results. Fetal hiccups appear to be extremely normal ..."
What else... ah, contractions. Do not panic! They're just Braxton-Hicks, they come and go now and then, few times a day. It feels like a tightening of the belly, like a 'practice contraction' or toning of the uteral muscles in preparation of labour. This also means, I should drink more water and sit down for a while...
..and the use 50 billions ATPs to get up.
Like they say, second trimester is the best time of a pregnancy. I was up and about, crafting a lot, made wedding invites, cooked a bit, decorated my home a bit, ate a lot, gained some good weight, man, I wanted to do everything!
My favourite part is the eating bit. I have never had ravenous appetite before. The unpregnant me wished to eat a lot, but somehow I just can't. Now, I see cheesecake, I wallop. I can really eat and I love it!! In fact, during my 5th month, I gained 5 kg within a month or less. I was like "WOO HOO! COWABUNGA!" but the doctor was concerned about the rapid gain. Damn! Spoiler.
I'm entering the third dimension... I mean trimester. It feels heavier and heavier. Getting up from sitting position now requires 2 million calories and 50 billions ATPs ( energy compounds for those who forgotten their Biologi ), bullshit by the way, but it DOES feel like that. The human body is amazing don't you think.
I have to sleep early too. By the time I say '...and the dragon lived sadly alone, forever and ever. The end ", I konk out before Daniel has the time to ask me why this bedtime story sucks. Speaking of bedtime, my bedtime ritual is rubbing cocoa butter all over my belly. Nice. From previous experience, it helps with the itching and dryness.
Lately, the fetus has been hiccuping. So cute. If you're curious, here's why:
"...only more mature fetuses hiccup in the womb because their central nervous system is adequately developed in order to allow this to happen. It is believed that the fetus breathes in amniotic fluid or drinks it. When this happens and the amniotic fluid enters and exits the fetus lungs then the diaphragm contracts and hiccups results. Fetal hiccups appear to be extremely normal ..."
What else... ah, contractions. Do not panic! They're just Braxton-Hicks, they come and go now and then, few times a day. It feels like a tightening of the belly, like a 'practice contraction' or toning of the uteral muscles in preparation of labour. This also means, I should drink more water and sit down for a while...
..and the use 50 billions ATPs to get up.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Orgasmic Childbirth
NOT kidding.
During my last check-up, last weekend, I asked my gynae if I have to deliver by Caesarean again this time. My impression on private practices are that they go for shortcuts and we pay for them big-time. I was surprised he said that I could try for a natural birth. I was a candidate for VBAC! (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) The thought of walking right after delivery was appealing to me!
Then I started to get nervous, like any new mother-to-be would, because this would feel like my first childbirth. Though my body went through labour (painless) and I was half-way dilated, I never get to deliver a baby like what Nature intended us to. I think I can handle pain quite well, but I also tend to panic easily and then 'freeze'. What if I can't handle the pain at the most crucial moment?!! WORST, what if my scar tears open during the process?? (Uterine rupture, can cause maternal and or fetal death, are you scared are you scared). This is the risk of VBAC, though reportedly at a low percentage. But still there's a percentage. Aren't we all part of statistics? I hate statistics.
So, I started scouting around for VBAC information, leading to natural childbirth experiences, leading to.... jeng jeng jeng... this weird trend of birth perception. ORGASMIC childbirth.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
I can't really describe it much because as the name implies, it is a painless but pleasurable mind-blowing ecstatic childbirth.
Here are some testimonials and excerpts from a site:
"Many mothers experience a burning or splitting sensation as the largest diameter of the baby's head passes through the birth outlet. Some actually experience orgasm."
-From Mind Over Labor, by Carl Jones, C.C.E.
".....The sensation of my daughter's body sliding out of my vagina was orgasmic. I still shudder when I think of how pleasurable that was."
-Caroline S.
"A woman in California was giving birth at home in a portable birth tub and feeling very sexy and loving with her partner. Each time she had a contraction she would cry out, 'Oh, baby, I love it. More...more!' Her windows were open because it was July, and soon a crowd gathered outside her home. When the baby was born amidst shouts of 'Yes!!! Yes!!! Oh, my God, yes!!!' her neighbors gave her a great round of applause. They only realized that it was a birth after they heard the cries of a baby."
-From Gentle Birth Choices, by Barbara Harper, R.N.
Sounds crazy. Is this really the best-kept secret? Is it... POSSIBLE??? Those ang mohs really full of ideas. They do homebirths where they sit in a bathtub during labour and birth. Do Malaysians do that I wonder? I know in some rural kampungs, they have midwives to assist the birth at home, but we city folks just go into the hospital, get epidural, or not, and get hooked onto tubes and monitors on fancy birthing beds or go straight to the operating room. Modern times.
