Things I'm Afraid To Tell You...

Sometime ago, blogger Jess Constable created the first list of "Things I'm Afraid To Tell You". Other bloggers started to read, share, tweet and support it. Since then it has become like a movement in the blogosphere. Here is an article about it.

I thought this would be a good time to share mine. Well, it's not really a list but a feeling that swept over me intensely for 2 days. Or 3. And it happened this week.

*Once in a long while, I wish I live alone*

This is a nasty mean thought. I truly love my husband and boys with every fibre and cells in my body, but there are a few times I wish I'm just me. Just for a day. I'm afraid to say it because I don't want this wish to come true. But for just one day, I would like to spend the day being just me.

I don't have to rush home to my kids (think crazy traffic).

I get to choose what I want to have for dinner, whatever, whenever, wherever I want. A little fancy meal in town with a good book or a bowl of plain instant noodle in front of the TV.

I get to watch TV. Any channels I want, any movies I want, and how long I want to leave the TV on.

I get to go shopping after work.

And come home as late as I want.

I get to craft FOREVER.

I get to redecorate every room however I want.

I get to blast out classical music while I shower.

I get to sleep early if I want to.

These are now luxuries to me. I can only wait till the boys are much older I guess. I'm wondering if I'm preparing myself way in advance for the future that holds for me. Seriously, it is reality now for many women. My husband would be out playing golf for the rest of his life, my boys would live their own lives and be out of the house most of the time, and I would have all these luxuries then!

18 years countdown...

*deep breath* There, I've said it.