Exhausted

I think I am stressed over something, or some things. I have been having a bit of a trouble falling asleep. And when I do fall asleep, I am like on alert mode, macam tidur tidur ayam. I'm really like tidur tak lena, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah...masak tak sedap, cuci tak bersih, mimpi tak shiok.. you know, like everything you do, it's just not right. I think I am anxious, or impatient, want to get things done fast and efficiently, always fighting for time, too tense, too hectic, too forgetful too. I need to slow down and smell the bunga rayas or I will suffer a serious case of exhaustion one day.

It's such a learning process, this motherhood thing. At the babysitter, the little rascal naps twice a day, 2 hours each. Ally thinks: Great! I can do my stuffs, and nap too! My life is perfect! Or so I thought. The little rascal DO NOT nap twice, 2 hours each. He crawls, climbs, play, wants mummy to sing song and clap hands all day, and sleeps for an hour. And mua is exhausted. So I told myself, NEVER have expectations. And it's like battle of the wills. See who can last longer. I know he is tired and sleepy but he seem to want to stay awake...you know like the song "I don't want to miss a thing"...like so sweet right? He wants to spend as much waking moments with mummy and daddy and doesn't want to miss anything. But it's not sweet when both baby and mom are tired, then there's no quality play time. I explained to him, and I hope he understands deep inside.