No, no, don't get me wrong, I don't want a homebirth. But I'm attracted to the idea of having a labour coach, and midwives, and of course a doctor in case something happens, in a hospital setting. Support is what a labouring woman needs. And maybe... an orgasm. LOL.
During my last check-up, last weekend, I asked my gynae if I have to deliver by Caesarean again this time. My impression on private practices are that they go for shortcuts and we pay for them big-time. I was surprised he said that I could try for a natural birth. I was a candidate for VBAC! (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) The thought of walking right after delivery was appealing to me!
Then I started to get nervous, like any new mother-to-be would, because this would feel like my first childbirth. Though my body went through labour (painless) and I was half-way dilated, I never get to deliver a baby like what Nature intended us to. I think I can handle pain quite well, but I also tend to panic easily and then 'freeze'. What if I can't handle the pain at the most crucial moment?!! WORST, what if my scar tears open during the process?? (Uterine rupture, can cause maternal and or fetal death, are you scared are you scared). This is the risk of VBAC, though reportedly at a low percentage. But still there's a percentage. Aren't we all part of statistics? I hate statistics.
So, I started scouting around for VBAC information, leading to natural childbirth experiences, leading to.... jeng jeng jeng... this weird trend of birth perception. ORGASMIC childbirth.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
I can't really describe it much because as the name implies, it is a painless but pleasurable mind-blowing ecstatic childbirth.
Here are some testimonials and excerpts from a site:
"Many mothers experience a burning or splitting sensation as the largest diameter of the baby's head passes through the birth outlet. Some actually experience orgasm."
-From Mind Over Labor, by Carl Jones, C.C.E.
".....The sensation of my daughter's body sliding out of my vagina was orgasmic. I still shudder when I think of how pleasurable that was."
-Caroline S.
"A woman in California was giving birth at home in a portable birth tub and feeling very sexy and loving with her partner. Each time she had a contraction she would cry out, 'Oh, baby, I love it. More...more!' Her windows were open because it was July, and soon a crowd gathered outside her home. When the baby was born amidst shouts of 'Yes!!! Yes!!! Oh, my God, yes!!!' her neighbors gave her a great round of applause. They only realized that it was a birth after they heard the cries of a baby."
-From Gentle Birth Choices, by Barbara Harper, R.N.
Sounds crazy. Is this really the best-kept secret? Is it... POSSIBLE??? Those ang mohs really full of ideas. They do homebirths where they sit in a bathtub during labour and birth. Do Malaysians do that I wonder? I know in some rural kampungs, they have midwives to assist the birth at home, but we city folks just go into the hospital, get epidural, or not, and get hooked onto tubes and monitors on fancy birthing beds or go straight to the operating room. Modern times.
No, no, don't get me wrong, I don't want a homebirth. But I'm attracted to the idea of having a labour coach, and midwives, and of course a doctor in case something happens, in a hospital setting. Support is what a labouring woman needs. And maybe... an orgasm. LOL.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
A Tease Boy
The 20-plus-th week scan which is also called an anatomy scan was exciting. My 'replacement' gynae is a thorough one.
Sometimes, I'm really amazed at the doctors who could really read an ultrasound scan of a fetus. The doctor could see the nose and the lips of the baby's face and I'm like... HUH, what did I miss? What is that shadow? What is that thingy moving?
I'm also amazed at how he could zoom in to view the beating heart, and all its chambers and walls. The spine was easy to see of course. Then we looked at the diaphragm the tissue muscle separating the thorax and the abdomen. All is well.
Then, jeng jeng jeng. I wasn't really hard up to know about it, but E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E has been asking me to the point that it made me curious too. The thighs were close together at first.
"Oh, ooo, could be a girl" Doctor made a guess.
And then, this baby is such a teaser, the legs actually slowly opened at that moment to reveal his you-know-what. It was a funny moment. Definitely a boy. Unless that's the umbilical cord. Or maybe an obscene finger gesture.
What a thrill. Everyone hoped I'd have a girl. Isn't this natural? Well, I think it's a still blessing. A child is a gift indeed.
Sometimes, I'm really amazed at the doctors who could really read an ultrasound scan of a fetus. The doctor could see the nose and the lips of the baby's face and I'm like... HUH, what did I miss? What is that shadow? What is that thingy moving?
