Letters To My Boys: Keeping Your Marriage In Love

Dear sons,
Some day you will find someone whom you want to share your everything with. Your dreams, your fears, your joy, your frustrations, your hope and many little mundane details in your daily life. If you have not found that someone, then it is not time yet or it's not meant to be. Accept that and live well anyway. If you have, cherish her as long as you both shall live. Even after many years of marriage, it cannot survive on love alone. It needs regular effort and thoughtfulness to keep it warm. You may be able to find many resources on 'How To Maintain A Happy Marriage', those are good, and these are personal ones from me.

1. Continue sharing your everything. This is actually a powerful way to keep yourselves emotionally engaged with each other. And this is one of the top reasons for a happy marriage. Set aside time for a hearty chat. Don't forget to ask her about her day regardless of how mundane it might be. She may have many friends whom she confides in, but at the end of the day, you are probably her bestest friend to share her everything with.

2. Once in a while, be a romantic fool. Anniversaries are good days to be that fool. Remind her how it felt to be courted. This, my sons, will bring a sparkle to her heart. Arrange for babysitting (I'll be glad to help), surprise her at work with a call and tell her to meet you at a fancy restaurant for a candlelight dinner. Never underrate the value of a candlelight dinner. It's common, it's old fashioned, but it works.

3. Have regular date nights. Go for a movie, or a supper. Or sneak out for ice cream.

4. Hugs. And kisses. Both will be nice.

5. Never let go of a chance to hold her hand. Even when it's getting wrinkled. Physical affections are the easiest way to show her that you still care. And it's free. Play with her fingers, caress her back, stroke her hair. These are instant intimacy gestures that will, again, bring sparkle to her heart. You may not know it, but it does.

It every mother's dream to be able to raise a fine husband and to see him enjoy a blissful happy marriage.

XOXO
Mummy