Thursday, October 11, 2012

Married to Smartphones

This has been brewing in my heart for a long time now (uh-oh) and I often feel sad and disappointed in the way things are nowadays.

What happened to the good old ways of hanging out together, communicating, cuddling and such in a home that was once filled with physical connections, lots of personal affections and trivial casual chit-chats. Those were so natural, like subconscious reflex. Now, the subconscious reflex is to reach for your smartphone regardless of whether there is a message alert beep or not.

Why is he whatsapping so much? Why is he playing games instead when we have a rare chance of lying in bed together just to chat after the kids are asleep? And if he's looking at his phone so often, why can't he reply a small favour I texted? Why didn't he texted me back? Why doesn't he call me during the day just to hear my voice? Why doesn't he leave me sweet-nothings messages?

The smartphones have taken away the romance. And I am miserable. I am genetically a romantic person. I am also a Piscean. I thrive on dreamland and affections. That is just who I am. My subconscious reflex, is to hug. I'm a hugger, a kisser, a tickler, a smoocher, a pecker, a holder. That is why I adore children because I could do all these so naturally. But when smartphones arrived in my home, I no longer felt I could be myself, the hugger. I want to, but I don't want to, why should I always be the romantic one? Resentment grew each day. It is miresable not being able to be yourself.

I even prayed. Daily. For God to give me abundance of love, for patience, to accept, for strength to be a loving wife amidst being chopped liver. But Samsung won (alongside the newspaper and the Golf Channel).

And what I'm most mad at is that he doesn't 'get it'. He doesn't sense that I need attention too. And the romantics HATE to have to spell it out loud. There was no way I could simply say, "Hey baby, put the phone/newspaper/remote down and have a chat with me, please?". Because that is NOT. ROMANTIC. And after being together for more than ten years, I expected some sensitivity towards my.. you know, body language, expression, and most importantly, what I'm NOT saying. I know, romantics are very hard to be with.

Then it struck me. As naturally as I am a romantic, men are naturally wired to be addicted to gadgets. It's the same as watching TV, especially if it's a good movie, your eyes are fixated on the screen and you just can't move away. It is also the same as driving by an accident scene on the road. We are all 'wired' to look. Darn it then why can't men be wired to be mutually romantic?


Anonymous said...

Dont worry Ally. You are not alone. Man are just man. Almost all are alike in some basic genetic values they have. Sometimes they just are insensitive. They are not like women who are more sensitive towards things around them. Sometimes they think ... if u need attention or u need to talk, then u need to tell me, else how would i know?

Most of the time, woman can think and do many things at one time, but man can only think and do one thing at a time.

You can try to read the book, men are from mars and women are from venus. it will tell you exactly how a man functions.


Anne said...

I can fully understand how you feel.

Ally said...

Sigh, Sally, I am stubborn as a mule unfortunately. I am well aware that men need to be informed of our feelings, our needs etc. But sometimes, I REFUSE to do it. Why must I inform him all the time? As a husband of 8 years, shouldn't he sense something? So, it could only mean that his mind is so into something else that I feel like I'm in the backseat. And I'm just gonna wait till he suddenly realizes and turns back to say "Oh, you're here..."

High-five Anne!

Hui Ching said...

You should text all these to his phone. If still doesn't work, then do the Hui Ching thing: Hide his phone.

Anonymous said...

Dont worry Ally. I am like you too..usually it works for a while, then they are back to their usual self and I would have to throw tantrums again to get some attention.

Sometimes I just get too tired and I give up and be quiet and not interested and mind my own business - cold treatment...and suddenly my husband notice it and start being a bit sensitive.


Ally said...

LOL! Hide his phone, his golf clubs and the cable TV card! Hide-and-Seek-Ally-First game, endorsed by Hui Ching.

That sounds like me too Sally, the silent war part. Hahahha... women are so complicated aren't we?

jhony swart said...

Nowadays, many people are purchasing Smartphones like never before. This has been driven by the improving number of inexpensive mobile phones that are being presented in the marketplace.


Lokman said...

That's one of the reason I don't buy smart phones. Hehe!

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