I'm also amazed at how he could zoom in to view the beating heart, and all its chambers and walls. The spine was easy to see of course. Then we looked at the diaphragm the tissue muscle separating the thorax and the abdomen. All is well.
Then, jeng jeng jeng. I wasn't really hard up to know about it, but E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E has been asking me to the point that it made me curious too. The thighs were close together at first.
"Oh, ooo, could be a girl" Doctor made a guess.
And then, this baby is such a teaser, the legs actually slowly opened at that moment to reveal his you-know-what. It was a funny moment. Definitely a boy. Unless that's the umbilical cord. Or maybe an obscene finger gesture.
What a thrill. Everyone hoped I'd have a girl. Isn't this natural? Well, I think it's a still blessing. A child is a gift indeed.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Craft Mojo
It's back. I want to DO something. Sew, cut, paste, stamp, design, anything! I look at my sewing machine and my craft corner eagerly but I have yet to do anything solid. Too many ideas too little time!
Gosh, it feels good to be close to normal again after the horrendous first trimester. Now, I have an obvious baby bump. I'm wearing my maternity pants from today onwards. I'm still belching now and then from a bit of reflux, but it's waaaay better than before this. I have felt the baby's kicks and movements, though not very frequent so I'm wondering if this is a less active baby than D. Maybe it's still too soon to tell.
In the meantime, I'll see what I can produce this week.
Gosh, it feels good to be close to normal again after the horrendous first trimester. Now, I have an obvious baby bump. I'm wearing my maternity pants from today onwards. I'm still belching now and then from a bit of reflux, but it's waaaay better than before this. I have felt the baby's kicks and movements, though not very frequent so I'm wondering if this is a less active baby than D. Maybe it's still too soon to tell.
In the meantime, I'll see what I can produce this week.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Acid Reflux
I'm starting to chat with Fetus2, like I did with D. While I drive, before I sleep, when I'm doing number2, just whenever I feel like it.
I like to build the connection early, like you know, feel 'connected' but I think it's still early as I don't really feel anything yet. I am anxious to feel the kicks and movements, I miss them so much! It is amazing to feel a life inside.
So the pregnancy woes goes on. First the nausea and zombiness, then the acid reflux and now the nose block and nosebleed galore. Nature is preparing me for disturbed sleep nights. Thank you very much.
Back to acid reflux. It is a horrible symptom from hell. Air keeps coming up my esophagus and I had to belch myself or induce puke to expel the trapped air in my throat ALL DAY LONG. Swallowing triggers vomit sensation so I couldn't just eat and eat whenever I wanted. And oh yes, excess saliva ALL DAY LONG. Saliva is alkaline and it's the body's way to neutralize the acidity of the stomach. So I was a spitting queen as well. Spit, belch, puke air, spit, belch, puke air. Rinse and repeat.
I learnt a lesson. I drank primarily bottled green tea, chrysanthemum tea, jasmine green tea, ribena and LOTS of juices because my mouth rejected water. Those could be the culprit of my gastro reflux. Big mistake. SO, it is important to moderate the intake of such drinks, and also tomatoes/tomato-based food, caffeine, fruits, anything acidic. Got it, mom-to-bes?
Sekian.
I like to build the connection early, like you know, feel 'connected' but I think it's still early as I don't really feel anything yet. I am anxious to feel the kicks and movements, I miss them so much! It is amazing to feel a life inside.
So the pregnancy woes goes on. First the nausea and zombiness, then the acid reflux and now the nose block and nosebleed galore. Nature is preparing me for disturbed sleep nights. Thank you very much.
Back to acid reflux. It is a horrible symptom from hell. Air keeps coming up my esophagus and I had to belch myself or induce puke to expel the trapped air in my throat ALL DAY LONG. Swallowing triggers vomit sensation so I couldn't just eat and eat whenever I wanted. And oh yes, excess saliva ALL DAY LONG. Saliva is alkaline and it's the body's way to neutralize the acidity of the stomach. So I was a spitting queen as well. Spit, belch, puke air, spit, belch, puke air. Rinse and repeat.
I learnt a lesson. I drank primarily bottled green tea, chrysanthemum tea, jasmine green tea, ribena and LOTS of juices because my mouth rejected water. Those could be the culprit of my gastro reflux. Big mistake. SO, it is important to moderate the intake of such drinks, and also tomatoes/tomato-based food, caffeine, fruits, anything acidic. Got it, mom-to-bes?
Sekian.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Baby2
Well, Fetus2 more like it for now...
First trimester woes
1. You name it I got it. Nausea, sleepiness, dizziness, bloating, hyper-salivating, restless leg syndrome and bitchiness.
With D, I was sick for just a short while. Not as sensitive as this time round. Go ahead, gimme the "OHHH!! IT'S GOING TO BE A GIRL!!!!" theory.
2. Is it me or do you tend to get aware of what you see. It's a stage where you can't help but 'fall' to believe a bit of the superstitions, like don't go to the zoo and look at animals. That day I watched Planet of the Apes. And I ter-saw pictures of mutant goat or something with two heads and human deformed face, and I quickly flip the pages. How ah. Invalid fear I know.
3. Been there, done that. Therefore, the worry is doubled this time. I'm not innocent anymore. I KNOW what's going to happen and what CAN happen.
With D, the labour was already taking place and me not realizing it. When I saw the 'show' (blood-tinged mucus discharge is a sign of labour) I called my doc and admitted myself for a day of monitoring. The machine I was strapped onto showed regular strong contractions. But all I felt was just painless 'tightening' of my abdomen. Next morning, I was 3cm dilated. Doctor said "Looks like you're going to have this baby today" I was at 37 weeks. Then, fetal heartbeat rate dropped. He pooped inside. Not a moment to lose! And everything happened so fast after that. I was shaved, given spinal block, wheeled to the OT and all I remember is the shivering. And then there he was. Tiny as a little kitten, red and cautiously alert. He was keeping his eyes open and looked like he was trying to find something. I was in tears. I cooed to him "Hey there... look at you! You ok? I'll see you soon ok?" Then he was whisked off to be observed for 24hours. Then more shivering, and more shivering. And then you get this question of a lifetime. "You nak you punya placenta tak?" Shiver shiver shiver.
In retrospect, anything could've happened, I thought. I'm deeply thankful that everything went alright.
4. "Hmm, how is this baby going to be like" thoughts. You WILL compare.
5. "I can't handle two kids" thoughts.
How could I possibly? I am an only child. I know nuts about sibling rivalry, jealousy, fights and the 2X mess. I had 26 imaginary friends and we all live peacefully! Can I love my kids equally? I don't know. Will my firstborn always be special? Maybe. Will I be able to impartially judge a squabble? I hope so. So many questions, 6 months to go.
Parenthood is not for the faint-hearted.
First trimester woes
1. You name it I got it. Nausea, sleepiness, dizziness, bloating, hyper-salivating, restless leg syndrome and bitchiness.
With D, I was sick for just a short while. Not as sensitive as this time round. Go ahead, gimme the "OHHH!! IT'S GOING TO BE A GIRL!!!!" theory.
2. Is it me or do you tend to get aware of what you see. It's a stage where you can't help but 'fall' to believe a bit of the superstitions, like don't go to the zoo and look at animals. That day I watched Planet of the Apes. And I ter-saw pictures of mutant goat or something with two heads and human deformed face, and I quickly flip the pages. How ah. Invalid fear I know.
3. Been there, done that. Therefore, the worry is doubled this time. I'm not innocent anymore. I KNOW what's going to happen and what CAN happen.
With D, the labour was already taking place and me not realizing it. When I saw the 'show' (blood-tinged mucus discharge is a sign of labour) I called my doc and admitted myself for a day of monitoring. The machine I was strapped onto showed regular strong contractions. But all I felt was just painless 'tightening' of my abdomen. Next morning, I was 3cm dilated. Doctor said "Looks like you're going to have this baby today" I was at 37 weeks. Then, fetal heartbeat rate dropped. He pooped inside. Not a moment to lose! And everything happened so fast after that. I was shaved, given spinal block, wheeled to the OT and all I remember is the shivering. And then there he was. Tiny as a little kitten, red and cautiously alert. He was keeping his eyes open and looked like he was trying to find something. I was in tears. I cooed to him "Hey there... look at you! You ok? I'll see you soon ok?" Then he was whisked off to be observed for 24hours. Then more shivering, and more shivering. And then you get this question of a lifetime. "You nak you punya placenta tak?" Shiver shiver shiver.
In retrospect, anything could've happened, I thought. I'm deeply thankful that everything went alright.
4. "Hmm, how is this baby going to be like" thoughts. You WILL compare.
5. "I can't handle two kids" thoughts.
How could I possibly? I am an only child. I know nuts about sibling rivalry, jealousy, fights and the 2X mess. I had 26 imaginary friends and we all live peacefully! Can I love my kids equally? I don't know. Will my firstborn always be special? Maybe. Will I be able to impartially judge a squabble? I hope so. So many questions, 6 months to go.
Parenthood is not for the faint-hearted.
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